Sharing My World 05-04-2021

April 11, 2021 27 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do you think psychic abilities exist?
Do I think psychic abilities exist? I know what you think about it. How?

Because I know what you’re thinking… 😮

How would you describe peanut butter to someone who didn’t know what it was?
Some sort of brown muck. I’ve never risked it so I can’t really comment on the taste. Except to say that I don’t like peanuts so potentially I wouldn’t like it.

Why does an octopus squirt ink?
Who knows why octopuses do anything. They’re a right old mystery and no mistake. Best just to let them get on with it.

Who are two of today’s greatest entertainers in your opinion? (can be actors, musicians, singers etc)
Ooh, those funny people. The double act. You know the ones. With that joke they do. About that thing. You know. That funny thing.

Those two.

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FF – Rated PG

April 7, 2021 63 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Brenda Cox.

Copyright Brenda Cox

Whoooooooshhh!

“We’re here!”

“Why do portals always seem to spit people out in anonymous deserted alleys with foreign writing?”

“It is the way of things. Look, there they are! Take cover!”

Rat-a-tat-a-tat! Bang! Whizz! Pee-ow! Bang! Bang! Rat-a-tat! Hail of bullets! Ka-blam! Rat-a-tat!

“They’re not very good shots, are they?”

“No. They’ve destroyed everything except us. Seems unlikely. Wait a minute…”

“What?”

“Just checking. Ah. I suspected as much.”

“What?”

“We’re rated ‘PG’.”

“’PG’? Oh, man.”

“Yeah. If I can’t grin evilly while snapping someone’s neck I’m not interested.”

“Me neither. I want blood and gore. Let’s portal home.”

“Yep.”

Whoooooooshhh!

Sharing My World 29-03-2021

April 4, 2021 18 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What is knowledge?
Stuff you know. I would say.

How do you define consciousness (self awareness)?
I define it as really dangerous. ‘Cos, like, when Skynet became self-aware it, like, created Terminators and destroyed the world. So it’s like, a really bad thing, innit.

Is it possible to prove that other people besides yourself have consciousness?
Other people? Are there other people? Or just figments of my imagination? Is this all just a dream? Am I in an alien zoo surrounded by human-like automatons?

Dum dum DUMMMMM.

Would you be able to tell if time had been altered in some way?
Yeah, a whole hour disappeared last week. It was freaky. But we have lighter evenings now.

How could I tell? Every clock in the house automatically told the same time, except the one on the cooker which was an hour behind.

Do you like potato chips (they’re called ‘crisps’ in Europe I believe)?
Crisps certainly have their place. I often munch some along with my lunchtime cheese roll. A packet lasts three lunchtimes. I don’t like to eat too many. Sometimes I treat myself to some quality crisps, though.

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FF – Tales from the Tray

March 31, 2021 62 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jennifer Pendergast.

Bit cooler out here.

Woof.

Miaow.

Look at you with your baubles. How crass.

You’re one to talk with that huge green scarf.

Woof.

Why am I upside down?

Miaow.

Do I look a bit burned around the edges?

You look fine, dear.

LOOK YE ALL! A HAND COMETH!

Aaaahhhh, a haaaand

JEFF IS CHOSEN!

Aaaahhhh, he is the Chosen One

(munch munch yum munch)

JEFF HAS GONE ABOVE. HE HAS ASCENDED. HE IS WITH THE GODS.

With the Godssssss

(munch munch buuurp aaaahhh, great cookies, dear!)

I hope I’m next to be blessed.

Me too.

Woof.

Miaow.

Sharing My World 22-03-2021

March 28, 2021 22 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

If not now, then when?
Monday morning, about 11:07. Or possibly the week after. I haven’t decided.

Can you describe your life in a six-word sentence?
No. Um. More words. Hatstand. Banana.

Do you remember that thing people used to say, about how you swallow eight spiders a year while you sleep? It’s not true, but do you think you’ve ever swallowed any? What bug do you think you’ve eaten the most of by accident?
Urk. Gross. There are many things where I feel I’m better off not knowing, and in fact not even thinking about. And this is one of them.

What’s the best approach to resolving conflict?
First, get right up in their face and yell at them, big time. If that doesn’t work, shiv them in the kidneys.

No, wait, that can’t be the correct answer for a public forum.

You attempt to defuse the situation by calmly talking to both sides, attempting to make them see each other’s point of view. If that doesn’t work, then and only then, shiv them in the kidneys.

Gratitude
I had my first COVID jab on Monday. Yay!

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FF – The Beacon

March 24, 2021 62 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

Copyright Dale Rogerson

The Beacon pulsed, on… off… on… off… it was almost hypnotic.

Almost.

For some it was. Completely. Irresistibly.

As he watched, another unfortunate stumbled towards the Beacon, touching it, exploding into bright white ash. The area around the Beacon was knee deep.

Ash. Dead people.

One day it would be his turn.

Population control, they called it. One day you’d hear the call. Then you’d be gone. Boom. Ash.

He was all for population control. Too many people. Too few resources.

A policy of “free condoms for all” seemed less extreme than blasting people to atoms.

But what did he know?

Sharing My World 15-03-2021

March 21, 2021 15 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

How well do you know your next-door neighbours? Do you like them?
We exchange pleasantries now and then but I don’t really know them.

Do you have a full length mirror?
Yes, it’s attached to the wardrobe. Everybody needs a good mirror to admire themselves in 😉

Do you shave every day or do you like the ‘stubble’ look, or a beard?
I shave every day. I don’t want to end up like a hippy. Or ZZ Top 🙂

How many items of clothing are in your bedroom (or closet) and not hung up?
Loads and loads. There’s some coats and trousers on the chair. Then there’s any number of jeans and jumpers on shelves in the wardrobe. Yes, the wardrobe with the mirror on it. It’s very popular today!

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FF – The Tree

March 17, 2021 56 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Liz Young.

Copyright Liz Young

In a forest of greens and browns, The Tree stood proud. Grey, sickly, it had abided long centuries. Many were the theories.

Had it died long since, but not yet crumbled to dust?

Could it be that dark Magicks flourished within the ground, poisoning its roots? If one were to venture too close, might the dark spells cause one’s head to explode?

Was the tree perhaps cursed, and to linger in its vicinity might cause one’s private unmentionables to wither and die?

One thing we know for sure, and one thing only.

It makes for a bloody good photo.

Sharing My World 08-03-2021

March 14, 2021 22 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

If you could throw any kind of party, what would it be for? (Covid considerations are suspended for this question)
There are one or two political parties I wouldn’t mind throwing far, far away from time to time.

Is a picture worth a thousand words? Elaborate.
Wow, this sounds like an exam question, with that word “elaborate” at the end.

That depends on the picture and the words. A picture allows us to make up our own words, rather than read someone else’s…

Where IS Waldo?
He’s supposed to be in the picture but I can never find him. I suspect he has retired and no longer appears in person. While everyone is getting more and more frustrated trying to find him, he’s on a beach somewhere sipping piña coladas with a cartoon character half his age.

What’s the best part of waking up?
Do we wake up? Or are our dreams the reality? Are our waking hours someone else’s dream?

Dum Dum DUMMMMMMM…

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FF – Extinction Level Event!

March 10, 2021 60 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr and brought to mind a scene near the end of the film “Deep Impact”.

Copyright C.E. Ayr

So quiet, so peaceful, yet moments from the promised meteor strike. He hadn’t watched the whole news story. He’d seen the Hollywood films.

This was the end.

He’d decided to sit and wait for the tsunami, though he’d also taken a strong neurotoxin. He didn’t want to be left, smashed yet alive, the sole survivor. Better to be sure.

He saw a streak of light. A splash. A small wave washed over his feet.

Hmm. Not what he was expecting. Quite a small meteor, then.

In many ways (he pondered as he dropped dead), he shouldn’t have taken the poison.