FF – Absolute Power – How To Handle Those Little Issues
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.
I couldn’t really think of anything this week. Very busy with work and then I spent the evening on a long walk so time got away from me!
Copyright C.E. Ayr
“And so, children, the blast of sound from the speakers blows the sand off the beach, thus leading to loss of land mass.”
“Sir, my mummy said it’s to do with The Climate Change, and…”
“FALSE NEWS! Go and stand in the corner!”
“Yes, Sir sniffle sniffle.”
Later…
“We can’t have this, Mr Trimp. I know your third cousin is a big shot in the States, but even so… if nothing else, your bright orange skin is scaring the kids.”
“Grr…”
Ring ring
“Hey cuz, I have a problem needs “handling”… Headmaster annoyance… yes, make it look like an accident again…”
Sharing My World 11-05-2020
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
Do you have a favourite kind of tree?
Yes, definitely. I’m trying to remember what it’s called. It’s that one with a sort of rough brown bit at the bottom, then it gets narrower as it goes up and sort of branches out into smaller bits. And there are green bits on it higher up.
Hopefully someone can identify it from that description. To summarise – brown at the bottom, branching out, green bits at the top.
What bridges are you happy you burned?
I don’t recall burning any bridges. I like to keep open a way back.
Would you sacrifice yourself (die) for a stranger?
Ha! No, I seriously doubt it. Nobody can truthfully answer that question until they’re actually in the situation, though.
How have your priorities changed since the C-19 virus took over?
I don’t think they have. I’m doing the same things in a different way, that’s all.
FF – Still a Kid
Here is my contribution for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo was contributed by Jan Wayne Fields.
Copyright Jan Wayne Fields
“Look, babe, just what I need!”
“A straw hat.”
“Yes! Just right for my Revolution!”
“Your revolution.”
“Aloooohaaaa! Power to the People! The government shall fall!”
“That’s not what ‘Aloha’ means.”
“No?”
“No. Love, peace, an all-encompassing force…”
“That’s it! An all-encompassing force!”
“… which holds together existence.”
“Oh.”
“We’re supposed to be on holiday. I’m having an ice cream.”
“There’s ice cream? Can I have one?”
“Yes, dear.”
“Nice! Then we can find me a more suitable revolution hat.”
“Yes, dear. (This would be cute if you weren’t 51. I married a child. My parents warned me, did I listen?…)”
Sharing My World 04-05-2020
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
What can you break even if you don’t touch it?
My first thought was “the heart”. Other people have gone with “a promise”. Apparently there is “a real answer to this”. I wonder if it’s something real rather than an abstract noun.
I, of course, can break many things without touching them due to my Jedi powers.
What’s the most useful thing you own?
My brain. Without it I can’t remember how to use all the other useful things I own.
What’s The Silliest Reason You’ve Ever Gotten Into A Fight With Someone Over?
I can’t remember the last time I got into a “fight”. Probably with my one of my ex’s. You know how that goes, eh? 🙂
If You Were A Snake, How Long Would You Want To Be? No, size does not matter.
Ah, the snake. Universally a symbol of insidious back-stabbing nastiness. Slipping through the grass of life, a word here, a remark there, causing trouble and moving on, slippery, slidey, they cheat, they lie and are never seen, motes of dust, shadows in the night…
Sorry, what was the question again?
FF – Of Men and Fridges
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. She also supplied the photo this week!
This one is so madcap crazy it made me smile 🙂 So don’t expect a deep and meaningful discourse on man’s ability to litter even the most picturesque of spots.
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
“Ah, walking in the woods, listening to the birds…”
THUMP!
“Well, what’re the odds?”
“Yeah, I know, right? We finally get out in the sunshine and a fridge falls on Roger. Must have fallen out a plane. I’d sue. Hey Roger, I’d sue!”
“I don’t think he can hear you. I wonder what’s inside?”
Creak
“Hey, it’s Roger!”
“Hi guys! The back of the fridge was missing, I ended up inside!”
“Well, that seems unlikely.”
“It does. I think we’re dreaming…”
Woo-ooo-ooo…
“Yep. We were dreaming. Roger’s been flattened alright. I can see his arm sticking out.”
“Well, shit.”
Sharing My World 27-04-2020
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
Do guns protect people or kill people? Or both?
A gun is just a tool, it’s the person pulling the trigger that kills. Technically, there’s very little reason for anyone outside of law enforcement and armed forces to own a gun (aside from pest control). Unfortunately in some countries ownership of guns has propagated so widely that people now buy guns because all the criminals have guns. It’s hard to get back from that.
Is it more important to be respected or liked?
I think I’d rather be liked. And respected. Respected. Liked. Why can’t I have both?
Like and respect me, dammit.
Is having a big ego a negative or positive trait?
I guess it’s a big positive if you’re a powerful business leader, as it’s a cut-throat environment. Unfortunately it doesn’t transfer well from big business to running a country. It just makes you look like a complete prat. Mentioning no names. Ahem.
Depending on your point of view, is death a new beginning?
Well, that’s the question, isn’t it. We’re all agreed that it’s an ending. Whether something else starts, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see!
FF – Preparations
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.
Copyright Dale Rogerson
Trigg sat in his restaurant, so quiet without customers, and tucked into braised steak. He’d planned for everything. With storerooms stocked, employees furloughed and loans in place, he knew his hotel would weather the lockdown with ease.
He smiled as he took another sip of premium wine. He was completely pandemic-proof.
That night an avalanche, dislodged by unseasonably-warm weather, dumped a million tonnes of snow on his hotel, smashing it to bits and smearing him across five miles of mountainside.
Yep. Climate change is still a “thing”, pandemic notwithstanding.
It’s hard to plan for everything.
Sharing My World 20-04-2020
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
In your opinion what animal is the most majestic?
Ah, that would be the majestic meerkat. Gaze in wonder as he scurries majestically around the desert, or wherever it is meerkats live. Feel that catch in your throat as he stands majestically on his hind legs, gazing with majestic solemness across the desert landscape, or the landscape of wherever meerkats live.
Truly the king of beasts.
What seemingly innocent question makes you think “It’s a trap!”?
“Does my bum look big in this? If you love me, you’ll be honest…”
What weird potato chip flavour that doesn’t exist would you like to try?
Surely every possible flavour of crisp has been already produced by now? There’s some weird stuff out there. I found a site listing some weird flavours, including squid, cucumber and cinnamon and sugar (erk!). However, it’s an American site as it also listed, as being really “out-there” from across the pond (ie. here), prawn cocktail crisps. I grew up on prawn cocktail crisps!
FF – Endings
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.
Copyright C.E. Ayr
“That’s weird.”
“What?”
“We burned everything. All our relationship stuff. Except that picture. That picture didn’t burn.”
“Okay…”
“It’s Paris. Where we met.”
“I know.”
“Why didn’t it burn? Maybe it’s a sign.”
“A sign.”
“That we should stay together. Maybe someone’s trying to tell us something.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Maybe we could… try again?”
“No. We’re past all that. It’s over.”
“So… so. Right. Who gets the Paris picture? Do you want it?”
“No. You take it. You were always more into… Paris… than I was.”
Sharing My World 13-04-2020
Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.
What do you do to get rid of stress?
I charge around virtual worlds on my PS4, slaughtering people. It’s okay, they deserve it. I don’t kill innocent villagers. Well, not on purpose, sometimes an badly-aimed arrow takes ones out.
I also read and watch TV.
In the past people were buried with the items they would need in the afterlife, what would you want buried with you so you could use it in the afterlife?
Hmm, I’m thinking the usual tech and so on, but what if there’s no electricity in the afterlife? Maybe I’m better off going unencumbered. A new start once I’m dead, so to speak.
What’s the opposite of a koala?
That would be the anti-koala. Made completely of antimatter (and courtesy of Lightroom’s Tone Curve), when this guy meets a regular koala they self-annihilate!
What’s the creepiest tech out there?
Those robots that look like humans. Shudder!
What method are you using to find your smile right now?
Remember those computer games I play? I have a new strategy! Shoot an enemy from long range with a fire arrow. Once he’s on fire, all his mates run out to put out the flames, making themselves easy targets. Then you set them on fire too.
Hilarious.
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Woohoo!
I totally didn't win!
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