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Posts Tagged ‘Friday Fictioneers’

FF – Ramblings from the Pub Part 1

January 2, 2020 45 comments

Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Rochelle herself!

 

“You know that chap. Lenny. He’s got a telephone.

Like those ones your mam and pap had. Only older. Real old.

An’ it’s special. Connects ‘upstairs’. You know.

Angel HQ.

He’s got their ear.

He could use it to start the Apocalypse. Then end it. Reverse that ‘Climate Change’ whatsit.

Feed the starving. Home the homeless. Help the helpless. Just like that vampire with a soul. Buffy’s ex.

‘Angel’. That’s the one.

And what does he do?

Uses it to order pizza from that place down the street.

Some people don’t deserve a Hotline to Heaven.

Just sayin’.

Mine’s a pint.”

 

FF – Remember

December 26, 2019 29 comments

Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.

Well, a photo of a war memorial wasn’t quite the Santa picture I was hoping for. Not even a snowman 😦

This isn’t a story. I’m not sure what it is. Merry Christmas and whatnot!

Copyright Sandra Crook

 

For King and Country!

Remember.

For freedom!

Remember.

For the security of our country!

Remember.

For the betterment of Mankind!

Worthwhile causes all.

But always remember.

What it cost.

 

FF – Accident at the Gazebo

December 18, 2019 49 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson. Click the frog and whatnot.

Copyright Dale Rogerson

 

“Um, darling?”

“Yes, my dearest?”

“I’m… I’m afraid I’ve had a small accident.”

“Accident, my pumpkin? What, pray tell?”

“Your… your… I’ve… I’ve split icing sugar on your gazebo model…”

“MY GAZEBO MODEL? Oh, why, God, why… wait, my little mince pie. It’s Christmas after all! Look, snow on the gazebo!”

“Oh, darling, yes! How pretty!”

“Yes, my precious ice cream sundae! Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, my darling! I love you!”

“I love you too!”

Smooch smooch slobber etc…

Afterwards…

“Darling, is now a good time to report on the horrible ‘forest fire’ which yesterday consumed your life’s-work London recreation…?”

 

FF – Ooh, Aah!

December 11, 2019 57 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Mikhael Sublett.

Well, I just hit “publish” instead of “preview”… bear with me… 🙂

Okay, I think I’m there.

 

Copyright Mikhael Sublett

 

“Yes! Will you look at that!”

“Perfect. At last, a combined kitchen/diner. Seems weird, bashing down a wall in the house but this is gonna look great for when Billy and Sarah come round for dinner. They’ll ooh and aah!”

“Yep! What do the instructions say next?”

“Let’s see… prepare the areasmash wall with sledgehammer… turn the page, ah, yes… but first, check the wall is not load-bearing. What’s that, then?”

KerrrrrrASH! Cough cough splutter


Ding dong!

“Hi Billy, Sarah, great to see you! Please, come through to our ultra-modern state of the art open-air kitchen diner…”

“Ooh!”

“Aah!”

 

FF – All Aboard!

December 4, 2019 72 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Fatima Fakier Deria.

Click on the froggy for more stories, and to join in!

 

Giggling, laughing, they climbed aboard, drinks in hand. Plenty more inside, and snacks too. Graduating High School, their whole lives ahead of them. Time for a party.

Little did they know, they’d booked the…

 

!!!Party Bus To Hell!!!

 

Starring

Jessica Lemons as “Chirpy Cheerleader”
Chuck Mason as “Popular Moronic Jock”
and introducing
Frankie Peanuts as “Underappreciated Nerd”

 

–This is a Ride Not to be Missed–

 

In cinemas now! Board the !!!Party Bus To Hell!!!if you dare!

 

(Rated 18, some bad language, mild nudity, massive gratuitous violence, traumatic amputations, decapitations, arterial spurting, that sort of thing)

 

FF – Roundabout the Place

November 27, 2019 56 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.

Copyright C.E. Ayr

 

Excerpt from Little Chipping Police official Twitter account

09:50 Eagle-eyed Sergeant Nutbones spots online image – arrow pointing wrong way on roundabout, well done Sarge! #verydangerousroundabout #niceonesarge

10:27 Arrest warrant issued for city planner Jean-Pierre Duchamp #verydangerousroundabout #werecomingforyou

13:14 Duchamp located in France! International arrest warrant issued #verydangerousroundabout #fugitive

13:21 Investigation cost £50k so far but we are relentless! #verydangerousroundabout #noescapefromthelaw #gettingexpensive

15:45 Apparently roundabout is in France not in Little Chipping so arrow correct, arrest warrant cancelled #oops #ourbad #notourjurisdictionanyway

16:30 It is with heavy heart that we announce the early retirement of Sergeant Nutbones with immediate effect #verysad #stupidmoron #roundaboutgate

 

FF – Ancient Secret

November 20, 2019 60 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J. Hardy Carroll.

Copyright J. Hardy Carroll

 

Lost to the ages, three men set out to re-discover… The Secret.

 

“Brock, this is it, it must be! An ancient storage facility… deep underground… it all fits!”

“Careful, Chad, remember what the boss said about booby traps.”

“Nonsense! The Colonel wasn’t so clever. I’m opening…”

KABLOOIE!

“What was that? Where’s Chad?”

“Um… over there. And over there. And up there. He got impatient. You might say he lost his head. Get it? Hahaha!”

“…”

“Too soon?”

“Dammit! The recipe! The Colonel’s special recipe! Blown to bits! Nooooo!”

 

And so, lost forever, chicken was never quite as finger-lickin’ good again.