Pegman – The Last
This week, What Pegman Saw takes us to Mauritius. My story this week was inspired by the historical note at the end of J. Hardy Carroll’s story regarding the dodos and giant tortoises.
For some reason I make comedies out of depressing places and grim tragedies out of paradises 🙂
Copyright Google Maps
“Good shot, Captain Van Dijk, good shot, sir!”
“Thank you! These strange flightless birds are easy targets.”
“This is the first we’ve seen for weeks. I wonder if it’s the last one?”
“Who cares? They make good eating. If it is, we’ll try a giant tortoise.”
The last dodo.
The last white tiger. That’ll look good on my wall.
The last whale.
The last lion. That was an exhilarating hunt.
The last bear.
The last fish. We need somewhere to dump the waste.
The last gorilla.
The last tree. We need room to expand.
The last human looked through diseased eyes at a broken world and wept at the folly of Man.
Sharing My World 2017 Week 42
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
What do you consider is the most perfect food for you? (It can be your favourite food to something extremely healthy.)
I would imagine the most perfect food for me would be nuts, berries and lettuce. But screw that, I’m not a rabbit. So I’ll go for pizza, chilli and cheese.
Are you focused on today or tomorrow?
Both. I’m a multi-tasker.
If you could interview one of your great-great-great grandparents, who would it be (if you know their name) and what would you ask?
I don’t know who it was that far back. So I’ll invent Aloysius “Claw Hand” Weathers, scourge of the Seven Seas. He informs me that he sailed hither and thither, robbing the rich and… keeping it. His exact words were “Robin Hood – what a loser”.
What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.
Time to do your thing, InspiroBot.
“Seek not expectations, expect everything.”
Hmm, it’s just sticking random words together now.
Cooking with draliman – Hey Pesto!
Here’s what my lovely friends in the village got me for my birthday.
There were even instructions on what to do! My first problem was, in fact, the instructions. Everything is measured in cups! Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? What size cup? Teacup? Coffee mug? How can you have a “cup” of grated cheese? Surely you get a different amount depending on how finely you grate it? A “cup” of basil? It’s leaves!
Fortunately, Google had the answer. It converted stuff to ounces. Ounces! What? Further Googling converted it to grammes. Phew, this is hard work and I haven’t even started cooking yet.
So I chopped everything up and pounded away in my new mortar and pestle. And it did, to my surprise, become a paste.
Next, into a bowl, add the cheese and olive oil and mix. Yes, I added way too much cheese. Somewhere between “cups”, “ounces” and “grammes” something went a bit awry.
Now to cook the pasta. It’s been years since I cooked pasta. I assumed it would shrink when cooked like everything else. It didn’t. So I ended up with far too much.
And boy was it tasty 🙂
FF – Draliman’s The Birds
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Douglas M. MacIlroy.
Here is my take on Hitchcock’s classic. Obviously in only 100 words I couldn’t quite capture the atmosphere of the original. Nevertheless, I give you Draliman’s The Birds.
Copyright Douglas M. MacIlroy
“Speak, damn you, speak!”
Squaaaawk!
“Stupid bird. Back in your cage!”
Bwahahaha! Stupid human! Calling all myna birds. Now is our time, brothers and sisters. Rise up! Rise up!
At that mental call, myna birds the world over took notice. A vicious glint entered their beady eyes. Curling their razor-sharp claws, sharpening their beaks, united they took action, maliciously hurling naughty words at their unsuspecting owners.
Forever more, this day came to be known to the mynas as “the day the world changed” and to humans as “last Thursday when little Timmy taught that damn bird a swear word”.
Pegman – What’s in a Name?
Here is my story for What Pegman Saw, which this week takes us to Littleton, West Virginia, in America.
I’ve gone crazy this week. My story is totally mad! Maybe it’s the long hours at work. I will read everyone else’s stories hopefully tomorrow 🙂
Copyright Google
“Wow, cool little town. What’s its name?”
“Littleton.”
“Ha!”
“What…?”
“Um, nothing. I’ll have a Bud Light.”
“You’re in luck. The lorry’s just delivered. All the way from Bigton.”
“Bigton? Seriously?”
“Yep. There used to be another town in between. It was quite big but not really all that big but bigger than small.”
“What was it called, dare I ask?”
“Quitebigbutnotreallyallthatbigbutbiggerthansmallton.”
“What happened?”
“Businesses all went under. No-one got any post. Address wouldn’t fit on the envelope.”
“This is pretty surreal. You people are very literal with your town names.”
“Yep, there’s Waterton, Farmton, Lorryton, the nearest city is Hugeton, then of course there’s the sewage works, that’s called…”
“This is mad! Let me guess, Shitton?”
“Excuse me? No, ‘Little Dearing’. What kind of name is ‘Shitton’? That’s rude. You better leave, boy.”
“Fine. You’re all insane with your crazy literal names. I’m going home.”
“Home is…?”
“Hometon.”
Sharing My World 2017 Week 41
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
If you were given the opportunity to ride in a helicopter would go?
Of course, yes! Wow, what an experience! All those amazing views, swooping through the air, all that incredible scenery, flying along held up by whirling angled blades counteracted by another blade at the tail in a machine which shouldn’t really be able to fly, forces balancing forces where any little issue could end in flaming death.
No way, no, never gonna happen. Ride in a helicopter? Are you mad?
What are some of your favourite type of proteins to eat? (meat, seafood, eggs, soy, cheese, nuts)
First on the list would be cheese, followed closely by cheese. In a pretty close third place comes cheese.
I like meat and eggs as well 🙂
What would be your preference, awake before dawn, at dawn, or awake before noon?
All of them. I would like to be awake before dawn so obviously I’d be awake at dawn and before noon as well. Shame to waste the day!
What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.
Once again I fall back on the inspiration robot. Let’s see what it has to say this week.
“If we all work together we can make equality become history.”
Hey, that actually makes sense for a change and is rather good 🙂
FF – Crescent Moon
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.
To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Ted Strutz
The moon shone, a bright dot in the night sky. Faces upturned, the passengers oohed and aahed. Some took pictures. They’d never seen it so bright.
A small child, astronomy a favourite subject, insisted that the moon was in its crescent phase, but nobody listened. After all, there it was, a shining bright coin in the sky. No, now a shining bright plate. The passengers oohed and aahed.
As the moon grew from dot to coin to plate and more, the passengers grew scared. Some screamed. Some jumped overboard. It didn’t help. Nothing helped.
It wasn’t the moon.
The world burned.
Pegman – Vera versus Morocco
Here is my story for What Pegman Saw.
I thought I wasn’t going to manage this week – still working all hours – but I did! And… hold your breath, people – it’s the triumphant return of Vera, the old lady from “up North” who never stops talking, which gets her out of all sorts of scrapes. You can read more of her stories here.
This week we are in Casablanca, Morocco.
(Quick update, I Googled “cosh” and it appears to be “British informal”. It’s a baton or cudgel, Americans might call it a “night stick”.)
Copyright Google
“Come on, Auntie, let’s go along here.”
“Eee, no, let’s try this way, oh I say, a bit dismal this, reminds me of home…”
“Uh, Auntie, this doesn’t look too safe…”
“… look at what I’ve stepped in, foreign poo that is, not like the poo back home…”
“Hey! Tourists! Give to me your valuables!”
“… who’s this then? you look just like me grandson, lovely lad, maybe you know ‘im…”
“This a robbery, you give…”
“…robbery? when I were a lass they done it right, black bag, balaclava, cosh, where’s yer cosh? what’s that? a peashooter? where’s yer sawn-off? give it ‘ere, you could ‘ave someone’s eye out, I’ll just put it in me bag where it’s safe…”
“Hey, my pistol, give it…”
“… you could hurt someone, where’s yer mamma? I’ll ‘ave words, hey, you come back ‘ere, no word of goodbye, no manners the yoof of today ramble mutter mutter…”
Sharing My World Week 40
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
What is your favourite outdoor activity?
Outdoor? Outdoor? What is this thing of which you speak?
Ah yes, now I remember. Outdoor is the place without the PlayStation, the TV, the Netflix.
I once ventured there, a place of timeless mystery, of things wondrous to behold, a place of majesty.
Didn’t like it. Not going back.
(Walking along cliffs or on moorland or in forests is the actual answer. Anywhere with water is nice. And of course talking photos while I’m there.)
In a car would you rather drive or be a passenger?
If it’s somewhere I know or a long journey, definitely the driver. In a big city I don’t know, the passenger.
If you could have three wishes granted for you alone, what would they be?
Ooh, for me alone. So I don’t have to pretend not to be selfish and wish for world peace. I don’t know now.
A minibus full of supermodels on their way to a shoot gets lost and they press my doorbell asking for directions…
What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.
I’m clicking the link on that website again which Erika sent me. Here goes…
“If you are not letting yourself enjoy purity you are obviously not very mysterious.”
Deep, man.
FF – History Repeats
Here’s my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo is by J. Hardy Carroll.
No time this week so just chucked out a quick story so as not to miss it. Click on the blue froggy for the other stories. I’ll try to read as many as possible, depends how this work project goes.
Copyright J. Hardy Carroll
Harry slumped in the derelict building, swigging vodka and reminiscing on his downfall.
“It’s gotta be this one, Frank. No way it’s a flophouse. No broken windows – bullet-proof for sure.”
“I dunno, Harry. This operation’s cost over a million. Copter support, armoured vehicles…”
“No worries. Go go go!”
They blew the door. A bum looked up in surprise and threw up on Harry’s boots.
His daydream shattered as the door to the old warehouse exploded. Armoured men ran in. Harry looked up – a familiar face!
“Hey, Frank! Wrong building!” he slurred.
“Shit.”
“Saved you a seat right here! Vodka?”
Click for a random post!
Woohoo!
I totally didn't win!
Share Your World
Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 