FF – Simple Food for Complicated People
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo is from Roger Bultot.
When I saw this cafe scene I couldn’t get the last one out of my head (from Christmas) – “A Pie They Died For” – in which I murdered a whole bunch of people and ate them. That picture was by Roger as well. I wonder if this is the inside of the same cafe?
Well, I couldn’t do that again so I did something different. To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Roger Bultot
“Welcome to Just Burgers, how may I help you?”
“Hmm, I’d like cucumber with soft cheese on black bread with a side of avocado, please.”
“What is it about ‘Just Burgers’ you don’t understand?”
“Well, really!”
“You know how in films there’s a bloke in the kitchen with a meat cleaver for difficult customers?”
“Yeees…”
“Well, we don’t have one of those. Or cucumbers. Only dead cows in buns. Get out. Next!”
“Hi, phew, some people, eh?”
“For sure. What can I get you?”
“I’d like goat’s cheese on rye with iceberg lettuce and a side of sashimi, please.”
“Aaargh!”
Sharing My World 2017 Week 19
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
When you’re alone at home, do you wear shoes, socks, slippers, or go barefoot?
I have a battered old pair of slippers. When you vacuum as “often” as I do, barefoot is not to be recommended heh heh.
What was your favourite food when you were a child?
Yeek, that’s a long time ago to remember. I really liked a chocolate bar called “Yorkie”. Does that count as a food?
Are you a listener or talker?
I listen a lot. I can also talk a fair amount once I’m comfortable with people. With new people I keep my mouth shut until I’ve listened a lot and have sussed out what sort of people they are, their sense of humour, topics to avoid and so on.
Favourite thing to (pick one): Photograph? Write? Or Cook?
Do I pick one topic or do I pick one thing from each topic?
Photograph: views of nice places.
Write: flash fiction, preferably with dark/quirky humour.
Cook: I’m more a fan of eating the cooking rather than the cooking itself 🙂
FF – The Bigger Sin
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo comes from Rochelle as well. I hope it wasn’t her car 😦
(Just in case non-Brits are not aware, a shopping “trolley” is called a “cart” in the US.)
Click on the blue froggy for this week’s other stories.
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
“I’m waiting, Son.”
“Well, Dad, I went grocery shopping, see, and someone crashed into it with their trolley.”
“So, someone rammed their trolley into the car at… what? 50, 60 miles per hour?”
“That’s about the size of it, Dad.”
“The Hulk, was it? And this isn’t you on the camera sneaking out at 11pm?”
“Hmm, looks like me but isn’t. Weird.”
“Son…?”
“Okay, I snuck out on a date with Suzy and had a ding.”
“Cheerleader Suzy? Straight-A-student Suzy? Hot Suzy?”
“Yep!”
“Woo, nice one, Son! High five!”
High five slap.
“But you’re grounded for lying. ‘Til you’re 50.”
Sharing My World 2017 Week 18
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
Would you rather live where it is always hot or always cold?
No.
You want an actual answer. I’ll rephrase.
No.
Okay then, if I have to answer, cold. At least in a cold climate I can put on more clothes and switch on the heating. There’s not a lot you can do when it’s too hot.
Do you prefer long hair or short hair for yourself?
Definitely short. Long hair can get annoying (and my hair’s never been particularly long).
What is your favourite month of the year?
That’s a tricky one.
December has Christmas in it but it’s pretty cold. June to August can be quite warm so that’s nice. Back when I was younger September was very nice, warm and dry, but in recent years it’s been pretty wet.
Every month has its plus and minus points. Except January. January’s just rubbish.
What is the easiest way for your to learn something new? By reading, by seeing and doing, in a classroom?
I like to do things. Someone can tell me and/or show me how to do something all they like, but until I’ve tried it myself it doesn’t really sink in.
FF – Their Future in Our Hands
Here is my quirky not-really-a-story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo comes from Fictioneers stalwart Sandra Crook.
For this week’s other stories click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Sandra Crook
Picture the scene. A sleepy English village. Ignore the French flag. The French flag is unimportant. This is a sleepy English village.
Concentrate instead on the loving couple, hand in hand, oblivious to anything but each other.
But what’s this? Suddenly a hundred Friday Fictioneererers Fictioneerrers Fiction Writers appear!
Maybe our couple will wander safely home for tea and crumpets. Maybe they will become innocent bystanders of a drive-by shooting. Or imagine, if you will, hordes of undead boiling forth to feast on their flesh.
We don’t know. We just don’t know.
Their future is in OUR hands.
Don’t cock it up.
Sharing My World 2017 Week 17
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
Wanting something to quench your thirst, what would you drink?
Something sugar-free and fizzy straight from the fridge. If it has a little ice floating in it, all the better!
Mmmm. Nearly no calories of tasty refreshment.
Complete this sentence: Never In My Life Have I…
… visited the extra-dimensional space, that space between spaces, the world you can only catch glimpses of out of the corner of your eye, the land where the fairies live. And Hobbits too, probably.
If you could be given any gift what would it be?
Not wishing to sound greedy, but just the one gift, is it?
Then I shall take the gift of dance, that I may bring joy to the world with my snappy footwork. Or a million pounds. I haven’t quite decided.
What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep, toss and turn, or get up and try to do something productive?
I get little phases of this maybe a couple of times a year for a couple of days. Generally I just toss and turn for a bit. It usually happens during the summer when it’s a bit hot.
FF – On the Thoughts of Ghosts
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Liz Young.
I had no real ideas this week, so fair warning – you need a really weird sense of humour to see anything in this, and even then, it’s likely to be “huh?” It’s a wee bit surreal 🙂
Copyright Liz Young
Typical. With all the “space-saving grave relocations” going on, his coffin had to be on the one plane which blew up mid-air.
His tombstone had landed in a public park. The rest of him was scattered the length and breadth of Wiltshire.
When he’d been alive he’d often needed to be in several places at once. Now he was. It was rubbish.
He supposed he’d better start haunting someone now he was no longer stuck in a coffin.
Or several someones. The length and breadth of Wiltshire.
That tenacious dog playing with his shin-bone could be his first victim.
Boo!
Sharing My World 2017 Week 16
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
When writing by hand do you prefer to use a pencil or pen?
I use a pen, a standard Bic biro. Cheap, light and chewable. I don’t write much anyway – birthday and Christmas cards, thank you letters and notes at work, that’s all.
Would you rather be an amazing dancer or an amazing singer?
That’s a tricky one to answer as I’m already awesome at both. You should see my feet move when I’m “throwing some shapes” of a weekend. And my singing is second to none (as long as whatever I’m singing along to is loud enough to drown me out).
If you were on a debate team, what subject would you relish debating?
I would debate the merits of debating debates in the debate in the hopes that this would cause a metaphysical spiral of infinity, causing the auditorium to implode so we could all go home early and do the watching of the Netflix.
What are you a “natural” at doing?
I don’t know that I’m really a “natural” at doing anything. I’m quite good at learning things to an “okay” level, though.
FF – No Pain No Gain
Here is my story for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Magaly Guerrero.
Click on the blue froggy for this week’s other stories.
Copyright Magaly Guerrero
“So what’s all this gubbins for, again?”
“The heels are for my night out.”
“Yeah, I got that.”
“The art book reminds me of the suffering endured through the ages for the sake of beauty. Like me in my heels.”
“Okay…”
“The red book is a medical reference so I know everything that’s gone wrong with my feet after my night out in my heels.”
“And the little suitcase?”
“Antiseptic, plasters and whatnot. To fix my feet up ready for my next night out. In my heels.”
“I’d switch to flats if I were you.”
“Dad, don’t you know anything? Men!”
Sharing My World 2017 Week 15
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
Have you ever participated in a distance walking, swimming, running, or biking event? Tell your story.
I have done quite a few marathons.
Netflix marathons.
Ha ha ha.
No.
Name one thing not many people know about you.
No, because then lots of people would know it about me 🙂
What is your favourite flower?
I don’t really have a favourite flower. I have favourite flower colours, my preference being blues and purples. Here are some which pop up in my back garden every Spring.
I don’t know anything about flowers but I’m guessing they’re bluebells since they’re blue and they looks like bells.
Things I want to have in my home (paintings, hot tubs, book cases, big screen TV etc)
I’ve pretty much got everything in my house that I want/need. The TV in the sitting room is already as big as will fit, though it’s not big by today’s standards (42″).
Catching up on last night’s “Casualty”
I have pictures on the walls and as many book cases as I have wall space for.
My house is full!
Click for a random post!
Woohoo!
I totally didn't win!
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