FF – Angry Crowd!

May 27, 2020 66 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by David Stewart.

Copyright David Stewart

 

The angry crowd moved down the mall towards the Presidential Palace, smashing as they went. Doors, windows – smashed. The freaky purple modern art installation, which had cost the starving country millions, exploded into shards.

Shouts of “kill the murderer!” and “food for the starving!” echoed through the streets.

The blood-thirsty crowd reached the main entrance, murder on their minds. A note was taped to the door.

“Due to the current COVID crisis, this residence is closed. Please call back in July, or email dictator_fernando69@autocrats.absolutepower.com.”

Disheartened, the angry mob made a note in their diaries and went down the pub instead.

 

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Sharing My World 18-05-2020

May 24, 2020 16 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What’s something you really resent paying for?
All types of insurance. I don’t like having to pay “just in case”. Grr. Of course, you’re glad of it if your house burns down or your house unexpectedly explodes.

What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen?
Star Trek 5 – The Final Frontier. How could they make something that bad in the midst of the great Star Trek, and actually think it was okay to release and not burn it?

Do you judge people?
I think everyone judges people, whether intentionally or not. The moment you see someone you form an opinion, which will alter over time, but that’s a form of snap judgement.

Finish this sentence: “Back in my day, we…”?
…spent long hot summers riding around the place on our bicycles during long hot summers holidays, not a care in the world…

Gratitude – Please feel free to share an uplifting photo, thought or meme to show your own gratitude. We can all use some good vibes!
A small but significant easing of our lockdown has allowed us to meet one person from outside our household outside, as long as we maintain the 2 metre distance. I went for a couple of walks in the country roads around the village with my friend.

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FF – Absolute Power – How To Handle Those Little Issues

May 21, 2020 51 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.

I couldn’t really think of anything this week. Very busy with work and then I spent the evening on a long walk so time got away from me!

Copyright C.E. Ayr

 

“And so, children, the blast of sound from the speakers blows the sand off the beach, thus leading to loss of land mass.”

“Sir, my mummy said it’s to do with The Climate Change, and…”

“FALSE NEWS! Go and stand in the corner!”

“Yes, Sir sniffle sniffle.”

 

Later…

“We can’t have this, Mr Trimp. I know your third cousin is a big shot in the States, but even so… if nothing else, your bright orange skin is scaring the kids.”

“Grr…”

Ring ring

“Hey cuz, I have a problem needs “handling”… Headmaster annoyance… yes, make it look like an accident again…”

 

Sharing My World 11-05-2020

May 17, 2020 19 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do you have a favourite kind of tree?
Yes, definitely. I’m trying to remember what it’s called. It’s that one with a sort of rough brown bit at the bottom, then it gets narrower as it goes up and sort of branches out into smaller bits. And there are green bits on it higher up.

Hopefully someone can identify it from that description. To summarise – brown at the bottom, branching out, green bits at the top.

What bridges are you happy you burned?
I don’t recall burning any bridges. I like to keep open a way back.

Would you sacrifice yourself (die) for a stranger?
Ha! No, I seriously doubt it. Nobody can truthfully answer that question until they’re actually in the situation, though.

How have your priorities changed since the C-19 virus took over?
I don’t think they have. I’m doing the same things in a different way, that’s all.

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FF – Still a Kid

May 13, 2020 51 comments

Here is my contribution for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo was contributed by Jan Wayne Fields.

Copyright Jan Wayne Fields

 

“Look, babe, just what I need!”

“A straw hat.”

“Yes! Just right for my Revolution!”

“Your revolution.”

“Aloooohaaaa! Power to the People! The government shall fall!”

“That’s not what ‘Aloha’ means.”

“No?”

“No. Love, peace, an all-encompassing force…”

“That’s it! An all-encompassing force!”

“… which holds together existence.”

“Oh.”

“We’re supposed to be on holiday. I’m having an ice cream.”

“There’s ice cream? Can I have one?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Nice! Then we can find me a more suitable revolution hat.”

“Yes, dear. (This would be cute if you weren’t 51. I married a child. My parents warned me, did I listen?…)

 

Sharing My World 04-05-2020

May 10, 2020 23 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What can you break even if you don’t touch it?
My first thought was “the heart”. Other people have gone with “a promise”. Apparently there is “a real answer to this”. I wonder if it’s something real rather than an abstract noun.

I, of course, can break many things without touching them due to my Jedi powers.

What’s the most useful thing you own?
My brain. Without it I can’t remember how to use all the other useful things I own.

What’s The Silliest Reason You’ve Ever Gotten Into A Fight With Someone Over?
I can’t remember the last time I got into a “fight”. Probably with my one of my ex’s. You know how that goes, eh? 🙂

If You Were A Snake, How Long Would You Want To Be? No, size does not matter.
Ah, the snake. Universally a symbol of insidious back-stabbing nastiness. Slipping through the grass of life, a word here, a remark there, causing trouble and moving on, slippery, slidey, they cheat, they lie and are never seen, motes of dust, shadows in the night…

Sorry, what was the question again?

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FF – Of Men and Fridges

May 6, 2020 49 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. She also supplied the photo this week!

This one is so madcap crazy it made me smile 🙂 So don’t expect a deep and meaningful discourse on man’s ability to litter even the most picturesque of spots.

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

“Ah, walking in the woods, listening to the birds…”

THUMP!

“Well, what’re the odds?”

“Yeah, I know, right? We finally get out in the sunshine and a fridge falls on Roger. Must have fallen out a plane. I’d sue. Hey Roger, I’d sue!”

“I don’t think he can hear you. I wonder what’s inside?”

Creak

“Hey, it’s Roger!”

“Hi guys! The back of the fridge was missing, I ended up inside!”

“Well, that seems unlikely.”

“It does. I think we’re dreaming…”

Woo-ooo-ooo…

“Yep. We were dreaming. Roger’s been flattened alright. I can see his arm sticking out.”

“Well, shit.”

 

Sharing My World 27-04-2020

May 3, 2020 24 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do guns protect people or kill people? Or both?
A gun is just a tool, it’s the person pulling the trigger that kills. Technically, there’s very little reason for anyone outside of law enforcement and armed forces to own a gun (aside from pest control). Unfortunately in some countries ownership of guns has propagated so widely that people now buy guns because all the criminals have guns. It’s hard to get back from that.

Is it more important to be respected or liked?
I think I’d rather be liked. And respected. Respected. Liked. Why can’t I have both?

Like and respect me, dammit.

Is having a big ego a negative or positive trait?
I guess it’s a big positive if you’re a powerful business leader, as it’s a cut-throat environment. Unfortunately it doesn’t transfer well from big business to running a country. It just makes you look like a complete prat. Mentioning no names. Ahem.

Depending on your point of view, is death a new beginning?
Well, that’s the question, isn’t it. We’re all agreed that it’s an ending. Whether something else starts, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see!

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FF – Preparations

April 29, 2020 62 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

Copyright Dale Rogerson

 

Trigg sat in his restaurant, so quiet without customers, and tucked into braised steak. He’d planned for everything. With storerooms stocked, employees furloughed and loans in place, he knew his hotel would weather the lockdown with ease.

He smiled as he took another sip of premium wine. He was completely pandemic-proof.

That night an avalanche, dislodged by unseasonably-warm weather, dumped a million tonnes of snow on his hotel, smashing it to bits and smearing him across five miles of mountainside.

Yep. Climate change is still a “thing”, pandemic notwithstanding.

It’s hard to plan for everything.

 

Sharing My World 20-04-2020

April 26, 2020 22 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

In your opinion what animal is the most majestic?
Ah, that would be the majestic meerkat. Gaze in wonder as he scurries majestically around the desert, or wherever it is meerkats live. Feel that catch in your throat as he stands majestically on his hind legs, gazing with majestic solemness across the desert landscape, or the landscape of wherever meerkats live.

Truly the king of beasts.

What seemingly innocent question makes you think “It’s a trap!”?
“Does my bum look big in this? If you love me, you’ll be honest…”

What weird potato chip flavour that doesn’t exist would you like to try?
Surely every possible flavour of crisp has been already produced by now? There’s some weird stuff out there. I found a site listing some weird flavours, including squid, cucumber and cinnamon and sugar (erk!). However, it’s an American site as it also listed, as being really “out-there” from across the pond (ie. here), prawn cocktail crisps. I grew up on prawn cocktail crisps!

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