FF – Bloody Tourists
Here is my contribution for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.

Copyright C.E. Ayr
“Oh, how very ‘olde worlde’! Costumed inhabitants, old cars! I think I’ll try some of the ‘olde worlde’ ale! A pint of your finest, my good man.”
“’Ere. Free pahnd fifty.”
“Three pounds fifty? Surely you mean ‘a shilling and six pence, guvnor’?”
“Nah. I mean free pahnd fifty. Guvnor.”
“Oh, well, okay. Hey, this tastes just like regular ale! What about the ‘olde worlde’ experience?”
“Fine. Give it ‘ere.”
(sprinkle tinkle)
“’Ere. Olde worlde experience.”
“Aha! Urk, yeech, bleurgh! Yes, very olde worlde…”
*****
“Frank, you’ve been serving ages. Need a toilet break?”
“Nah, just ‘ad one. Har har. Bloody tourists.”
FF – Children of Light
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J. Hardy Carroll.

Copyright J. Hardy Carroll
They called them “Children of Light”.
They came from a far distant planet. And they glowed. All the time.
They were welcomed by the Humans. Light sources. Energy sources. Even circus performers.
Within a year they were everywhere. Homes, shops, businesses. Militaries. Governments.
Perfectly positioned…
Fortunately for the Humans, the Children of Light were friendly and quite happy to be used as light bulbs.
But beware, Humans! I have learnt from this. For I am disguising my invasion army as useful widgets. And we’re a right nasty bunch of belligerent bastards. Your planet shall be ours!
See you soon.
FF – What a Relief!
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

Copyright Ted Strutz
“I hope my friends are okay in the haunted house. Here I am, stuck viewing everything through this monitor they gave me.”
“Surprise!”
“Huh?”
“Hi, we’re with PRANK TV! We removed the colour via the monitor to make the house look haunted! You’ve been PRANKED!”
“Wow!”
“I’ll tweak the settings… here’s the colour back. Not so haunted-looking now… oh, shit.”

Original copyright Ted Strutz
“No, it’s not. Phew!”
“Um, about your friends…”
“Thank goodness they’re not in a haunted house! I’ll just wait here for my friends to come back out, then.”
“Um. About that. Yeah. I wouldn’t bother waiting…”
FF – Hollywood Rocks!
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo was contributed by Rochelle herself back in November 2014, and according to the photo’s filename is somewhere in Hollywood.
So in this story we find out how Nathan is getting along, after his story in 2014, Land of Broken Dreams.

Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Six years. Six long years of waiting tables and finally, his big break. Hollywood rocks!
Okay, it was just a small TV advert. Okay… an advert for haemorrhoid cream. But he had a line!
‘With our patented cream, never again feel like you’re passing a pine cone! Crap-U-LikeTM – your one stop shop to pain-free plopping!’
So it wasn’t quite what he’d had in mind when he’d left Tinyville so long ago. But it was a foot on the ladder. Who knows, in a few months he could be King of the Bum Cream! Lord of the Laxatives!
Hollywood rocks!
FF – Wear a White Hat
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jennifer Pendergast back in April 2015.
This week I used lots of “tham thars” to add an authentic Wild West feel. I hope I didn’t overdo it 😉
If you want to read a more sensible tale, here’s the story I wrote back in the day.

Copyright Jennifer Pendergast
“Quick, Jed, through tham thar railroad cars an’ inta that thar desert!”
Blam!
“They’s gettin’ closer, Herb!”
“Shuddup an’ run, Jed! Darn, I’m right regretting tham thar grits I ‘ad fer breakfast, all this runnin’.”
“Quit bellyachin’, them varmints is a-comin’ closer!”
Blam!
“Why they shootin’ at us, Herb? We ain’t done nothin’ wrong!”
“I tol’ ya, ya shouldn’t’a bought that thar black hat. I bet in years ta come, bad folks’ll be wearing tham thar black hats in them new-fangled movin’ pictures. Yer ahead-a yer time!”
“Yer red shirt ain’t helpin’!”
Blam!
Splat ☹

















