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Sharing My World Week 33
It’s time to Share My World again, hosted by Cee at her photography blog. Go check out her wonderful photos!
Do you believe in ghosts?
Ooh, ghosts and ghouls and whatnot! Zombies, liches and other assorted undead (believe in one, you believe in all!).
No.
Regardless of your physical fitness, coordination or agility: If you could play any sport professionally what would it be? Or if you can’t picture yourself playing sports, what is your favourite sport?
I guess it would be badminton. I used to play at university and it’s a lot of fun! You also get a good workout, and it’s not a contact sport, except for the occasional contact with a shuttlecock. You wouldn’t believe how painful a smash shot to the unmentionables can be 😦 .
Do you prefer long hair or short hair for yourself?
Short, but I’m planning on being an ageing hippy, so it might have to “go long” while I still have hair! To help out, I’ve done some artist’s impressions of what I might look like with short, long, punk and no hair.
If you were on an small island, who would you want to be with? And where is it? How big is it?
It would be an island in the sea somewhere. Otherwise it wouldn’t be an island. I’d be on my own, as I have no-one special. Boo hoo.
I would have to make sure that I didn’t have people turning up willy-nilly spoiling my island, so some small security measures would have to be in place. I have helpfully drawn up plans.
Home, James
I was reading today how driverless cars are cleared to be on the roads of the UK next year. Yeeks!
The article spoke about the possibility of having a car with no controls, or a car with controls so that the driver can jump in if there’s an emergency. Surely if you’re constantly watching out for problems you might as well be driving?
It also mentioned lorry convoys, where the driver in the first lorry drives and the other lorries follow along behind. Again, these other lorries would have drivers “in case of emergency”, but the article suggested that in the mean time they could perhaps read a book or have lunch.
If they’re reading a book over a nice bit of lunch, how can they take control in an emergency? Many drivers don’t manage to avoid trouble when they’re concentrating, let alone having a nap.
Evil Squirrel’s Competition – Where’s My Nuts?
Evil Squirrel over at the Nest is holding a competition! We get the chance to win UD$20 worth of squirrel-themed thongs, or some such, from his squirrel shop.
Squirrel-themed thongs, I hear you ask? No, I didn’t believe it either – click here for the proof.
According to the rules of the competition, the entry can be anything we like as long as it contains a squirrel, a possum and a unicorn. Sounds like the ideal opportunity to make a childish play on the word “nuts” to me (desperately hoping as I do so that it has the same slang meaning in the rest of the English-speaking world as it does in the UK).
So here is my cute little children’s story – “Where’s My Nuts?” (Warning – not suitable for children, unless they don’t know that “nuts” is slang for “testicles” in which case it’s fine.)
Look At Me!
Smashing – it’s time for the first Friday Fictioneers of 2014! Rochelle is our host, and this week’s photo has been supplied by her daughter-in-law!
How did the doggy get up there?
All the other amazing entries can be viewed here.
As a special “treat” since it is the first Fictioneers of 2014, I have popped one of my infamous DraliDoodles at the end so that you can all gaze in awe1 at my amazing2 artistic skills3.
Notes:
1 – “awe” is an unlikely emotion when viewing DraliDoodles
2 – “amazing” is an incorrect term when used to describe DraliDoodles
3 – “skills” – this word has been used incorrectly in this instance
Copyright – Rochelle’s daughter-in-law
Look at me! Look at me! I am at the top of the tree, oh yes. On top of the world!
Ruler of the planet! Bwahahaha!
Gaze upon me from the ground far below, tiny human child, for I am supreme! I cast my eye over the whole of creation, and I shall rule it all. The grass, the trees, the humans, my fellow canines – all will bow down and pay homage to me!
I am King of the… wait, what’s the female human bringing out? Are those… dog treats? Oh boy! Make way, coming down! Clear the way! Woof!
“Look at me!”, a DraliDoodles special edition for Friday Fictioneers
Happy Holidays!
It’s nearly Christmas! Woohoo!
I’ve switched on the snow on my blog, so it must be nearly here.
Join with me, if you will, in appreciating the most awesome Christmas rhyme of all time…
“‘Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring,
except… the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.”
…taken from the most awesome Christmas film of all time!
Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.
Well, it’s set at Christmas time anyway. So tuck yourself up on the sofa with drinks and snacks and enjoy an evening of mayhem with Bruce!
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to everyone 🙂
[Copyright note: Die Hard theatrical poster taken from Wikipedia, in which it strongly implies “fair use” when using the whole image to describe the film (copyright is believed to belong to the distributor of the film, the publisher of the film or the graphic artist).]
Happy Messages
Last week was a strange week. The week before last I realised I had a load of holiday backed up, and very little time in which to take it! So I booked Monday to Thursday off last week. Usually I have weeks to work myself up to a holiday, but this came upon me rather suddenly.
On Monday, I was ill! This was most disagreeable. This is the first time I’ve had anything worse than a cold since early 2003 (when I had pneumonia), so it came as a bit of a surprise. I’d forgotten how rubbish it feels to be unwell. Even the pneumonia was no big deal – no pain, no discomfort, just a bit breathless. A couple of days in hospital and that was that.
This time I actually threw up! The first time in over eleven years. Yuck 😦 . I can’t even remember when I was ill before that – either all the vodka masked the symptoms or it sent all the bugs and viruses running for the hills.
Run, little diseases, run!
Who Put the Black in Black Friday?
That title sounds like the start of a silly song.
“Who put the ‘Black’ in Black Friday?
Grab stuff before it’s all gone. (dum dum dum dum dum)
Don’t be a snivelling cry-baby,
Crash through the queues and be strong!”
The first I really heard about Black Friday was a couple of years ago via Amazon UK’s Black Friday deals. For a while that’s all we had, but this year one of the “Big Four” supermarkets decided to bring Black Friday to the UK! Yes, it has made its way across “The Pond” and reached our happy shore.
Office Irritations Part 1 – Interruptions
Picture the scene. You’re working away, you’ve just had a great idea and you’re struggling to bring it to fruition. You’re so close, when suddenly…
…there’s someone hanging off your shoulder pestering you for something which only you can provide.
You’ve lost your train of thought! Your mojo’s gone! You were so close to discovering the deepest secrets of the universe, or at least to making Excel do that split-screen thing, and you’ve lost it all because “the printer’s making a funny noise” or “my monitor’s gone all funny”.
Spider Army
Keeps running through my head
I’m worried there’s a spider army
Underneath my bed.
I’m sure that sometimes I can hear
The spiders at their drill
And just the thought they’re coming out
Can give me such a chill!
I fear one day they’ll sally forth
Parade across my floor
Marching all in single file
To slip beneath my door.
They’ll leave my house but make no sound
On tiny, tiny feet
So no-one hears them coming
As they march off down the street.
And eat up all the bread
Or chew the wires in traffic lights
Until they’re stuck on red!
By taking off the lids
Or maybe they’ll invade the school
And frighten all the kids.
Don’t care what they attack
As long as all the little guys
Are never coming back!
Eye Aye
On Saturday I finally went for my eye test. I’ve got the system worked out now.
They send a reminder at around two years. It’s important to ignore this one. After a couple more weeks they send another reminder with a voucher attached for a £5 eye test. Hooray! I save £17.50!
Well, technically I save my work £17.50 because they pay (I spend all day staring at a pair of computer monitors – yes, I get two monitors because I’m just that good :-)).
But I save money all the same – it’s the principal of the thing.
I got a bit of a shock. Not my prescription – my eyes have remained “stable”. Apparently very short-sighted people (i.e. me) are at increased risk of detached retinas.
What? What!
Why has nobody mentioned this before?
The optician took pictures of my eyes and looked at them using a microscope gizmo with a massively bright supernova-like light in it. When I could see again she told me that she could see stretch marks around the edges of my retinas.
Stretch marks! On my eyeballs! Whaaaat! If there’s one place there shouldn’t be stretch marks, it’s in my eyeballs.
This is apparently quite normal in very short-sighted people. I’m afraid to nod my head now in case my retinas suddenly fall off.
She advised me to avoid extreme sports. I asked her if I looked like the sort of person who did extreme sports? Or, indeed, any sports? Does covering a pizza with half a bottle of Tabasco sauce and then scoffing the whole thing down count as an extreme sport, I wonder? Could the heat from the Tabasco cause my retinas to fly out of my head?
I’ll have to remember to be careful of my eyes the next time I go base-jumping, parachuting or bungee jumping.
Click for a random post!
Woohoo!
I totally didn't win!
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