FF – Out of Ideas
Here is my “not really a story” for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Rochelle.
I was a bit stumped this week and didn’t have a lot of time.
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
“Okay then, here goes…
“The mists rolled ominously across the moors. Bethwick drew a deep breath, cocked his rifle and strode out into the gloom. Suddenly…”
“Hang on, what’s this?”
“My photo prompt story.”
“You’re supposed to be writing about a weed in an ash tray.”
“Shh, keep it down. That’s probably her prize crystal serving dish.”
“It’s definitely a weed, though.”
“Yeah, I’ll give you that. Okay, ditch the tale of intrigue and murder out on the misty moors. Take two!”
“There once was a weed which lived in an ash… I’m not feeling it. Pub?”
“Yeah.”
Sharing My World 2018 Week 20
Here’s my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
Complete this sentence: This sandwich could really use some…
… hot sauce.
What is your least favourite candy?
Liquorice. ‘Tis indeed the devil’s food.
What sign are you? Do you believe in astrology?
Libra. And no. I once had a read of the traits of a Libran, and I was amazed! A lot of it was me! Then I read the traits of the other signs. And I was amazed! A lot of it was me too!
This stuff, and horoscopes, are like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Once you’ve read it you find a way to make it true, or see it in yourself.
FF – Wrath of the Gods
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was submitted by Courtney Wright from an anonymous source.
Heh. I started smiling the instant I saw this and within 5 minutes my story was all typed in. So you can probably guess it’s not one of those “cerebral” ones. You know, like the ones I never write.
Copyright anonymous, submitted by Courtney Wright
“Wow. Sure they’re Chaeron’s boots?”
“Verily. They were still smoking when I arrived.”
“You think Zeus finally zapped him for his blasphemy?”
“Maybe. Wait though, who’s this? Hey, it’s Chaeron!”
“It worked! My teleporter! It worked! It zapped me clear over the other side of the village! Left my boots behind. Needs a little adjustment.”
“Yeah, Chaeron. Sure it did. C’mon, Callinus, let’s go.”
“No, wait, it did work! I am all powerful! More powerful than even feeble Zeus! The gods will tremble…”
Zap! Bang! Fizz!
“What was that flash of light?”
“Dunno. Can you smell barbecue? I smell barbecue.”
Pegman – A Wales by Any Other Name
Here is my post for What Pegman Saw. This week Pegman is in Gwynedd, Wales. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve contributed 😦
The photo I chose is of the Cross Foxes Inn where I stayed a few years ago on a little holiday. My story is more inspired by Wales than in Wales, and I’ve popped a couple of photos at the end which I took while I was there.
Copyright Google
“At last week’s product meeting we tasked Barry to give us all his view on the market in Wales. Barry?”
“Thank you Alyssa. Ahem. Whales. Monsters of the sea. Grand, majestic…”
“Uh, Barry…”
“… blubber for oil, bone for corsets…”
“Barry, stop! Not only are you horribly out of date but we need your product evaluation for Wales, not whales. Next week?”
“Okay, sorry.”
Next week…
“Okay folks, sorry about last week. Barry, if you will?”
“Thank you. Ahem. Wails. Screams. Screeches. The banshee’s call of dooooom. A weapon of awesome power, to monetise as we see fit…”
“BARRY! Wales. The country.”
“Oh, shit. Sorry everyone. Next week, I promise. A fully comprehensive breakdown of product opportunities in Wales. The country.”
Next week…
“Wales. Damn pretty. Hills, rivers, forests. Nothing we can sell them. They have it all. Luvvvvly.”
“Barry? You’re right. And you’re fired.”
A waterfall in Coed y Brenin forest park, Wales
Copyright me
Sharing My World 2018 Week 19
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
If you were given $22 million tax free dollars (any currency), what is the first thing you would do? (This is just a dream question, remember anything can happen in SYW.)
Wow, $22 million dollars! But which country’s dollars? Knowing my luck it’s Zimbabwe dollars. So that’s just under GB£45,000. A “dream question”? Mine’s turned into a nightmare, I got lumbered with dodgy currency. That’s just bloody typical.
I’ll use it to pay off some of my mortgage. I can only hope it wasn’t the old pre-2009 Zimbabwe dollar. I just checked and you can buy 100 trillion of those for £1.50 on eBay 🙂
In what do you find the simplest of joys?
Nothing in this life seems to be particularly simple. I suppose something very uncomplicated, away from everyday life, like sitting by a babbling brook.
That’s more contentment than joy, though.
What would be your ideal birthday present, and why?
I don’t know, I don’t really care about birthday presents. Maybe I’ll have the $22m from the first question in a more worthwhile sort of dollar, like AUD or USD.
FF – Letter to Mama
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jill Wisoff.
After my last dark stories I was really in the mood for more gruesomeness this week but I don’t want people to start to worry about me 🙂 so I’ve ended up with this. As you can probably tell from the title “Letter to Mama” there will be no violence, unless it’s like “Dear Mama, I ritually disembowelled another heretic today. How is Papa?” or something.
I wrote a third person one and a letter one and went with the letter one in the end.
Copyright Jill Wisoff
Dear Mama,
I have arrived! So many strange sights. Though dressed in loincloth and carrying my spear, no-one seems to care. Many strange people are here!
Today I glanced up and saw a wonderful omen. Yellow eyes, red cheeks, spiked hat… yes, Mama. The god Meechakukuwhawha (photo enclosed)! These people also worship the god of the harvest, procreation and anteaters. How wonderful!
Later, I obtained a “chilli dog” from a street vendor. I do not know what dogs they have in Chile and hoped it would be Chihuahua within the bun, but I fear not.
Your loving son,
Natwahu
Sharing My World 2018 Week 18
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
Do you use paper money? If so is your money organised sequentially according to denomination?
You have to use paper money in my business. It can’t be traceable. It can’t lead back to you. Paper money. Or Bitcoins.
No, wait, I work in IT. I’m not a mobster. Forget I said anything. IT, got it?
I always make sure I have some paper money in my wallet and change in my pocket. You never know when you might need it. Everything and everyone is NOT set up for a cashless society. Try buying a 99 with hundreds and thousands from the ice cream van using a credit card.
Just a few weeks ago the card readers were down at the petrol station. Fortunately, I had cash to pay with! And yes, it’s organised by denomination (though I usually only have tenners and fivers).
You are comfortable doing nothing? For long stretches of time?
Am I? No, I’m not. Just sitting there, doing nothing at all? I don’t think so.
What is your greatest strength?
Ooh, I don’t have any. Or they’re all equally strong. Or not strong. One of those.
What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?
My wild garden has begun to bloom.
It’s not supposed to be a wild garden. I just haven’t done any gardening.
I took this photo a few minutes ago, just before 7am. It’s supposed to reach 20 degrees later on, but right now it’s bloody cold.
FF – He Seemed Like Such a Nice Man
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Karen Rawson.
For some reason a very dark story occurred to me this week, sorry.
Copyright Karen Rawson
He glanced behind as his family struggled up the slope, grinning as his youngest fell and slipped into the muddy water. Lashing out he threw his wife against a tree. His eldest ran past and he tripped her, laughing as she tumbled down. He was free, free…!
Jerked suddenly awake, he hears the grating, whining voice of his wife even from inside his shed. The kids are arguing. Again. Plagued in dreams and wakefulness! Something snaps inside, white and red flashes in his brain. He grabs his axe and stalks towards the house.
“… he seemed like such a nice man…”
Sharing My World 2018 Week 17
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would you get?
Hmm, is chocolate food? I would say “pizzas” but I wouldn’t want any of those shop-bought ones. Maybe an endless supply of Indian takeaways.
List at least five movies or books that cheer you up.
Well, there nothing like a good slaughter-fest to make me laugh. There’s “Planet Terror”, that’s fun. Then “John Wick”. I recently watched “John Wick 2” so I’m adding that to the list. There’s this great bit where he whips his car around and catapults a hoodlum into a reinforced pillar. I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. “Guardians of the Galaxy” 1 and 2 and “Thor Ragnarok”.
If you were a mouse in your house in the evening, what would you see your family doing?
I wouldn’t see them doing anything as there’s just me and apparently now I’m a mouse. Somebody left the TV on, though.
FF – Marital Bliss
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jan Wayne Fields.
I tried a bit of present tense this week to try to make it seem more “immediate”. Or whatever. I had major issues with the word count, much rewording was required!
Copyright Jan Wayne Fields
“How about a photo, my darling? Move a bit closer to the edge, it’ll be more dramatic. Look at the view.” A couple more yards, then I’ve got you…
“Of course dearest. It’s lovely!”
She reaches the edge and he charges forward, arms outstretched, face murderous, triumphant. Oblivious, she bends to rummage in her bag. Eyes wide, he trips over her and falls, smashing on the rocks below.
“Oh my. How… unfortunate. And messy. Well, this is more ‘accidental-looking’. It’s so hard to explain a stab wound.“
She places the knife back in her bag, dials the police, and smiles.
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