MFTS – Accept No Substitutions!

September 14, 2015 55 comments

Here is my little story for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. The supplied sentence is in bold in my story. To read this week’s other contributions, click on the little blue froggy!

Copyright Barbara Beacham

Copyright Barbara W. Beacham

 

From her small balcony, the witch watched the world go by.

She had no choice, actually. And the world went by really really fast. In fact, mostly it was just a blur. She could make out details, sometimes. When she’d cast the spell, people had clippity-clopped by on horses. Now they shot past in horse-less chariots!

It was that “time in a bottle” spell. Maybe she shouldn’t have substituted grapes for eye of newt? But eye of newt was awfully expensive, and grapes looked, well, roughly similar. She didn’t think the Goddess would notice, She was always so busy. And now the witch was the one trapped in time, her house the bottle.

Today, at last, the reversal spell was ready! She raised her hands, chanted… and with a thunderclap four hundred years caught up with her all at once.

It was weeks before someone found the little pile of dust where the witch used to be. Evidently, substituting cheap cotton for expensive silk in the “protection” element of the reversal spell was a no-no.

 

Well, that was easy

September 13, 2015 19 comments

Yes, I’m back. Windows 10 actually installed without a hitch. Yay!

Here we go!

Here we go!

That's good to know

That’s good to know. Um, what apps?

How nice!

How nice!

That's a relief. If this hadn't have worked I would have been unamused.

That’s a relief. If this hadn’t have worked I would have been unamused.

And it's all good in the hood

And it’s all good in the hood

 

Total time to upgrade – around 1 and a half hours (including 2.6GB Windows 10 download). Yay!

 

Sharing My World 2015 Week 36

September 13, 2015 26 comments

Here’s my regular Share Your World post, hosted as ever by Cee over at her newly redesigned blog, Cee’s Photography. Thanks for hosting, Cee!

share-your-world2

If you were a pen, what type, style and colour would you be?
A pen? Hmm. I’ve imagined being a multi-billionaire, a top footie player, an international playboy, but never a pen. Black ink. Nothing too fancy. But with some sort of clicker mechanism on the end. Having my head dragged across paper all day would be bad enough without someone constantly chewing on my ass.

How many languages do you you speak?
That depends on what’s meant by “speak”, from a “fluent” point of view.

UK English, obviously. Most American English words and spellings (thanks US TV!) and some Australian English slang. French (enough to get by in restaurants and the like) and German (enough for simple conversations).

Do computer languages count? ASP.NET, VB.NET, C#, ASP, VBScript, HTML, CSS, JavaScript, JQuery, T-SQL, PowerShell.

Are you a listener or talker?
Definitely a listener, especially around people I don’t know. I need to get a sense of people before saying too much so that I can slip into the conversation unnoticed.

Rather Have:  Which would you rather have, 2 million dollars or true love? 
Is this true love that will remain that way, or the true love which quickly fades into tolerance (he asked cynically)? I think maybe the cold hard cash in my pocket would be the way to go here.

 

I’m about to take the plunge and click the “upgrade to Windows 10” button! So if I go quiet for a little while, it’s because I’ve screwed my laptop. Yay :-). Wish me luck…

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Friday Fictioneers – Carpe Diem

September 10, 2015 75 comments

Here’s my story for Friday Fictioneers, a weekly photo challenge hosted by Rochelle. The photograph this week was contributed by Jennifer Pendergast.

To view the other stories for this week, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Jennifer Pendergast

Copyright Jennifer Pendergast

 

Pete, designated “Team Leader”, read the instructions.

“Row across Doom Lake, navigate the Rapids of Certain Death and finally enter the Canyon of Damnation.”

“Um,” said Charles, “this sounds awfully dangerous.”

“These team-building exercises always sound like that,” chipped in Nancy. “It’s fine!”

“Well,” said Charles, “I don’t like the sound of it. I’m not going.” He watched his workmates sail off before going back to his room. He popped a beer, tripped over his slippers and broke his neck.

The moral of this story? Seize life. Because that bullet with your name on it? You’ll never see it coming.

 

MFTS – What Goes Around…

September 8, 2015 45 comments

Here is my story for Barbara Beacham’s Monday’s Finish the Story. This week’s photo was provided by Marcy B. Ayanian. She also provided the opening sentence! The opening sentence is in bold in my story, and to view this week’s other contributions, click the blue froggy.

I spent all day yesterday holding on to a comedy story with grim determination, but couldn’t think of a decent ending so I’ve written this instead.

Copyright 2015 Marcy B. Ayanian

Copyright 2015 Marcy B. Ayanian

 

As her mount shifted uneasily under her, she grasped the brim of her old felt Stetson, gazed upwards and remembered Jean Pierre.

The way his eyes flashed with amusement at some joke. The way his body moved while playing tennis at their Paris manor. The smile on his face when he repeated “I do” at their wedding, the smile which remained throughout the reception, and later, when they were alone…

The way his beautiful eyes opened wide as saucers as the laced brandy took effect, the poison causing his heart to falter, then stop.

She even spared a thought (however briefly) for the maid, eyes streaming tears as she was lead to the gallows, lips protesting her innocence of a crime she didn’t commit.

Lady Genevieve smiled as she rode back to the manor – her manor now – and looked out over Paris.

In the shadows lurked her butler, sometime lover of the maid, a grim smile on his face as he watched her sip the cocktail he’d so carefully prepared.

 

Sharing My World 2015 Week 35

September 6, 2015 20 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World for this week.

share-your-world2

What made you feel good this week?
Nothing in particular, really. Life just trundles along. Everything is nicely stable on the contentment scale. I did visit St. Michael’s Mount. I’ll do another post with pictures, but here’s a little taster.

St Michaels Mount 1

StMichaelsMount2

StMichaelsMount3

For potlucks or parties do you cook it yourself, buy from a grocery store, or pay for catering?
I don’t really go to potlucks or parties, but I would certainly buy something from a shop. Pay for catering? That sounds a bit too high class for any sort of party I would be invited to. And me cooking would likely lead to some sort of unfortunate mass poisoning incident :-(.

What is your favourite part of the town/city you live in.  And what Country do you live in?
I live in England. I guess my favourite part of my village is my house. There isn’t a lot more here. The shop, the village hall and so on.

Complete this sentence:  My favourite place in the whole world…
… is anywhere with lovely scenery. Ireland, Scotland, Cornwall, Wales, anywhere I’ve been and seen lovely places.

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Literary Lion – Skool Dayz

September 5, 2015 32 comments

Here is my contribution for Laura’s fortnightly Literary Lion challenge. The Literary Lion has spoken, and this week’s prompt word is “limerick“.

The photograph was taken by Christopher Web (flikr) and supplied under a Creative Commons licence.

SchoolHallway

 

Mr Glass looked around the class.

“Right everyone, I hope you’ve done your homework. Randall, we’ll start with you.”

Randall stood up and began reading.

“Limerick is a town in Ireland, innit. It is in the province of Munster, yo. It…”

“Let me stop you there, Randall,” interrupted Mr Glass. “The assignment was to write a limerick, not to write about the town of Limerick.” The class tittered.

“Woah dere. I has spent hours…”

“… minutes at most…” broke in Mr Glass,

“… on dis!” finished Randall.

“I’m sorry, Randall, but…”

“Right! Here is a limerick den, yo!” Randall began to make boom-box noises.

“I does da homework on time,
But Mr Glass he wants a rhyme,
I was doin’ jus’ fine,
All dahn the line,
An’ I don’ do drugs,
‘Cos I ain’t no mug,
Rub-a-dubba-dub. Pshhhhhhh… the Word. Yo.”

The class burst into appreciative applause.

“Randall,” said the long-suffering Glass, “two things. One, that barely makes sense. Two, that’s a rap, not a limerick.”

“Oh man, it’s like I can’t do nuffin’ right!” exclaimed Randall. “Okay den, here’s a limerick for ya!

“Dere once wuz a teacher named Glass,
Who always had trouble in class,
He hates all da kidz,
Now his life’s on da skidz,
He could do wiv a kick up da…”

“RANDALL!”

 

Friday Fictioneers – Flicker

September 3, 2015 67 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was also supplied by our hostess!

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

Samson looked up at the lights in the window and reached for his walkie-talkie.

“They’re flickering, man.”

“But you can’t hear anything?”

“Nope. All quiet.”

“Good.”

“I’m coming down.”

He trudged down to the basement. “I told you we should’a used car batteries,” he grumbled.

“D’ya know how much they cost? It’s an old building. Dodgy electrics. It’ll be fine.” Mason walked over to the table and looked at the man strapped there.

“So, snitch, let’s try this again, shall we? Who’s your contact?”

He twisted a knob and the man screamed, his back arching. Upstairs, the lights flickered.

 

MFTS – The Origin of Hell on Earth

August 31, 2015 74 comments

Here’s my story for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. It’s slightly over the word count but I’ve already chopped out 40 words!

The supplied sentence is in bold in my story, and you can see all the other contributions by clicking on the blue froggy.

Copyright B.W. Beacham

Copyright B.W. Beacham

 

The cemetery spread along the area known as Devils Abode.

However, the Devil was away on business and the minions were having a party! There was jelly and ice cream, little sausages on sticks and, of course, unspeakable torments.

All the best demons had turned up. All the worst demons too. Chamblezook, Defiler of Small Animals, had accidentally marked the invite “public” on FaceScroll.

Chamblezook watched in horror as the demons… “tore up the joint”, he believed was the “in” term. He gasped as he looked out the window to see Grigglebarg, Corrupter of Kitty-Cats, taking a leak on the Master’s prize-winning geraniums.

Then he heard a voice. “He’s mine, she’s mine, missed him…” The Master was coming, reading the graveyard headstones. He would not be pleased.

He was not pleased. In his rage the Master created Hell on Earth. He later admitted he may have gone too far, but billions of humans would now be subjected to the worst torment ever devised.

And thus the Reality Show was born.

 

Sharing My World 2015 Week 34

August 30, 2015 37 comments

Week 34 already. Where has the year gone?

Thanks as always to Cee for hosting this challenge, on top of all the photography challenges she hosts as well!

share-your-world2

Was school easy or difficult for you? How so?
Yes. Both. The work was okay, I usually got good marks. But the whole school thing. Yuck!

Who was it who said school is “the happiest days of your life”? Or did that saying just pop up out of nowhere? It’s a big fat lie, anyway.

As an adult, with bills and responsibilities and all the rest, at least you’re in control of the big mess you’re making of it :-).

What is your favourite animal?
To have as a pet, it would be a cat. As for animals in general, I like cute. Koala Bears are cute. Even if they’re lying about being bears.

Here’s a picture of a raccoon I bought from Goldfish’s online store. Goldfish can make anything look cute in her pictures.

raccoon-pic

How cute is that?

If you had to have your vision corrected would you rather: glasses or contacts?
I’ve worn glasses since I was around 10, and have to wear them all the time.

I did spend a few years wearing contacts while I was at university. However, back then due to my astigmatism I couldn’t have soft lenses, I had to have “semi-hard gas permeable”. They were pretty uncomfortable, and I had a real problem falling asleep in lectures back then. You don’t want to fall asleep with contacts in. Nasty.

List:  Name at least five television shows (past or present) you enjoyed?
Oh boy. I could go on forever. I guess I’ll just name some that I’m enjoying at the moment, or have enjoyed recently (which doesn’t necessarily make it recent!).

  • The Good Wife
  • Dr Who (obviously)
  • Grimm
  • Stargate SG1/Atlantis
  • Blake’s 7
  • Red Dwarf
  • Blackadder
  • From Dusk Till Dawn (the Netflix spin-off) – darker and more gory than the film – series 2 out now!
  • Bones
  • Lost Girl
  • Grey’s Anatomy (anything medical actually – ER, Casualty, Holby City…)

 

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