First Date Haiku
Dan Alatorre issued a challenge to write a Haiku, a 5-7-5 “syllable” (syllable is the closest we can get to the actual definition) scheme. He provided a link to a random topic generator and we have to write a Haiku on whichever topic appears first (no constantly clicking the button until a “sensible” topic comes up!).
So I clicked on it this morning and got this:
“What’s the worst thing you can say on a first date?”
Oh, Hell. But rulz is rulz. And to be fair, after writing this I clicked a few more times just to see what I could’ve won, and I think I got off quite easily. So here it is!
“Is that your real face?”
Swift knee to groin ends my dreams
Foot in mouth again.
I did try to do more than one but everything came out rather rude :-(.
I have optimistically placed this post in my “Poems” category.
Friday Fictioneers – Something New
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, which marks Rochelle’s third anniversary as FF host! To celebrate, in a break to usual draliman fare, my story this week is unashamedly a sort of tribute to this landmark. In a sort of analogous way. With the name changed. And the gender. And there’s a bus. But I’m sure you get the idea!
The photo was contributed by Ron Pruitt. Click on the blue froggy for this week’s other stories.
Fielding thought back to that sunny afternoon, three years ago almost to the day. His life had been good but change is good too, right? So he’d decided to mix things up a bit, take on something new.
He’d boarded that bus back in 2012, ready to visit new territory, meet the challenge. Since that time he’d seen murder and intrigue, philosophy, comedy, pathos, even horror (though he had to admit he wasn’t so keen on the zombies).
Looking back, he knew he’d made the right decision. He’d done good. Everyone said so, and his new undertaking was thriving. Congratulations, Fielding!
MFTS – A Bad Job for Rambo
Here is my story for Barbara’s Mondays Finish the Story. I had trouble thinking of a story for this one. Or rather, I could think of too many stories, none of which “floated my boat”.
The supplied sentence is in bold in my story, and to read this week’s other contributions click on the blue froggy.
Not knowing what to expect, he made his way into the dark of the forest.
He wore simple training shoes, a thin t-shirt and shorts. He was prepared for nothing. Had he compass, map, water, rations, even a viciously-sharp machete?
No! He had none of these things.
The trees closed in around him as it began to get dark, and he decided to make camp. Had he matches, tent, sleeping bag?
No! He had none of these things.
The sounds of the forest caused him to shiver in terror, and for good reason. Suddenly, out of the darkness leapt a gaggle of forest creatures. They tore at his stomach, slicing, rending, eating his intestines before his eyes. They clawed at his face, ripping his eyeballs from their sockets. The feeding frenzy continued until, mercifully, he passed away.
BE PREPARED OR RISK A HORRIBLE DEATH
We hope you enjoy your visit to beautiful Bluebell Forest and Honeysuckle picnic spot
Park Ranger Rambo, J
Green Beret (Ret.)
Friday Fictioneers – Stakeout
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. She also contributed this week’s photo. Click on the blue froggy to see all the other contributions.
“Nasty night. This is going nowhere. Wait… eight hours and you haven’t taken a leak! What are you, Officer Iron Bladder?”
“Adult nappy!”
“Adult… wait, I don’t wanna know. Christ.”
“Always prepared, Sarge! Look – camera, spare camera, spare batteries, phone charger, spare phone, sat nav…”
“Christ.”
“No sign of this drug deal going down, Sarge.”
“Stupid place for it anyway. Too much foot traffic on Winslade Avenue.”
“Um, Winslade Avenue? Not Street?”
“What are you telling me, Mr ‘Always Prepared’?”
“Well, it’s been fun, right? So, philosophically speaking, we’re right where we need to be!”
“Christ.”
MFTS – Mittens
Here’s my story for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. We get a photo, an opening sentence (in bold in my story) and then 150 words to finish the story.
Click on the blue froggy for all this week’s contributions. Here is a silly little piece from me for this week.
Now this is living the life of Riley.
He didn’t know exactly who this “Riley” was, nor whether Riley was upset that he’d had his life hijacked. He only cared that he was living it. Cuddles, food and water courtesy of his human servants, naps whenever he liked, he could pretty much do as he wanted. This “Riley” fellow could get stuffed.
That was fine by Mittens, because Mittens, like all cats, was pretty self-centred. He had his humans wrapped around his little paw. A purr here, some ball-chasing hijinks there and they’d do exactly what he wanted.
The life of Riley indeed! This was a summer that would never end!
Or would it? OR WOULD IT?
Across the street, a dark shape lurked in the undergrowth. It glared at the distant shape of little Mittens and growled. Black tabby Riley wanted his life back and Mittens would pay for living it.
Oh yes, Mittens would pay.
(Dum dum DUM)
Friday Fictioneers – The Weight of the World
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, the weekly 100 word photo prompt hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz, and you can read the other stories by clicking on the blue froggy.
I decided not to take such a literal view of the photo this week. If it doesn’t make sense, hopefully my tags will help.
Shuddering, he closed his eyes. How could he make this decision? He couldn’t think.
But the People relied on him. They had elected him to make the Big Decisions. His thoughts whirled, spinning, too fast to grasp. He hoped that at any moment the ride might stop and he could get off, but it only span faster.
At last he took a breath and opened his eyes. Before him stood his Chief of Staff and senior General, standing six feet apart, hands on the console. He nodded solemnly. “The word is given. God forgive us.”
As one they turned the keys.
MFTS – Prince Brian
Here is my story for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. The photo was also taken by Barbara, and the supplied opening sentence is in bold in my story. On top of that we get roughly 150 words to finish the story!
To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Few knew about the castle hidden inside the island.
Prince Brian, Lord of the Island Isles, Protector of the Weak, preferred it that way. But now he crouched, hidden within the castle, listening intently.
There it was again!
A faint voice, distant but getting closer. His arch-nemesis, Grayvon. She’d found him! He huddled deeper into the corner of his castle, fear creeping through his body. This was it. This was the end.
“Brian!” screamed the voice.
Grayvon was approaching! Brian, brave and strong though he may be, was no match for her. He closed his eyes and waited for the end. Suddenly he was bathed in light as the castle roof was ripped off! He gritted his teeth.
“Brian!” snapped Grayvon. “I’ve been shouting for hours! Your dinner’s ready. And when you’re done, put all these cushions and blankets back where you found them, please.”
“Yes, Mum,” muttered Prince Brian, Lord of the Island Isles, Protector of the Weak, as he shuffled off to wash his hands.
















