Coming Home
Here’s my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, the weekly 100-ish word flash fiction challenge hosted by the lovely and talented Rochelle. This week she contributed the photo herself!
As usual I glanced at the photo at lunch time and then just let my brain work away and do its thing. Except it didn’t. Finally I managed to come up with a story of sorts, which you can find underneath the photo!
To read all the other contributions (more are added throughout the week), click on the little blue fellow below.
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
The military transport sliced through the frigid air, winging its way home.
Home. The word always conjured up images of friends, family, familiar surroundings. Images of lush, rolling hills. Images of… normality. Safety.
No more arid desert. No more violent, unseen death waiting around every corner, behind every hill. No more stomach-churning spicy foods or bland combat rations.
He wasn’t there for his son’s first day at “big school”. He had never seen his baby daughter. He had missed her first steps, her first words.
His family would be waiting for him at the airstrip, waiting to take his coffin… home.
Shopping Around the World July
I thought I’d join in with Bacon and Fozzie’s Shopping around the World feature this time around. The idea is post the costs of various items so that we can see how much things cost around the world!
Here’s the list. My prices come to you from Cornwall, South-West England.
Toilet Paper
I always buy Andrex Puppies on a Roll. It’s a bit more expensive but I don’t care. It absolutely has to be Puppies on a Roll. Because it’s cute. Even when I was saving up to buy a house I splurged on Puppies on a Roll. Why? Because it’s cute.
One time I couldn’t get Puppies on a Roll and I was most dismayed.
That’s a picture of a 4 pack but I always buy a 9 pack (sometimes you even get 3 rolls free!).
A 9 pack costs me £4.49 (€5.67, US$7.60).
Regular package of ground beef
Small problem here – what’s a “regular package”? Come to that, what exactly is “ground beef”? Minced beef I guess? I’m going to post the price of the stuff I buy – store-brand lean minced steak beef, 500g. That costs £4.00 (€5.06, US$6.77).
Store bought pizza
I always buy thin-crust pepperoni pizza (store brand). This costs £2.25 (€2.84, US$3.81) for one, but I always buy 2 for £4.00 (€5.06, US$6.77). They’re not the highest quality pizza, but I add cheese and plenty of Tabasco sauce on the top. Yum 🙂
Before
Is that extra cheese? Why yes, yes it is.
Package of hot dogs
I haven’t bought these for years, but I located several examples for all sorts of prices. They don’t come in packages in this country, generally. Proper sausages (i.e. the Great British Banger!) come in packages, but hot dog sausages come in tins, usually in brine.
This is probably the sort of thing I would buy, were I to buy them, and this tin of 8 hot dog sausages would set you back a very reasonable £1.29 (€1.63 , US$2.18).
Tell you what’s really nice – hot dog sausage, slice along the sausage but not all the way through, fill with Marmite so it melts and stuff it in bread. Mmm! Bit messy, mind.
Package of bacon
Mmm, bacon. I buy store-brand back bacon, 8 rashers, unsmoked (300g) costing £2.55 (€3.22, US$4.31).
Mmm, bacon.
Sharing My World Week 29
It’s Week 29 of Share Your World, hosted by Cee at her photography blog.
Have you ever been in a submarine? If you haven’t, would you want to?
I’ve never been in a submarine, but it sounds cool. I’d like to look around a military submarine in the dock as they look quite interesting, but it would be boring taking a trip in one as they have no windows. One of those tourist subs with a glass floor would be great for looking at coral reefs and such.
Sunday Stills – Looking Through Windows
Sunday Stills this week, hosted by Ed, is entitled “Lookin’ Through Windows”. We’re asked to post a photo looking out through a window but the frame has to be in the photo.
I decided to take a couple of pictures looking out through the windows of my little house.
Looking out my bedroom window, at the front of the house. It’s next door that’s for sale, not me! That’s the path I walk down on my way to the fish and chip van for my Friday tea.
Here’s a view of a little piece of my back garden, viewed through the bathroom window. That bit of fence with the honeysuckle (?) is the end of my tiny garden.
Half an hour later I arrived at work, first one in. Here’s a picture of my little Fiesta, all alone in the car park, taken through an office window.
Extinction
It’s Friday Fictioneers time again, a weekly flash fiction challenge with a photo this week contributed by Marie Gail Stratford. As always, our 100 word fiction is overseen by Rochelle.
This week I drew inspiration from the rather witty words printed on the chopstick wrapper. To be honest, I have no idea what I’ve written, what genre it is or if it even makes much sense! Is it a damning indictment of Mankind? Maybe. Or maybe it’s a quirky story about cutlery. Quite how I got this out of a picture of a Chinese takeaway I don’t know.
To see this week’s other stories, click on the little blue fellow below.
Copyright Marie Gail Stratford
A cleverly-aimed chopstick could take out an eye – the Chopstick People had decimated the Spoon People – but an expertly-wielded fork could disembowel. The Fork People easily subdued those of the Chopstick.
Before long the Fork People fell to followers of the Knife, who fell in their turn. Progress, proliferation. Power was everything, desired, required.
At last came People wielding such utensils as had never before been seen. They used them on the Spoon People, the Chopstick, the Fork and the Knife. Finally, when all other People were destroyed, they used them on each other.
For such is the way of People.
Sharing My World Week 28
The twenty-eighth week of the year has rolled around and so it’s time to Share My World! The questions are posed by Cee over at her photography blog.
Have you ever been a participant in a parade? What did you do?
Hell yeah! I pretended I was ill so I didn’t have to go to school. I ended up on a parade float singing “Twist and Shout”. I was on TV and everything! Everyone at school thought I was really ill and started a collection to help me. Here’s a picture.
Look at me! Look at me!
(Picture taken from fanpop.com)
Oh, wait a moment. That doesn’t sound like me. That was “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off“. It wasn’t me at all 😦 .
No, I’ve never been in a parade.
If you were handed free opera tickets, would you go or sell them? Why?
I would go, just to see if opera is as annoyingly awful as it sounds on the TV. There’s always a chance that I’ll enjoy it, as I often enjoy arty stuff live that I don’t when it’s recorded.
Why did you start your blog?
I wanted somewhere to post my life musings to the world – all the little bits of witty wisdom I’ve picked up over the years. However, I quickly ran out of wisdom and started writing little stories instead. I also post photos sometimes!
I think it’s great that modern technology gives us a chance to put our stories and photos out there where people can see them, rather than requiring some sort of professional contract with an agent or gallery in order to showcase our work.
What is your favourite tradition? (family tradition, church tradition, whatever)
I like Christmas dinner with the family. We all meet up, open presents, have a lovely dinner and then play little games.
I also enjoy my own little traditions – “fish ‘n chip van Friday”, “pizza Saturday” and “sausage Sunday”.
My traditions seem to be very highly food-themed 🙂
See you all next week for another edition of “Share Your World”!
An Unfortunate Choice of Lunch
It’s Thursday and high time for my entry for Friday Fictioneers, the weekly 100-ish word flash fiction challenge hosted by Rochelle.
This week’s photo has been contributed by fellow Fictioneerer Adam Ickes. To read the other contributions, click on the frog below.
My contribution this week is a bit random. But so’s the photo.
Copyright Adam Ickes
“Hello?” came a voice. “I need the Browski file.” A head poked round the corner. “Whaaaa… you’re a… a… sheep!”
“Indeed!” smiled Kevin, Ram in Charge (records department). “Never fear. We love humans, us.”
“Absolutely love ‘em, yes,” echoed the goat at the next desk.
Kevin handed the file over.
“Um, thanks, um,” said the newcomer, leaving quickly.
“Lovely chap. I love humans, me,” said Kevin. “What’s for lunch today?”
“Me too, love humans!” The goat perused the menu. “It’s… oh shit, lamb chops.”
“Bastards!” snarled Kevin, grabbing his shotgun and pumping a shell into the chamber. “Death to the murdering human scum!”
“Human scum!” echoed the goat.
Sharing My World Week 27
It’s Share Your World time, with the questions posed as always by Cee over at her amazing photography blog. There were some tricky questions this week.
If you were the architect of one existing building, which building would you select?
Oh dear, I don’t know anything about this 😦 . I see buildings around, but I don’t particularly remember much about them. I seem to recall from photos that there are some nice-looking buildings in Dubai. I’ve also seen some great buildings in other people’s “Share Your World” posts.
Since I’m at a loss, I’m going to go for the “Walkie Talkie” in London. Here’s a picture.
Picture taken from BBC website
Although it’s not the most amazing building architecturally, its shape allows it to melt objects in the street below! I reckon being the architect of a secret death ray building would be really cool.
What is one of your favourite quotes?
I know I’m probably supposed to come up with something inspiring here, but I got nuffin’. Therefore I’ll point you at some Terry Pratchett quotes, as he’s one of my favourite authors.
Here are a couple:
“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
“Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.”
“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
What colour do you feel most comfortable wearing?
Blue, black, grey. Almost all my clothes are these colours (if you wish to define “black” and “grey” as colours). I might have a sock with a splash of red on it somewhere 🙂 .
What is something you learned in the last week?
Oh dear. I don’t think I learned anything, really. Most weeks are like that. I learned how to stab someone in the ankle with an arrow after dodging an attack in Lara Croft on my PS4. Does that count? It’s important because it allows me to riddle them with bullets while they’re reeling from the shock.
Dodge, stab, riddle
(Picture courtesy of engadget.)
Bye bye for this week!
Underbelly
Here we are on Thursday with Friday Fictioneers, the prompt for which was posted on Wednesday. Confused? Never mind, because it’s story time, hosted as always by Rochelle.
The photo which prompts our 100-ish word story this week was contributed by Kelly Sands and features big clouds over houses. But are they clouds? ARE THEY? Or are they actually Something More Sinister (dum dum dummmm)? My story this week is a bit nuts, so bear with me.
The other stories this week can be found by clicking on Bracken, the little blue froggy, below.
Here’s the photo of the clouds. OR ARE THEY CLOUDS? etc etc.
Copyright Kelly Sands
It came from Outer Space. NASA had pictures and everything.
One evening in late May it had appeared over the sleepy hamlet of Little Frimpton. The residents took it in their stride, as country folk often do.
“What be that, Jed? Looks loike clouds. But not clouds.”
“That be the underbelly o’ one o’ them giant aliens, Jethro.”
“Oh. ‘Nother ale?”
In June it broke wind, hospitalising several members of the Little Frimpton Knitting Circle during a particularly complicated crochet demonstration. Gas masks were distributed to the villagers.
They could only hope that nothing more solid would follow. Though as one pragmatic farmer noted, “It would be good fer moi fields.”
Sharing My World Week 26
It’s half-way through the year and time to Share My World once again. The questions are posed on a weekly basis by Cee – go check out her wonderful photos!
Is your refrigerator, organized or a mess inside?
I’d call it organised, though some might brand it a mess. Everything always goes in exactly the same place every week, so I know where everything is, so that makes it organised.
However, I’ve had it for nearly 6 years and have never cleaned it, so that makes it a mess 🙂
When I moved house in February, the freezer part at the top was so full of ice it filled an entire sink. There’s lots more room in it now!
This is the day before my weekly shop, so it’s quite empty!
As I’m feeling generous, here’s a bonus pic – the freezer portion, which sits on top of the fridge.
Ice cream and pizza. Who’d’a thunk it?
If you could be famous for one thing, what would it be?
I’m not really sure I want to be famous, but if I were I think it would be as a novelist, in common with many others who have answered this challenge.
Then I would be invited on all those comedy panel shows and I’d be awesome and everyone would love me and I’d be rich and I’d be the nation’s hero and women would throw themselves at me etc etc BWAHAHAHAHAHA.
But I wouldn’t let it change me ‘cos I’m really well adjusted.
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?
Choose just one thing? That’s a tricky one. Maybe visit New Zealand. Did I ever mention Hobbits before in these challenges? I think I did.
The scenery is very beautiful!
Where do you eat breakfast?
On a weekend, I only have coffee. In fact, coincidentally, some is brewing at the moment! I drink it in the living room.
Here it is, sitting in front of my trusty George Foreman grilling machine.
On a work day I also indulge in a Kellogg’s Special K “Biscuit Moment”, which I eat at my desk.
That’s all for this week, see you next week!
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Woohoo!
I totally didn't win!
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