Friday Fictioneers – Carpe Diem
Here’s my story for Friday Fictioneers, a weekly photo challenge hosted by Rochelle. The photograph this week was contributed by Jennifer Pendergast.
To view the other stories for this week, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Jennifer Pendergast
Pete, designated “Team Leader”, read the instructions.
“Row across Doom Lake, navigate the Rapids of Certain Death and finally enter the Canyon of Damnation.”
“Um,” said Charles, “this sounds awfully dangerous.”
“These team-building exercises always sound like that,” chipped in Nancy. “It’s fine!”
“Well,” said Charles, “I don’t like the sound of it. I’m not going.” He watched his workmates sail off before going back to his room. He popped a beer, tripped over his slippers and broke his neck.
The moral of this story? Seize life. Because that bullet with your name on it? You’ll never see it coming.
MFTS – What Goes Around…
Here is my story for Barbara Beacham’s Monday’s Finish the Story. This week’s photo was provided by Marcy B. Ayanian. She also provided the opening sentence! The opening sentence is in bold in my story, and to view this week’s other contributions, click the blue froggy.
I spent all day yesterday holding on to a comedy story with grim determination, but couldn’t think of a decent ending so I’ve written this instead.
Copyright 2015 Marcy B. Ayanian
As her mount shifted uneasily under her, she grasped the brim of her old felt Stetson, gazed upwards and remembered Jean Pierre.
The way his eyes flashed with amusement at some joke. The way his body moved while playing tennis at their Paris manor. The smile on his face when he repeated “I do” at their wedding, the smile which remained throughout the reception, and later, when they were alone…
The way his beautiful eyes opened wide as saucers as the laced brandy took effect, the poison causing his heart to falter, then stop.
She even spared a thought (however briefly) for the maid, eyes streaming tears as she was lead to the gallows, lips protesting her innocence of a crime she didn’t commit.
Lady Genevieve smiled as she rode back to the manor – her manor now – and looked out over Paris.
In the shadows lurked her butler, sometime lover of the maid, a grim smile on his face as he watched her sip the cocktail he’d so carefully prepared.
Sharing My World 2015 Week 35
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World for this week.
What made you feel good this week?
Nothing in particular, really. Life just trundles along. Everything is nicely stable on the contentment scale. I did visit St. Michael’s Mount. I’ll do another post with pictures, but here’s a little taster.
For potlucks or parties do you cook it yourself, buy from a grocery store, or pay for catering?
I don’t really go to potlucks or parties, but I would certainly buy something from a shop. Pay for catering? That sounds a bit too high class for any sort of party I would be invited to. And me cooking would likely lead to some sort of unfortunate mass poisoning incident :-(.
What is your favourite part of the town/city you live in. And what Country do you live in?
I live in England. I guess my favourite part of my village is my house. There isn’t a lot more here. The shop, the village hall and so on.
Complete this sentence: My favourite place in the whole world…
… is anywhere with lovely scenery. Ireland, Scotland, Cornwall, Wales, anywhere I’ve been and seen lovely places.
Literary Lion – Skool Dayz
Here is my contribution for Laura’s fortnightly Literary Lion challenge. The Literary Lion has spoken, and this week’s prompt word is “limerick“.
The photograph was taken by Christopher Web (flikr) and supplied under a Creative Commons licence.
Mr Glass looked around the class.
“Right everyone, I hope you’ve done your homework. Randall, we’ll start with you.”
Randall stood up and began reading.
“Limerick is a town in Ireland, innit. It is in the province of Munster, yo. It…”
“Let me stop you there, Randall,” interrupted Mr Glass. “The assignment was to write a limerick, not to write about the town of Limerick.” The class tittered.
“Woah dere. I has spent hours…”
“… minutes at most…” broke in Mr Glass,
“… on dis!” finished Randall.
“I’m sorry, Randall, but…”
“Right! Here is a limerick den, yo!” Randall began to make boom-box noises.
“I does da homework on time,
But Mr Glass he wants a rhyme,
I was doin’ jus’ fine,
All dahn the line,
An’ I don’ do drugs,
‘Cos I ain’t no mug,
Rub-a-dubba-dub. Pshhhhhhh… the Word. Yo.”
The class burst into appreciative applause.
“Randall,” said the long-suffering Glass, “two things. One, that barely makes sense. Two, that’s a rap, not a limerick.”
“Oh man, it’s like I can’t do nuffin’ right!” exclaimed Randall. “Okay den, here’s a limerick for ya!
“Dere once wuz a teacher named Glass,
Who always had trouble in class,
He hates all da kidz,
Now his life’s on da skidz,
He could do wiv a kick up da…”
“RANDALL!”
Friday Fictioneers – Flicker
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was also supplied by our hostess!
To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Samson looked up at the lights in the window and reached for his walkie-talkie.
“They’re flickering, man.”
“But you can’t hear anything?”
“Nope. All quiet.”
“Good.”
“I’m coming down.”
He trudged down to the basement. “I told you we should’a used car batteries,” he grumbled.
“D’ya know how much they cost? It’s an old building. Dodgy electrics. It’ll be fine.” Mason walked over to the table and looked at the man strapped there.
“So, snitch, let’s try this again, shall we? Who’s your contact?”
He twisted a knob and the man screamed, his back arching. Upstairs, the lights flickered.
MFTS – The Origin of Hell on Earth
Here’s my story for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. It’s slightly over the word count but I’ve already chopped out 40 words!
The supplied sentence is in bold in my story, and you can see all the other contributions by clicking on the blue froggy.
Copyright B.W. Beacham
The cemetery spread along the area known as Devils Abode.
However, the Devil was away on business and the minions were having a party! There was jelly and ice cream, little sausages on sticks and, of course, unspeakable torments.
All the best demons had turned up. All the worst demons too. Chamblezook, Defiler of Small Animals, had accidentally marked the invite “public” on FaceScroll.
Chamblezook watched in horror as the demons… “tore up the joint”, he believed was the “in” term. He gasped as he looked out the window to see Grigglebarg, Corrupter of Kitty-Cats, taking a leak on the Master’s prize-winning geraniums.
Then he heard a voice. “He’s mine, she’s mine, missed him…” The Master was coming, reading the graveyard headstones. He would not be pleased.
He was not pleased. In his rage the Master created Hell on Earth. He later admitted he may have gone too far, but billions of humans would now be subjected to the worst torment ever devised.
And thus the Reality Show was born.
Sharing My World 2015 Week 34
Week 34 already. Where has the year gone?
Thanks as always to Cee for hosting this challenge, on top of all the photography challenges she hosts as well!
Was school easy or difficult for you? How so?
Yes. Both. The work was okay, I usually got good marks. But the whole school thing. Yuck!
Who was it who said school is “the happiest days of your life”? Or did that saying just pop up out of nowhere? It’s a big fat lie, anyway.
As an adult, with bills and responsibilities and all the rest, at least you’re in control of the big mess you’re making of it :-).
What is your favourite animal?
To have as a pet, it would be a cat. As for animals in general, I like cute. Koala Bears are cute. Even if they’re lying about being bears.
Here’s a picture of a raccoon I bought from Goldfish’s online store. Goldfish can make anything look cute in her pictures.
How cute is that?
If you had to have your vision corrected would you rather: glasses or contacts?
I’ve worn glasses since I was around 10, and have to wear them all the time.
I did spend a few years wearing contacts while I was at university. However, back then due to my astigmatism I couldn’t have soft lenses, I had to have “semi-hard gas permeable”. They were pretty uncomfortable, and I had a real problem falling asleep in lectures back then. You don’t want to fall asleep with contacts in. Nasty.
List: Name at least five television shows (past or present) you enjoyed?
Oh boy. I could go on forever. I guess I’ll just name some that I’m enjoying at the moment, or have enjoyed recently (which doesn’t necessarily make it recent!).
- The Good Wife
- Dr Who (obviously)
- Grimm
- Stargate SG1/Atlantis
- Blake’s 7
- Red Dwarf
- Blackadder
- From Dusk Till Dawn (the Netflix spin-off) – darker and more gory than the film – series 2 out now!
- Bones
- Lost Girl
- Grey’s Anatomy (anything medical actually – ER, Casualty, Holby City…)
Friday Fictioneers – Poorly Thought Out
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle at Addicted to Purple. This week’s photo was contributed by Claire Fuller.
To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Claire Fuller
“So what’s this you’re demonstrating, then?”
“Well, you know how the little bastar… darlings from Class 7B are always tipping the lockers over?”
“Yeeesssss…”
“I’ve retro-fitted them with special bars that automatically slam down to steady them the moment any tipping movement is detected.”
“Riigghttt… one problem I can see…”
“I’ll give them a shove and you’ll see it in action.”
“…is that there’s a busy corridor right behind…”
Shove.
Creak.
Clunk.
SPLAT!
“Yay! The anti-tipping mechanism deployed beautifully.”
“On top of Class 5C.”
“Some sort of pre-deployment alarm system, perhaps?”
“Go away now, please. Somebody call an ambulance!”
MFTS – Chad and Brad Go Vamp
Here is my contribution to Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. Today we find out what Chad and Brad, our favourite stoners, have been up to since last we saw them.
The supplied opening sentence is in bold in my story, and this week’s other stories can be found by clicking on the blue froggy.
Copyright B.W. Beacham
The family had no idea that little Luigi would grow up to be… prematurely dead.
Neither did Chad and Brad when they visited their old friend hoping to score some weed. Everyone knew Luigi had the best in town.
While waiting for Luigi to fetch his stash, Brad stumbled across an old photograph.
“Dude!” said Brad. “Come look! It’s little Luigi!”
“Digging the cool retro costumes, Luigi,” said Chad, puffing on his spliff. “When was this taken?”
Luigi’s face turned dark. “1874,” he said. “Now my secret is out and you both must join me… in death. Bwahahahaha!” Luigi’s fangs extended and he attacked.
“Not again,” grumbled Brad, taking an extended puff of annoyance. “Ghosts, vampires…”
“Dude!” exclaimed Chad as Luigi leapt straight into the lit end of his joint.
As everyone knows, vampires and flames don’t mix. Luigi burst into flames.
“Oh man!” said Chad. “I torched Luigi! Sorry, dude.”
Luigi screamed and exploded.
“Not cool,” said Brad, wiping Luigi-ashes off his coat. “Come on, let’s find his stash. Finders keepers!”
“Dude.”
Sharing My World 2015 Week 33
Here is my Share Your World, hosted as always by Cee at her wonderful photography blog.
What are some words that just make you smile?
“Asshat” and “douche-canoe” (not technically actual words). Thanks, Merby! Kerfuffle (according to Chrome, also not actually a word). Evidently, words which are not words make me smile :-).
You’re given $500,000 dollars tax free (any currency), what do you spend it on?
Me! Mortgage and miscellaneous debts. Pay off my car. Then save for my retirement. I might even buy friends and family a present. Like a chocolate bar or something. If I’m feeling particularly generous I might even buy them a bottle of wine! One bottle between them.
What subject would you like to study in depth, if given the time to do so?
I don’t fancy the idea of studying anything to be honest. Maybe the Jedi path. As long as the study pack comes with a light sabre so I can decapitate muggers.
Would your rather be stuck in a small plane with bad turbulence for 2 hours or be a passenger in a car racing the Daytona 500?
No.
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