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Kidz in Luv
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jean L. Hays.
I have attempted to recreate the language of the “youff of today”. Unfortunately I’m (ahem ahem) years too old, and when I was a kid, kids didn’t talk like this. Maybe they still don’t!
(I’ve made a reference in my story – it is said that when the apes leave the Rock of Gibraltar, so will the British, so it implies the end of something.)
To read this week’s other contributions, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Jean L. Hays
“Yo, bitches, get gone, I need ta talk ta ma girl!”
All but one of the girls gave her a surly look and moved away.
“So, girl, wuzzup? What dis ‘bout yo man Jazz?”
“Me ‘n Jazz still good, yo. Why, what ya heard?”
“Seen, girl. Seen. I seen Jazz wiv his old squeeze, and dey look happy.”
“No way! Me ‘n Jazz is solid! Solid like da Rock o’ Gibraltar, ya dig me?”
“Da monkeys is leavin’ da Rock. You got ya head in da sand, girl.” She walked away, shaking her head. “Head in da sand.”
MFTS – Cruel and Unusual
Here is my story for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. The supplied opening sentence is in bold in my story, and to read this week’s other contributions, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright B. W. Beacham
The Mayor and the town manager waved as their next victim approached.
But Agent Simon Wilkins had come prepared. He’d seen what had happened to the others who’d received an invitation. They wandered around town with dead eyes, occasionally clutching their heads screaming, “No more, please, no more!” before slipping once more into a listless half-dead state.
Simon adjusted his body armour. At the small of his back was a handgun. He had antidotes to every mind and mood-altering chemical known. He’d get to the bottom of this.
“Come in, dear boy, come in!” said the mayor jovially. Simon followed the mayor into his study where the town manager was waiting.
“Please, sit down,” said the mayor. Simon steeled himself, ready for action as the manager dimmed the lights.
As night fell, Simon lurched out of the house. Tears trickled from dead eyes as he joined the other townspeople in living death. Not even his Special Forces training had prepared him for five hours of the mayor’s holiday snap slide-show, with running commentary.
A New World
Here is my contribution to this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle.
To read the other contributions, click on the blue froggy. This week’s photo was contributed by Kent Bonham.
Copyright Kent Bonham
Trak. Surveillance for the paranoid age. Keep Track on Your World with TRAK!
Husbands watching wives. Wives watching husbands. Lovers, friends. Employees can’t take a leak without employers knowing. Employers, in their turn, watched by their staff.
Everyone’s watching everyone else. And Trak gets richer. They have no competition. Trak shut them down. Because Trak was watching them.
But who watches the watchers? Trak.
Trak watches everyone. The new World Order.
So come on in and buy a package. It’s your turn to watch your loved ones twenty-four seven.
Because you know they’re watching you.
MFTS – Chad and Brad Make a Film (Almost)
Here is my contribution to Mondays Finish the Story, hosted by Barbara Beacham. We get a photo, an opening sentence and 150ish words. Yes, Chad and Brad are back!
The opening sentence is in bold, and to read the other contributions, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright BW Beacham
“Hey boys, how ’bout y’all makin’ yer Ma some wind chimes?”
With those words she raises the vicious stick threateningly. Terrified, the exhausted boys crawl back to their workspaces in the tiny, sealed room and begin to build the wind charms with trembling fingers…
“Wait, wind chime sweat shops?” Chad grabbed Brad’s smoke and sniffed it suspiciously.
“Yeah, dude!” said Brad, grabbing his weed back and puffing furiously. “They’re rife! We have to make this film to raise public awareness!”
“There’s no such thing,” said Chad. “How about ‘Save the Whales’?”
“Why would we want to save Wales?” asked Brad.
“Dude,” said Chad sadly, puffing away furiously.
“‘Dream Catcher Sweats Shops – the Untold Story’?” tried Brad. Chad shook his head. Brad took another drag. Chad went to the “special” cupboard to fetch the bong.
“That’s it!” cried Brad. “Exposé – The Horrors of the Bong Sweat…”
“NO!” said Chad. “Dude, seriously. Let’s just watch a film instead.”
“Bill and Ted?” asked Brad hopefully.
“Party on dudes!” they chorused happily.
Literary Lion – Homonyms
I have finally got round to my Literary Lion post for this week, with only two days to go. This is hosted by Laura at I Smith Words and involves a word prompt, supplied by our friend the Literary Lion, and up to 400 words.
This week’s prompt is “morning”, and I have written a sort of inner monologue and jumped around a bit like I imagine his thoughts might in this situation. I have used a picture of the sun coming up at my workplace to illustrate “morning”. It doesn’t really have anything to do with my story :-).
Morning. Time to get my shit together.
Mourning. Hah, homonyms. Mourning in the morning.
Patent leather shoes, freshly-pressed trousers, white shirt with black tie. Top it all off with black jacket. Not cheap this suit. Hope they appreciate it. The other mourners.
Seems weird going without the wife. Well, she’ll be there I suppose. In the coffin. But it’s not really the same.
Never even knew what hit her. Never even saw it coming.
I can hear them now. Downstairs. Congregating, ready to head out. To the funeral.
Ready for mourning in the morning. Hee hee! Whoa, gotta get my shit together. Hysterical gigging won’t do. Won’t do at all.
This suit really suits me. Another one! I’m on fire today! Okay, gotta concentrate.
Shoot. Shoot. Cameras and guns. Is that a homonym? Or is it essentially the same word, different context?
So much I never told her. I used to run with some pretty dodgy people. She never even knew. One of them was the bloke I hired to shoot the wedding photos. Another was the bloke I hired to shoot my wife in the head after I found out she was sleeping around.
She shouldn’t have done that.
Okay, game face on, look sad, here goes…
What was that again…?
So here’s the thing. My head’s been all over the place today and yesterday evening. No concentration or motivation.
I’ve been reading and clicking “like” on people’s FF stories but not commenting – apologies to you guys for that. I had no idea what to write for this week’s Friday Fictioneers (hosted as always by the talented Rochelle). I decided to give it a miss.
Then I wrote a story based around not having a story. I’ve seen people do that from time to time. It would be a shame to miss a week, I thought. So here it is :-(.
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Did you ever have an idea, a great idea, so awesomely fantastic that more than being just a light bulb moment, it was a whole chandelier full of light bulbs?
And did you ever think to yourself, “Well, I’m quite tired after all that thinking, so I’ll sleep on it”?
And did you ever wake up next morning knowing that you’d had an amazing idea, like it was some new propulsion system or the cure for the all world’s ills, but that’s all you remember?
Like, I’m sure I had a great chandelier-based story in mind last night. Awesome, it was. You’ll have to use your imagination.
MFTS: Reboot – Earth 2.0
Here is my contribution to Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. We get a photo and an opening sentence (which is in bold in my story). Then we have 150 words or so to finish the story. The opening sentence this week was contributed by Eric Wickland of Momus News.
Click on the blue froggy for this week’s other contributions.
Copyright B.W. Beacham
At first, it looked like an ordinary marble, but it was far from it.
Merrax opened the protective covering to reveal a small blue and green globe. He handed it to the planetary mechanic (No Planet Too Small – Call Now!).
“Hmm, yes, funny smell coming from this,” said the mechanic.
Merrax nodded. “I popped some two-legged creatures on there for a science project and now it smells real bad.”
“Yep,” said the mechanic knowingly. “They’ve stunk the place up. Gases, oils, chemicals… expensive to fix.” His eyes gleamed.
“Isn’t there a cheap option?” asked Merrax. His mum was going to be so mad.
“Well,” said the mechanic. “We could reboot the whole… “
“Earth,” said Merrax.
“Whatever. Start anew. Wipe it all off. Much cheaper.”
Merrax had a think. “We’ll do that,” he decided.
“No worries.” The mechanic popped Earth in a machine and pressed a button. If you listened carefully, you could hear the screams of the dying emanating from the little globe.
“There you go, just like new!” said the mechanic. “Factory reset. Earth 2.0!”
Literary Lion – In the Dark of the Night
This week Literary Lion has offered up the words “story in the woods” for our prompt. This challenge is hosted by Laura at “I Smith Words” and allows up to 400 words.
Here is my dark and chilling “story in the woods”! Well, okay, it’s a bit silly (again).
Copyright me
In the Dark of the Night
If you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise…
“Are you rolling, Jeff? Good. We’re here in the depths of Deacon Woods. Tonight’s a very special night. A secret gathering, we’ve heard. We’re going to try to film it. Follow me Jeff, quietly!”
If you go down to the woods today, you’d better go in disguise!
“There they are, just up ahead! No-one’s ever got this close before. This is… this is amazing! Are you getting this, Jeff? I see campfires, trestle tables, lots of tables. And snacks. Lots of snacks. Buns, honey, this is incredible! Let’s get a bit closer, Jeff. Oh, don’t be such a fraidy cat! Yes, I know we don’t look like Teddy Bears, it’ll be okay.”
For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain, because…
“I think they’re all here. Every single last one of them! Eating, having fun, this is fantastic television! Keep filming, Jeff. There’s a Pulitzer in this! I think… wait, a couple of them are looking this way. They’ve seen us!”
…today’s the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic.
“They’re stopping their picnic, coming towards us. Jeff, we need to move, now! We need to outrun them [puff puff] they look really angry round this next bend, Jeff, we’ll hide in the trees what the hell, what was that? Throwing stars? They’re Teddy Bears for God’s sake! Keep running Jeff, oh Hell, Jeff, your leg, oh God oh God, give me the camera, I’m sorry, I’ll come back for you I think I can escape… oh no, no no no, they’re all around me, dressed all in black, this is incredible, scary, what will they do? one of the Teddy Bears is approaching me…”
“I WILL TAKE THE CAMERA, HUMAN, IF YOU PLEASE. YOUR ADVENTURE IS AT AN END. AS IS YOUR LIFE.”
“Damn you, you cute furry murderous Teddy Bear ninja bastards.”
Diner of DOOM
It’s Friday Fictioneers time again, hosted by Rochelle, and this week the photo was contributed by Raina Ng. We get around 100 words to write about a picture, and you can read this week’s other stories by clicking on the blue froggy.
Be afraid. Be very afraid, as I present to you “The Diner of DOOM”.
Copyright Raina Ng
Kat and Jed exchanged anxious glances as they hid behind the diner’s counter. Outside the noise was getting worse – banging on the door and windows, groaning, breaking glass.
“They’re still out there. What are we going to do?” asked Kat, trembling.
“What can we do? Call someone? Who’s going to come? We’re on our own.”
“Barricade the doors,” said Kat. “If they get in here… it’ll be carnage.”
“We could distract them. Throw them some burgers.”
“Urgh! The thought of watching them mindlessly rip into the meat…” shuddered Kat. “Animals!”
“Well,” said Jed, “it was your idea to do a Student Happy Hour.”
MFTS – A Stoner’s Soul
It’s Mondays Finish the Story time, hosted by Barbara Beacham. This is the one where we get a photo and an opening sentence.
This is the final part of “The Stoner Trilogy”. If you remember, in “The Highest Spirits“, Chad and Brad lost their souls, and in “Fool Me Twice” they were conned into a “Trial” by the lead spirit, Basil.
This was the best I could do, given the number of words and while attempting to make each story reasonably standalone. Here is the cast of characters:
Chad – a stoner
Brad – another stoner
Basil – a cunning head spirit
and introducing special guest star ZEUS as ZEUS, a powerful and currently quite irritated god.
The opening sentence is in bold in my story, and other contributions may be found by clicking the blue froggy.
Copyright B.W. Beacham
ZEUS was not having a good day and he made sure everyone knew it.
First his “soldiers” were too wide for his boiled eggs, now the spirits of Miners Hill had taken it upon themselves to capture souls!
The sky lit up as if on fire as ZEUS vented his rage. Spirit Chad looked suspiciously at his insubstantial joint.
“Thunder and lightning for the Trial, dude,” explained Spirit Brad.
“Heavy,” said Chad. Rain began to fall, extinguishing his joint. His face fell.
“BASIL!” screamed ZEUS to the lead spirit. “STEALING SOULS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION?”
“Um,” stuttered Basil. “Um…”
ZEUS fired more lightning which narrowly missed Chad, clipping and reigniting his joint.
“Epic!” said Chad, taking a puff.
“RETURN THEIR SOULS AT ONCE!”
With a wave of Basil’s hand, it was done.
“This calls for a celebration!” said Brad, reaching into his underpants for his special hidden stash.
Against all odds Chad and Brad lived to a ripe old age. And although our stoners could remember almost none of it, they both agreed (on their smoke-shrouded death bed) that they’d had a stonkingly Epic Time.
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