Sharing My World 2018 Week 14

April 8, 2018 27 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

What was or is your favourite cartoon?
Hmm. Back in the day I liked Scooby Doo. Who doesn’t? These days it’s stuff like “King of the Hill” and “F is for Family”.

Which cooking utensil (other than the usual pots and pans etc) would you miss the most?
My Mum. Hahahahaha. No, seriously, my fish slice. I use it for turning and serving loads of stuff.

Would you dare to sleep in haunted house overnight?
Given that a “haunted house” is probably just a “house”, what’s in it for me? Is it comfortable? Is there WiFi? What’s for tea?

If it’s an old, chilly, uncomfortable house I suppose it would be okay with a group of people looking forward to the full “haunting experience”. Might be a laugh.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?
This advert in my gmail made me laugh.

What, seriously? Why did I dismiss this ad? For a Chinese mud pump? Why does Google think I want to buy a mud pump? Why would I be so desperate to pump mud that I’d consider importing a whole machine from China for the purpose?

Let’s have a show of hands. Who here wants to buy a Chinese mud pumping machine?

No one?

Thought not.

 

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FF – Not a Decoration

April 4, 2018 66 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

Copyright Dale Rogerson

 

People fled in terror as thunderous footsteps shook the ground.

“Giant! Giant!” they screamed.

The hideous beast, wearing an expression of rage, trampled everything, picking up cars and hurling them like toys. Everywhere, it saw puny, tiny humans running for cover.

Ripping the wall from a building, it paused and smiled, a twisted grimace of triumph. A woman screamed as the giant’s hairy hand came closer, but she was ignored. The hand grabbed a suspended artwork and the giant moved away, popping it on its head. As it left it could be heard muttering.

Damn humans. Always nicking my hat.

 

Pegman – Best Intentions

April 2, 2018 34 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw which this week takes us to the Gurara Waterfalls in Nigeria.

Copyright Eimantas Tamonis for Google Maps

 

“Ah, the power, the majesty…”

“Don’t jump, mate.”

“No, I’m just enjoying…”

“It’s not worth it. Lost your job?”

“You don’t understand…”

“It’s the wife, right? Shacked up with your best mate?”

“No, really, I just want some peace and quiet to…”

“It’s not worth killing yourself over.”

“Listen, you need to…”

“Just ‘cos he’s a stallion in the sack and you’re more of an eager hamster…”

“What? What? You… you…” shove

“Aaaargh… nooooot agaaaaaaain…” splash!

“That’s better. Ah, the power, the majesty…”

 

2 weeks later, after yet another stay in hospital…

 

“Oh, the gorgeous view…”

“Hey, lady, don’t jump, it’s not worth it.”

“Excuse me? No, I’m just enjoying…”

“It’s the old man, right? Shacked up with your best mate…”

 

Sharing My World 2018 Week 13

April 1, 2018 24 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

What is your favourite colour of hair? You can name your hair colour or a colour that you just like.
Wow, I had to add four letter “u’s” to that sentence to make all the red lines go away 🙂

For myself, nondescript brown with grey bits is fine. Woman-wise, any sort of brown, natural blond, or any hair with cool colouring. Highlights, all bright red – it says something about the personality I think.

List at least 5 things that you are good at.
Huh. I’m not particularly good at anything. I’m acceptable at lots of things. Everything I do, I tend to reach “okay” level and get no further. It’s like my job title, which basically means “jack of all trades, master of none”.

What is your favourite animal or type of animal? (pets, dolphins, stuffed, wild cats, etc)
Anything that’s stuffed. In real life, widdle kittens and kitty cats. And bunnies 🙂

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?
I appreciate having a week off this coming week. 10 days off in a row for the price of 4 leave days. Cheap at the price!

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FF – The Perfect Shot

March 28, 2018 78 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Fatima Fakier Deria.

 

Hidden in his perch, he looked across at the chairs. Empty now, he knew that soon each would be occupied. He settled down to wait.

Hours past until at last he spied his quarry entering the garden. A clandestine meeting; it had cost much to determine the location.

Sighting carefully, he targeted the lead participant. A perfect shot.

A meeting of two Great Families. He smiled grimly as a dozen Kardashians and as many Baldwins took their seats.

He took the shot; then again, again, again.

Heh, he thought. Da tabloids is gonna pay big bucks for dese pics.

 

Pegman – Hunter and Prey

March 26, 2018 37 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw which this week takes us to Yellowstone National Park in America.

Copyright Blake Everson for Google Maps

 

Samuel crept silently through the trees, rifle held loosely in his hands. He had eschewed the traditional brightly-coloured hunter’s jacket for camouflage, blending in perfectly with his surroundings.

Carefully avoiding tourists and park rangers he moved silently through the caldera, at last spying signs of his prey. Footprints, small yet distinct – fresh. He peered through a bush… there! His quarry, resting in a clearing.

Raising the rifle to his eye, he sighted and gently, ever so gently, applied pressure to the trigger. A twang and he suddenly shot off the ground, caught in a net, his shot going hopelessly wide! Another of his quarries ran past and the pair disappeared, laughing, into the trees.

Finally he arrived home, having spent hours sawing through the net.

“Any luck, dear?”

“Grr. No. It’s true what they say. He is smarter than the av-er-age bear.”

 

Sorry, did you say Yellowstone Park? Oops.

 

[Note: I was going to pop a picture at the end but didn’t want to spoil the punchline, so if there’s anyone who didn’t get the reference, you can click here 🙂 ]

 

Last Week’s Snow

March 25, 2018 28 comments

Here are some pictures I took last Sunday. It is very rare here to get snowflakes large enough to show up on camera.

I messed about with the first one in Lightroom. I don’t know what I’m doing but it’s fun pushing the sliders around to see what will happen 🙂

I shrank them all a bit to make the file size smaller.

No processing

Lightroomed!

Categories: Photos Tags: ,

Sharing My World 2018 Week 12

March 25, 2018 32 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

What is your earliest memory?
I have a very vague memory of my brother’s birthday, which was announced on the TV on a little segment called Gus Honeybun’s Magic Birthdays. Gus, a puppet, would do a handstand or whatever was asked of him. I was about four or so at the time I guess.

Which way does the toilet paper roll go? Over or under?
Over! Over, I say. Here, once again, is the original patent for the toilet roll holder. Note, “over”.

Picture via cnet.com, but since it’s a patent I’m assuming it’s public domain

What makes you feel grounded?
Being out for a walk in nature, I suppose. I spend most of my life either at work or lost in TV/vide game/book-induced fantasy. Reality is overrated, I find.

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?
My friends’ oldest, who has a birthday next week, named me as being someone he wants at his birthday tea 🙂

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FF – You Too Can Make a Difference

March 21, 2018 78 comments

Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Björn Rudberg.

 

Copyright Björn Rudberg

 

Nigel glares at the sign. He can’t understand. Others with disabilities pass with no problem. All races, creeds, colours and sexual orientation, all are welcomed with open arms.

Why is he any different? Why is he singled out?

The sign is clear. He turns and walks back the way he has come.

 

Have you been affected by Nigel’s story? Maybe, like Nigel, you were born with a single huge hand, or know someone who was. If so, please take to Twitter, using the hashtag “#iwasbornwithsinglehugehandsyndromeandfeelostracisedasaresult”. If you have any characters left, leave a message.

You too can make a difference.

 

Sharing My World 2018 Week 11

March 18, 2018 26 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

If a distant uncle dies and you were always his favourite and leaves you $50,000 (any currency) in his will, what would you do?
Wow, over the past couple of years I’ve lost an awful lot of distant relatives hereabouts, and they’re all leaving me money!

I’d start by paying off a chunk or my mortgage, I guess. Because 50 grand off a mortgage is a lot more than 50 grand once they recalculate the interest.

What sound or sounds do you love?
Trickling water in a bubbling brook. Also the swish of the waves on the sand. Water-related things.

St. Nectan’s Glen, Cornwall

What’s your middle name? Why?
Francis. Why? That’s the one my parents gave me 🙂

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?
Nothing springs to mind 😦 Just very busy at work.

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