First Date Haiku

October 24, 2015 28 comments

Dan Alatorre issued a challenge to write a Haiku, a 5-7-5 “syllable” (syllable is the closest we can get to the actual definition) scheme. He provided a link to a random topic generator and we have to write a Haiku on whichever topic appears first (no constantly clicking the button until a “sensible” topic comes up!).

So I clicked on it this morning and got this:

“What’s the worst thing you can say on a first date?”

Oh, Hell. But rulz is rulz. And to be fair, after writing this I clicked a few more times just to see what I could’ve won, and I think I got off quite easily. So here it is!

“Is that your real face?”
Swift knee to groin ends my dreams
Foot in mouth again.

I did try to do more than one but everything came out rather rude :-(.

I have optimistically placed this post in my “Poems” category.

Categories: Poems Tags:

Friday Fictioneers – Something New

October 21, 2015 57 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, which marks Rochelle’s third anniversary as FF host! To celebrate, in a break to usual draliman fare, my story this week is unashamedly a sort of tribute to this landmark. In a sort of analogous way. With the name changed. And the gender. And there’s a bus. But I’m sure you get the idea!

The photo was contributed by Ron Pruitt. Click on the blue froggy for this week’s other stories.

Copyright Ron Pruitt

Copyright Ron Pruitt

 

Fielding thought back to that sunny afternoon, three years ago almost to the day. His life had been good but change is good too, right? So he’d decided to mix things up a bit, take on something new.

He’d boarded that bus back in 2012, ready to visit new territory, meet the challenge. Since that time he’d seen murder and intrigue, philosophy, comedy, pathos, even horror (though he had to admit he wasn’t so keen on the zombies).

Looking back, he knew he’d made the right decision. He’d done good. Everyone said so, and his new undertaking was thriving. Congratulations, Fielding!

 

MFTS – A Bad Job for Rambo

October 20, 2015 43 comments

Here is my story for Barbara’s Mondays Finish the Story. I had trouble thinking of a story for this one. Or rather, I could think of too many stories, none of which “floated my boat”.

The supplied sentence is in bold in my story, and to read this week’s other contributions click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Barbara W. Beacham

Copyright Barbara W. Beacham

 

Not knowing what to expect, he made his way into the dark of the forest.

He wore simple training shoes, a thin t-shirt and shorts. He was prepared for nothing. Had he compass, map, water, rations, even a viciously-sharp machete?

No! He had none of these things.

The trees closed in around him as it began to get dark, and he decided to make camp. Had he matches, tent, sleeping bag?

No! He had none of these things.

The sounds of the forest caused him to shiver in terror, and for good reason. Suddenly, out of the darkness leapt a gaggle of forest creatures. They tore at his stomach, slicing, rending, eating his intestines before his eyes. They clawed at his face, ripping his eyeballs from their sockets. The feeding frenzy continued until, mercifully, he passed away.

BE PREPARED OR RISK A HORRIBLE DEATH
We hope you enjoy your visit to beautiful Bluebell Forest and Honeysuckle picnic spot


Park Ranger Rambo, J
Green Beret (Ret.)

 

Sharing My World 2015 Week 41

October 18, 2015 17 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World for week 41.

share-your-world2

What genre of music do you like?
I like all sorts! Pop and rock are the ones I listen to most. Currently early at work when I’m there by myself I’m alternating between Froot (Marina and the Diamonds), the eponymous album Evanescence and The Book of Souls (Iron Maiden).

Sometimes when a particular chap gets in early he sets the radio channel to Classic FM. It drives me nuts. I keep wanting to order dessert because it makes me feel like I’m in a posh restaurant, or maybe in a lift. I know many people find classical music calming but it winds me up something fierce :-).

What is the worst thing you ate this last week?
I didn’t eat anything bad this last week. I always eat much the same stuff week to week, so it’s unlikely that I’ll eat anything “bad”.

Would you like to be famous?  In what way?
No, I wouldn’t like to be famous. Imagine having people always trying to sneak a peak into your life, taking long-range photos when you’re out shopping and the like. Yeeks!

Complete this sentence:  This sandwich could really use some…
… self respect.

Look at you, sitting there with no mayonnaise. No mustard or condiment of any kind in fact. Call yourself a sandwich? You make me sick, sick I say. Sort yourself out, mister. At least garnish yourself with a little pickle, for Heaven’s sake.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Friday Fictioneers – Stakeout

October 15, 2015 65 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. She also contributed this week’s photo. Click on the blue froggy to see all the other contributions.

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

“Nasty night. This is going nowhere. Wait… eight hours and you haven’t taken a leak! What are you, Officer Iron Bladder?”

“Adult nappy!”

“Adult… wait, I don’t wanna know. Christ.”

“Always prepared, Sarge! Look – camera, spare camera, spare batteries, phone charger, spare phone, sat nav…”

“Christ.”

“No sign of this drug deal going down, Sarge.”

“Stupid place for it anyway. Too much foot traffic on Winslade Avenue.”

“Um, Winslade Avenue? Not Street?”

“What are you telling me, Mr ‘Always Prepared’?”

“Well, it’s been fun, right? So, philosophically speaking, we’re right where we need to be!”

“Christ.”

 

October Sunrise and Sunset

October 13, 2015 16 comments

OctoberSunrise2

OctoberSunrise1

OctoberSunset2

OctoberSunset1

Categories: Photos Tags: , ,

MFTS – Mittens

October 12, 2015 54 comments

Here’s my story for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. We get a photo, an opening sentence (in bold in my story) and then 150 words to finish the story.

Click on the blue froggy for all this week’s contributions. Here is a silly little piece from me for this week.

Copyright B.W. Beacham

Copyright B.W. Beacham

 

Now this is living the life of Riley.

He didn’t know exactly who this “Riley” was, nor whether Riley was upset that he’d had his life hijacked. He only cared that he was living it. Cuddles, food and water courtesy of his human servants, naps whenever he liked, he could pretty much do as he wanted. This “Riley” fellow could get stuffed.

That was fine by Mittens, because Mittens, like all cats, was pretty self-centred. He had his humans wrapped around his little paw. A purr here, some ball-chasing hijinks there and they’d do exactly what he wanted.

The life of Riley indeed! This was a summer that would never end!

Or would it? OR WOULD IT?

Across the street, a dark shape lurked in the undergrowth. It glared at the distant shape of little Mittens and growled. Black tabby Riley wanted his life back and Mittens would pay for living it.

Oh yes, Mittens would pay.

(Dum dum DUM)

 

Sharing My World 2015 Week 40

October 11, 2015 33 comments

Here is my contribution to Cee’s Share Your World. Week 40 already!

share-your-world2

If you have been to a foreign country name those you have been to?
Well, to Cornish Nationalists England, Scotland and Wales are foreign countries so can I claim them? 🙂 On top of those,

  • Germany (up in the north) twice on school exchanges
  • Germany (Stuttgart, in the south) for a year during my first degree
  • Switzerland (for a day trip during the afore-mentioned year in Germany)
  • France a couple of times (day trip and business meeting)
  • The Netherlands a couple of times (business meetings)
  • Ireland (four years)

That’s it, I think. I haven’t been to most of the usual places like Spain. And some places many people go to have become too dangerous or have “changed hands”. My parents managed to visit Crimea shortly before it became unexpectedly Russian.

Is the glass half empty or half full? What type of glass is it and what is in the glass?
Any old glass will do! I’m known as a pessimist (though apparently I’ve been showing a more positive attitude over the last year). So my glass has a dribble of water left in the bottom. There’s a fly floating in it. It’s struggling to get out. But it won’t.

If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would you get?
Hmm, tricky. All the foods I would like an endless supply of would cause massive obesity and early death, like ice cream, chocolate and pizzas. But if the calories, fat, sugar and salt weren’t an issue I’d either go for a premium expensive(ish) chocolate like Thornton’s or Lindt, or an expensive cheese.

List:  List at least five places worth shopping.
Five? FIVE? I pretty much buy everything on Amazon. I buy my groceries at Tesco but it’s neither good nor bad, it’s just “there”. I occasionally get stuff from Argos (like my bed, or small things like shower curtains). I bought my cooker from Appliances Online – I can recommend them, they were very efficient. I bought bedding for my new bed from Dunelm, they have a good range.

There you go, five. Though I’ve only used the last two once each! Looks like I really do buy nearly everything from Amazon.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Friday Fictioneers – The Weight of the World

October 7, 2015 66 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, the weekly 100 word photo prompt hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz, and you can read the other stories by clicking on the blue froggy.

I decided not to take such a literal view of the photo this week. If it doesn’t make sense, hopefully my tags will help.

Copyright Ted Strutz

Copyright Ted Strutz

 

Shuddering, he closed his eyes. How could he make this decision? He couldn’t think.

But the People relied on him. They had elected him to make the Big Decisions. His thoughts whirled, spinning, too fast to grasp. He hoped that at any moment the ride might stop and he could get off, but it only span faster.

At last he took a breath and opened his eyes. Before him stood his Chief of Staff and senior General, standing six feet apart, hands on the console. He nodded solemnly. “The word is given. God forgive us.”

As one they turned the keys.

 

MFTS – Prince Brian

October 5, 2015 68 comments

Here is my story for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. The photo was also taken by Barbara, and the supplied opening sentence is in bold in my story. On top of that we get roughly 150 words to finish the story!

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright B.W. Beacham

Copyright B.W. Beacham

 

Few knew about the castle hidden inside the island.

Prince Brian, Lord of the Island Isles, Protector of the Weak, preferred it that way. But now he crouched, hidden within the castle, listening intently.

There it was again!

A faint voice, distant but getting closer. His arch-nemesis, Grayvon. She’d found him! He huddled deeper into the corner of his castle, fear creeping through his body. This was it. This was the end.

“Brian!” screamed the voice.

Grayvon was approaching! Brian, brave and strong though he may be, was no match for her. He closed his eyes and waited for the end. Suddenly he was bathed in light as the castle roof was ripped off! He gritted his teeth.

“Brian!” snapped Grayvon. “I’ve been shouting for hours! Your dinner’s ready. And when you’re done, put all these cushions and blankets back where you found them, please.”

“Yes, Mum,” muttered Prince Brian, Lord of the Island Isles, Protector of the Weak, as he shuffled off to wash his hands.