FF – Allergies

May 5, 2022 38 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Na’ama Yehuda.

Copyright Na’ama Yehuda

Agent 9 took a deep breath and crept closer, picking his way through the flower beds. His target was in sight, a small, unassuming man – no-one would suspect what he carried in the briefcase at his side.

Agent 9 placed a finger beneath his nose, closed his eyes and proceeded. Close, so close… he could almost touch the man now. He held his breath a moment, concentrating, and released… better. He reached out towards the man… closer… closer…

aaaaaCHOOOOO!

The man ran, taking his suitcase nuke with him, ready for sale to the highest bidder.

Hay fever’s a bitch.

Sharing My World 25-04-2022

May 1, 2022 18 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. This is the “Earth Month” edition.

In your opinion, how are we affecting our planet?
Well, we’re making a bit of a mess of it. More of a “reality” thing rather than “my opinion”.


What solutions would you offer to stem the multiple problems we face vis a vis the destruction of our planet home?
Wait until all the humans have either poisoned themselves or jumped into rockets and left and then the Earth will fix itself.


Do you think it’s already too late and we could just do exactly as we’re doing now and things would turn out the very same?
I doubt it’s too late though things may change planet-wide. We do have to change things, though.


Do you participate in things like “Arbor Day” (a U.S. Holiday dedicated to planting new trees) or Earth Day or Earth Month?
No.


Is any of it important in the ‘Big Picture’?
No, not in the really big picture. One tiny planet in an unimaginably huge universe? No-one’s going to notice.

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Sharing My World 18-04-2022

April 24, 2022 15 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

In your opinion, what do you buy way more of than most people?
I can’t think of anything I buy more of than anyone else. Maybe fizzy pop. I drink a lot of fizzy pop.

Which workers have the worst jobs?
The jobs done by any workers who hate their jobs. Otherwise, no matter what it is, it’s a good job!

Opinion. John Cage is a composer who composed a piece named 4’33” for any instrument. The performance are instructed not to play their instrument for four minutes and thirty-three seconds. Is this music or is this art? A combination of the two? Neither, it’s stupid. Your opinion?
It’s a very clever idea, so kudos for that. As far as “music or art”, it’s definitely not music. It may well be art – have you seen the sort of stuff that’s out there these days? This definitely isn’t the craziest.

How good are you at drawing?
I’m awesome, I’m like Turner or something. Take a look at this personified version of a squirrel for example. Work of art or what? Should be in the Louvre. But I never heard back from them.

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FF – The Last

April 21, 2022 39 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Carole Erdman-Grant.

Copyright Carole Erdman-Grant

He’d seen places like this everywhere. After the bombs fell they’d become havens for the depraved, daubed with gang signs making clear their purpose.

He saw no-one, however. He hadn’t for over a year. Violence, starvation and radiation had taken the world.

Many animals had survived the radiation-induced mutations, but he was the last human.

“I am the last! I am the final living… ugh.

He didn’t even see the huge, mutated claw which took him. The last human he may have been, but there are worse things out there now than humans.

Welcome to the Age of the Mutant.

Sharing My World 11-04-2022

April 17, 2022 18 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World, which this week is co-hosted by Tena.

Do You Prefer Salty Foods or Sweet Foods?
It depends on the time of day and what I’m in the mood for. Sometimes I really, really want a chocolate bar. I think that’s my body’s way of telling me my blood sugar is low. So I have to listen to it, don’t I? At the moment it’s telling my that only Easter eggs will do.

Would you rather be in a place where it is excessively hot or excessively cold?
Well, neither, really. I not only live in a temperate zone country, but in a temperate part of that country!

Generally I would say “cold” as it’s always possible to put on more clothes and switch on the heating, but if it was going to be one or the other all the time, I would go for hot and just get used to it. I generally struggle above 25 degrees but I’m sure I would grow to love it 🙂

Favourite Mode of long distance travel (Bus, Plane, Train, Automobile, or other).
My car. I like the autonomy, stopping where and when I want, the music I want, the temperature I want.

What was your favourite holiday growing up?
So a choice between Christmas and Easter… definitely Christmas, of course! Now I’m all grown up, I still like Christmas but it is an awful lot of hassle and money.

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Sharing My World 04-04-2022

April 10, 2022 14 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Are you more productive at night or in the morning? Do you think it’s possible to change and get used to another schedule?
I’m definitely more productive in the morning. I like to get up early and get stuff done, and I naturally wake up early. I expect even I could change given time, though (if I had to).

What’s the biggest vehicle you’ve driven? If you don’t drive, what’s the biggest vehicle you’ve ridden in?
I haven’t driven anything very big. Just a high-roofed Ford Transit van which I used to drive my stuff back home after university. That was 250 miles each way. Three seconds after leaving I nearly scraped the neighbour’s car as I forgot to take the extra length into account when I left the parking spot, so I won’t be driving a lorry any time soon.

What songs would be played on a loop in hell?
Screeching opera. I bet even opera lovers would go crazy after hearing someone hit the high notes constantly for eternity.

What does it mean to be a person? What constitutes “personhood?”
A living human being. Whereas “personhood” is a personal head covering which keeps the rain off.

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FF – Roses

April 7, 2022 38 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by David Stewart.

Copyright David Stewart

Smiling ruefully, he realised he’d made two lunches again. Sometimes he thought he could hear her. Any little noise in the house, in the garden. Like she was still there.

Sometimes he forgot she was gone.

She had been a good wife. She kept the house well. If only she hadn’t been such a nag. Do this, do that, you’re lazy, lazy!

It was enough to drive a man to murder.

Shrugging, he shuffled over to the back window. His rose bushes were flourishing. Ironically, though she hadn’t been much of a gardener in life, his wife made fantastic fertiliser.

Sharing My World 28-03-2022

April 3, 2022 22 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What fictional family would you like to be part of? (think TV shows, cartoon or books or some fictional family that you admire)
Yikes, fictional families are all a bit screwed up one way or another. Otherwise they’d be too boring for TV. So I’ll stick with my own, I think.

Which band or artist would you like to play at your funeral or memorial service? (the artist can have passed on too)
Maybe the song “Fire” by “The Crazy World of Arthur Brown” might be amusing as I slide into the oven.

Preference. Popcorn, M&Ms or other. Choose something you love snacking on.
I don’t really snack. If I eat between meals it’s usually something like ice cream while sitting out in the sun. Otherwise it would be deli stuff – cheese, cocktail sausages, cured meat etc. That’s more of a meal, though!

If you could be any supernatural (fantasy) character, what would you be? (Think Elves, fairies, dragons or whatever)
I reckon an elf. But not some namby-pamby kiddie-style elf. A cool elf who can do magic and shift realms and whatnot.

FF – Stay Vigilant

March 30, 2022 58 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

According to MS Word, “This language may be offensive to your reader.” You have been warned 😮

Copyright Roger Bultot

Shoes. Comfortable. Keep your feet warm. Take you where you need to go.

But what if they don’t? Occasionally, you get a well dodgy pair. They pull you into a pub, a gambling shop. They force you to kick some poor unsuspecting mug in the nuts.

Some shoes can be right proper bastards.

And what do you do then? You hang them. Hang them by the laces until they be dead.

It may seem harsh, but it’s the only way.

Keep your wits about you. Are any of your shoes right proper bastards? If so, act now.

Stay vigilant. Stay safe.

Sharing My World 21-03-2022

March 27, 2022 32 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What very common thing have you never done?
I’m sure if someone mentioned something I would realise I haven’t done it, but I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. I’m much better remembering things I have done rather than things I haven’t 😦

Are we morally obligated to be charitable, if we have the means to?
No. I don’t feel morally obliged to do anything. People should do what feels right to them.

What is the most amazing fact you know?
I’m really useless at remembering things like “amazing facts”. I’d be the most useless member of the pub quiz team.

What’s your favourite sandwich and why?
Anything with cheese. Almost every sandwich I make has cheese involved. Sausage, fried egg and cheese with hot sauce is pretty good.

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