FF – The Chimps of Bristol
Here is my rather rushed story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jilly Funell.
I had to chop about a bazillion words out of this 😦

Copyright Jilly Funell
It is said that British rule in Gibraltar will fall if ever the monkeys leave, however…
When the structure appeared (overnight, just outside Bristol), there was much speculation. Finally, the world’s greatest minds proclaimed it a Monolith (after a beer-fuelled viewing of “2001 A Space Odyssey”) and, remembering the film, imported chimpanzees to see what might happen.
These enthusiastic chimps proceeded to use it as a climbing frame and flourished – fortunately for Mankind, for their antics disrupted the attack signal emanating space-wards from this giant antenna.
… in reality, Mankind’s rule over Earth will fall if ever the chimps leave Bristol.
Flower of the Day
I thought I’d contribute to the very popular Flower of the Day. I do hope I haven’t misunderstood…

Isn’t it beautiful? Next week – self-raising!
FF – All Becomes Clear
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. She also provided the photo this week.

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Intimate residence in secluded location. Set at a novel angle with authentic Medieval windows, this period property features original heating and plumbing. With fully ventilated bathroom facilities and a unique open plan design, this period property must be seen to be believed!
[Due to recent clarity laws we are legally bound to translate, see below]
Tiny, middle of nowhere. Foundations collapsing, glass-less slits for windows, this old dump has a fire pit for heat and no plumbing whatsoever. Bathe in the river and crap behind a tree, one single largely useless room, it’s unbelievable we’re trying to sell this disaster!
FF – Mr Clumsy and the Second Apocalypse
Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.
My story this week once again includes “sound effects” (some imagination required)!

Copyright Sandra Crook
It’s Andy “Accident-Prone” Andrews’ first day at the Museum of Pre-Apocalypse Earth…
“Oops, I’m sure that wasn’t valuable… moving on, here we see the last surviving example of a ‘wooden’ table. One sec, someone’s left a bunch of crap on it…”
Sweep, crash, tinkle
“That’s better. This so-called ‘wood’ was very solid…”
Knock knock
“… and as I demonstrate with this flame thrower, completely resistant to…”
Whoomp!
“…oops, um, all part of the show, folks, um, over here we see the last surviving ‘atomic bomb’. As you can see if I hit it with this sledgehammer, it’s completely resistant to…”
WHOOOOOOOOMP!
FF – What a Stroke of Luck!
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Priorhouse.
My story this week relies on a quite horrible play on words. Sorry, but it cracked me up 🙂

Copyright Priorhouse
“All delivered, Conference Room B.”
“What? B? Our targets are in A!”
“Who’s in B then?”
“The Annual Conference of the Nuns of St Fortune. You delivered nerve toxin coffees to nuns!”
“Do you go to hell for accidentally massacring nuns?”
“I don’t wanna go to hell! We’d better go look.”
In Conference Room B…
“Eh? They’re all fine! What does it say on the packet?”
“Um… Lethal, no antidote, see overleaf for immunity information.”
“So what’s the immunity information?”
“I already checked, there isn’t any. ‘Persons Immune: Nun’. Wow, I thought that was a typo.”
“What a stroke of luck!”















