FF – Tales From The Battlefield
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Todd Foltz.
I’ve been working my way through the “Sharpe” films recently. Based on the novels of Bernard Cornwell, they tell the tale of a soldier during the Napoleonic wars of the early 19th century, raised from the ranks to become an officer (but not a Gentleman, obviously).
“I say, by Jove, it’s hot enough to fry an egg out here!”
“Think I’ll try.”
Sizzle.
“I say, Sir, you may not be a Gentleman but by the Devil’s beard you shall act like one!”
“Calm down.”
“The cheek! Fetch your musket, Sir, we go to decimate the village yonder!”
“It’s farmers. Women and children.”
“They have defied the British Empire, Sir, and they shall pay, Sir!”
“I have a better idea.”
BANG!
“Ugh. You’ve killed me, Sir!”
“Yep. I’m off to warn them the English are coming. Fancy a fried egg while you bleed out?”
Fling! Splat!
“Urgghhhhhhh…”
Sharing My World 15-06-2020
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
What do you think of professional motivational speakers? Do you think they motivate?
For sure! They motivate people to spend their hard-earned cash to turn up, buy their book and come back again. They have that knack of getting people really excited about changing their lives during and shortly after the talk, but then the feeling fades and you have to go back for another fix.
Do you have a favourite flavor?
Yes.
While out walking, you hear a rustling in some bushes. What do you think of?
Someone’s getting frisky! Or it’s a werewolf. Or a vampire. Or a small rodent.
What’s your ideal temperature (nature-wise)? Hot, cold, temperate and mild, humid or bone dry?
Low 20’s and sunny during the day. Mid-teens overnight. Low humidity. I can’t express it in terms of hot/cold etc I’m afraid – scorching hot in Cornwall is mid to high twenties, which I know many people would scoff at and not consider hot at all!
FF – Nobody’s Fool
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by herself!
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Simon waits until the window cleaner advances up the ladder, safely away, before opening his concealed safe.
Simon is nobody’s fool.
The window cleaner smiles as he checks his phone app, streaming footage from the camera concealed in his boot. It shows the location of the safe, the positions of the fingers on the keypad. Once the safe is closed, he will retreat, to return that night.
Simon fancies some fresh air. He opens the window, knocking the window cleaner from his ladder to a messy death far below.
An unfortunate accident?
Simon is nobody’s fool.
Sharing My World 08-06-2020
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
How comfortable are you speaking in front of large groups of people?
Love it, being up there, the centre of attention, all eyes on me, standing in the spotlight.
Wait, that doesn’t sound like me at all.
Hate it, being up there, the centre of attention, all eyes on me, standing in the spotlight.
Final answer.
What would be the best thing you could reasonably expect to find in a cave?
Buried treasure. A dead body. A hitherto undiscovered monster crab. A huge vein of old (this is supposed to say “gold”, thanks Peter!). Ooh, a mermaid.
What did you think was going to be amazing but turned out to be horrible?
Salted chocolate. No, that’s a lie, I expected that to be horrible.
What’s the silliest thing you’ve observed someone get upset about?
All sorts of things. It could be me, it could be someone else. It’s usually something where you get into a “heated discussion” and both sides are so stubborn they refuse to back down, even though it gets sillier and sillier.
FF – Natter Natter
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ronda Del Boccio.
Copyright Ronda Del Boccio
“Ooh, look down there!”
“Yes, look down there!”
“Take a selfie!”
“I will take a selfie!”
Click
“Ooh, such fun, more Champagne?”
“Ooh, yes please…”
Natter natter chitter chatter blah blah…
The burners exchanged a look through their empty, soulless eyes. An unspoken agreement passed between them. As one, they tilted forward. As one, their valves rotated. As one, they belched forth cleansing flame, incinerating the noisy humans.
Lacking pilot, rudderless, the balloon floated on.
It would likely crash soon. And it was somewhat charred and smelled of barbecue.
The burners didn’t seem to mind.
They liked the quiet.
Sharing My World 01-06-2020
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
Is it ever okay to commit a crime? Please explain.
Only if you’re very rich and have no conscience. That way you’ll get off with it and you won’t care who got hurt.
Do you deal with change well?
I don’t like change. It always takes me a while to get used to things.
Do you like birds? The sound of bird song in the morning, taking pictures of them, as food?
Yes to all! I don’t have many photos of birds though as they keep flying away. Here’s a couple of gulls.
What’s the least used item of clothing you own?
Probably my suit. I wear it one to two times per year (Christmas parties). It’s cool, though. It has a little waistcoat 🙂
FF – Attack
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.
Copyright Ted Strutz
Jeff twisted and turned, but still they came. They were getting closer now, braver. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold out.
Sensing movement, he ducked towards a wall. Too late. A rush of steely wings slammed into his face. Onwards he ran. Safety, so close. Only 20 metres away he could see his wife, beckoning.
Too slow.
Something crashed into him, scratching his hand. He looked down sadly. Two crinkle-cut crisps and half a picked gherkin where once had been an entire Happy Meal.
He raised his face to the skies and screamed.
“BLOODY SEAGULLS!”
Sharing My World 25-05-2020
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
In your opinion, does patriotism require the belief that one’s country is the greatest on earth?
No. And people who blindly believe that scare me. There are lots of ways you can define “greatest on Earth” anyway. I believe the UK is one of the best places to live overall, but not the best. Basing it on economic and military, it’s probably China but I wouldn’t want to live there.
Why is patriotism considered by some to be the highest of virtues? What is so important about love of country? Shouldn’t we be more concerned about humankind, or the planet as a whole, rather than a single country?
It’s good to love your country. I don’t know who considers patriotism to be the absolute highest of virtues. Sounds like blind faith, no questioning.
What is the relationship between decisions and consequences?
Absolute. You make a decision, it has a consequence. Any decision, big or small. Decision – get out of bed. Consequence – day has begun.
What is social justice?
That’s when someone in the village does something wrong and a mob shows up and dangles them from the nearest tree.
Oh, wait, I just Googled it. It’s not that at all.
What’s one body part you wouldn’t mind losing?
My head. No, I need that. My little toe.
FF – Angry Crowd!
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by David Stewart.
Copyright David Stewart
The angry crowd moved down the mall towards the Presidential Palace, smashing as they went. Doors, windows – smashed. The freaky purple modern art installation, which had cost the starving country millions, exploded into shards.
Shouts of “kill the murderer!” and “food for the starving!” echoed through the streets.
The blood-thirsty crowd reached the main entrance, murder on their minds. A note was taped to the door.
“Due to the current COVID crisis, this residence is closed. Please call back in July, or email dictator_fernando69@autocrats.absolutepower.com.”
Disheartened, the angry mob made a note in their diaries and went down the pub instead.
Sharing My World 18-05-2020
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
What’s something you really resent paying for?
All types of insurance. I don’t like having to pay “just in case”. Grr. Of course, you’re glad of it if your house burns down or your house unexpectedly explodes.
What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen?
Star Trek 5 – The Final Frontier. How could they make something that bad in the midst of the great Star Trek, and actually think it was okay to release and not burn it?
Do you judge people?
I think everyone judges people, whether intentionally or not. The moment you see someone you form an opinion, which will alter over time, but that’s a form of snap judgement.
Finish this sentence: “Back in my day, we…”?
…spent long hot summers riding around the place on our bicycles during long hot summers holidays, not a care in the world…
Gratitude – Please feel free to share an uplifting photo, thought or meme to show your own gratitude. We can all use some good vibes!
A small but significant easing of our lockdown has allowed us to meet one person from outside our household outside, as long as we maintain the 2 metre distance. I went for a couple of walks in the country roads around the village with my friend.
Click for a random post!
Woohoo!
I totally didn't win!
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