FF – The Day Brian Killed the World
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, the weekly 100 word flash fiction challenge headed up by Rochelle over at Addicted to Purple. This week’s photo comes courtesy of Connie Gayer, or Mrs Russell:-).
I could have done with another 50 words for this one, but them’s the breaks. Hopefully I haven’t stripped out too much. And I thought this was a pipe rather than a wire at first glance.
To read this week’s other stories, click the blue froggy.
Copyright Connie Gayer
“What’s that?” asked Brian.
“Dunno. Some pipe. There’s a sign. What’s it say?”
“No idea.” Brian tugged at the pipe until one end came free. With a sound reminiscent of air escaping a balloon, Earth deflated to the size of a marble. Trees, cars and dead people floated off into space.
“WHAT A MESS!” boomed a voice from the darkness. “I’M NOT CLEANING THIS UP. WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS PLANET?” The Angelic Host appeared. One of their number raised a wing.
“Me,” he mumbled. “But, but, I left a sign. Look!”
Emergency Planet Release Valve
Authorised Angelic Personnel Only
DO NOT TOUCH!
MFTS – Live By the Coin…
Here is my story for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. The supplied opening line is in bold in my story.
I had trouble merging a constantly nervous and tense woman with coins, but here it is all the same! Click on the blue froggy for all this week’s other stories.
Copyright B.W. Beacham
She lived a life that some would describe as being on edge. She was constantly panicking, especially when it came to make a decision. Watching Batman, she was terribly impressed by “Two Face”, making all his decisions by flipping a coin. Her salvation!
Rummaging around at the back of the sofa she found one, depicting a bison. Everything changed.
Everything was in the lap of fate. “No bison” – she binned her boyfriend. “Bison” – she stayed at her appalling job. “Bison” – she took an axe and found a family, letting the husband live, killing the wife, sparing the toddler and killing the teenager. The bison had spoken.
Karma caught up when the judge, staring her straight in the eye, flipped a coin, declared “bison” and sent her to the chair. Arriving at the gates of Heaven, the angel flipped a coin, declared “no bison” and sent her downstairs. Fate is a jealous mistress – once you give yourself to Her, She’ll never let you go.
Sharing My World 2015 Week 43
Here’s my weekly post for Cee’s Share Your World.
If you were on a debate team, what general subject would you relish debating?
This wouldn’t be a very good idea for me. You don’t want to get me started on something.
I’m thinking maybe
“Is it okay to illegally steal music and films off the web rather than pay for them like a law-abiding citizen? If you feel something in a shop is too expensive, do you steal it instead? DISCUSS!”
You can see by the slightly (!) biased way I phrased the question where I stand :-). I’ve already started my debate in the question, even!
The trouble is I might have to argue the opposite to what I believe on a debate team. Maybe I could do that, maybe not.
What’s your strongest sense?
My eyesight is pretty poor (though fine with corrective lenses). My sense of taste isn’t what it was thanks to decades of Tabasco abuse. My sense of touch is somewhat desensitised (at least on my thumbs) thanks to chewing on them. My sense of smell isn’t great either. So I’ll go for hearing, which is fine apart from the usual age-related degradation.
What would you name the autobiography of your life?
“Was that it, then? The life and times of draliman.”
List your favourite flavours or types of tea.
I don’t really like “normal” tea. I sometimes drink “fruity” tea, like blackcurrant and stuff. I suppose technically that’s a “fruit infusion” rather than a tea. Here is what’s in my cupboard right now. The worktop thingy I put it on for this picture was one of my birthday presents from my friends from round the corner. I have another flavour in my drawer at work.
Friday Fictioneers – Pioneer Monkey
Here is my story for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo is by Dale Rogerson. Thanks, Dale!
To read this week’s other contributions, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Dale Rogerson
“What-ho, Simpkins, our submersible prototype returns!”
“Indeed, Pendergast. But wait, it is full to the brim with water!”
“Dash it. Quickly, retrieve the monkey.” They opened the hatch and pulled out a rather waterlogged simian.
“How fares he, Simpkins?” asked Pendergast.
“Speak to me, Chester!” shouted Simpkins, hammering on the monkey’s chest. Water spouted from its mouth.
Ook.
“Thank Heavens! Chester lives!”
“A palpable success, Simpkins,” said Pendergast. “I’ll wager you’re glad to be out of there, Chester!”
Ook! Ook!
“Tomorrow,” said Simpkins, “we shall trial our rocket ship, powered only by the flatulence of cattle. To the stars, Chester!”
Ooooook.
MFTS – Musings of a Dead Man
Here is my story for this week’s Mondays Finish the Story, conceived and hosted by Barbara Beacham. We are given a sentence to start us off, plus a picture. The supplied opening sentence is in bold in my story below.
To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy. My story this week is a little bit gruesome! I blame the photo :-).
Copyright B W. Beacham
I watched the vulture looking at me hungrily as I lay on the ground bleeding and injured.
Well, “injured” is putting it mildly. I’ve been dead for days, but here I lie, waiting for… whatever. Maybe they’ve forgotten about me?
What’s that damn vulture up to now? Here it comes, right on my face. Great. There goes the other eyeball. I hope you choke on it, you stupid bird. Now I can’t see anything at all.
What happened to the chorus of angels? What happened to the bright light? Come to think of it, how will I even see the bright light with no eyeballs?
What’s that now I hear? Howling? Well, that’s just bloody brilliant, that is. Wolves. Marvellous. Here they come. At least they’ve scared the vulture away, the bastard. Yes, that’s it, feast on my intestines. No shoving, there’s enough for everyone. Bollocks.
Not that I have either of those left. The vulture had them yesterday.
Hello? Hello? Angels? Anyone? Is there anybody up there…?
Scary Movie – Victorian London Edition
Here is a little story I wrote for Mer for one of her blogs 🙂
Literary Lion – A Well-Honed Edge
Here is my story for Laura’s Literary Lion challenge. The Literary Lion has pawed around in his stash of prompts and for this fortnight has produced the prompt word “edge“.
A Well-Honed Edge
Always look after your tools, his Master had told him. He had taken this to heart, spending hours oiling, sharpening, polishing. His routine had always seen him right. His tools had never failed him.
As darkness fell, he pulled on his work clothes, picked up his tools and left the dark, dingy flat – not his everyday home, but nicely anonymous on the nights he worked. Unusually, he felt a little stab of… fear? No, anticipation. He usually worked for money, but tonight he was upholding a tradition, one as ancient as the hills, a tradition which would allow him to take his place as Master.
Blending in with the night, he entered the old man’s house on silent feet, slipping through the hallways until he saw him sitting in his study, reading. As the knife slid easily – oh, so easily – between his former Master’s ribs, he saw a flicker of pride in the old man’s dying eyes of a tradition upheld, a job well executed, and an edge well-honed.
Sharing My World 2015 Week 42
Here is my contribution to Cee’s Share Your World.
Are you usually late, early, or right on time?
No usually about it. I’m always early. I calculate how long I’ll need based on time of day and so on and then add some time on in case of getting stuck behind tractors and whatnot. Usually if I’m going for a meal with my parents, I’ll arrive, sit in the car for 10 minutes, then go into the restaurant 10 minutes early.
The further I have to go, the earlier I will typically be.
If you were or are a writer do you prefer writing short stories, poems or novels?
If I were a writer I would probably prefer to write short stories. Novels sound like they would take far too much planning!
Where did you live at age ten? Is it the same place or town you live now?
At age ten I lived in Truro, Cornwall. I’ve moved all around but now I’m back in Cornwall, about 7 miles from Truro. Full circle!
Would you rather be able to fly or breathe under water?
Who’s cooler? Superman or Aquaman? I rest my case.
First Date Haiku
Dan Alatorre issued a challenge to write a Haiku, a 5-7-5 “syllable” (syllable is the closest we can get to the actual definition) scheme. He provided a link to a random topic generator and we have to write a Haiku on whichever topic appears first (no constantly clicking the button until a “sensible” topic comes up!).
So I clicked on it this morning and got this:
“What’s the worst thing you can say on a first date?”
Oh, Hell. But rulz is rulz. And to be fair, after writing this I clicked a few more times just to see what I could’ve won, and I think I got off quite easily. So here it is!
“Is that your real face?”
Swift knee to groin ends my dreams
Foot in mouth again.
I did try to do more than one but everything came out rather rude :-(.
I have optimistically placed this post in my “Poems” category.
Friday Fictioneers – Something New
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, which marks Rochelle’s third anniversary as FF host! To celebrate, in a break to usual draliman fare, my story this week is unashamedly a sort of tribute to this landmark. In a sort of analogous way. With the name changed. And the gender. And there’s a bus. But I’m sure you get the idea!
The photo was contributed by Ron Pruitt. Click on the blue froggy for this week’s other stories.
Copyright Ron Pruitt
Fielding thought back to that sunny afternoon, three years ago almost to the day. His life had been good but change is good too, right? So he’d decided to mix things up a bit, take on something new.
He’d boarded that bus back in 2012, ready to visit new territory, meet the challenge. Since that time he’d seen murder and intrigue, philosophy, comedy, pathos, even horror (though he had to admit he wasn’t so keen on the zombies).
Looking back, he knew he’d made the right decision. He’d done good. Everyone said so, and his new undertaking was thriving. Congratulations, Fielding!
Click for a random post!
Woohoo!
I totally didn't win!
Share Your World
Friday Fictioneers
