History Repeats
It’s Monday and that means it’s time for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story. We get a photo prompt and an opening sentence plus 150 words to complete the story. For this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.
The supplied sentence is in bold in my story.
Copyright Barbara W. Beacham
The neighbours were not happy about my choice of yard art.
First they tries light hearted banter.
“Blimey, mate, what’s the ‘ell’s that? Not keeping it, are you?”
After a week they’re done mincin’ words.
“Listen, chum, I’m not meaning to be rude, but that’s an eyesore, ya know? You gonna move it or what?”
I ignore them, miserable gits.
Then it gets serious. I comes out in the mornin’ and find the Native American covered wi’ paint. Makes him look somehow diseased.
I says nothing. They says nothing. They know I know it were them.
Next day, someone’s shot holes in the bison with an air rifle. The day after that, the Native American has both his arms shot off. These neighbours come over from England couple a’ years previous. Settlers, you might say. Suddenly I got a diseased-looking Native American and a shot bison.
Funny how history repeats. Maybe tomorrow I’ll complete the cycle and scalp the bastards.
Sharing My World 2015 Week 14
Sunday is the day that I write my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
What type of music relaxes you the most or do you prefer silence?
Tricky. I don’t listen to music for relaxation all that much. It’s not easy to get me into a relaxed state.
I listen to many different genres. Sometimes I’ll go down the “harder” end – Iron Maiden, The Pretty Reckless, Evanescence. Sometimes in the middle somewhere – Pink Floyd, Florence and the Machine, Marina and the Diamonds, Queen, Status Quo. Currently at work I’m listening to multiple Abba albums on a shuffled loop.
To really relax, I’d probably go for Mike Oldfield. Maybe Enya. Music for me is usually on while I’m doing something else, like driving. When I listen to it at work, it can give me a real boost.
Show us a two of your favourite photographs. Explain why they are your favourite. If you are not a photographer, think of a two favourite scenes in your life and tell us about them.
This is a tricky one. I love scenes around family occasions, but do I have any pictures? Probably somewhere.
I take a lot of photos of the scenery around here. In fact, I went out this morning to Bedruthan Steps, which used to be miles away but is now quite close since I moved house. So here are a couple from this morning, just as the sun was coming up. I wanted to try out my new camera, which arrived last week! For those of you who care, it’s a Panasonic Lumix DMC-G6. I don’t know what the experienced photographers think about this low-middle-end camera, but it’s good enough for me and got good reviews!
I left all the settings on “automatic” as I don’t really know what I’m doing yet! Of course I could have got similar pictures with my phone, but I’m excited to start trying things out, like a slower shutter speed to blur out water. I also have a zoom lens coming next week, so I can try to get close-up pictures of bunny rabbits :-).
What is your favourite tradition? (family tradition, church tradition, whatever)
Family Christmas! It has changed over the years. Granny used to come down from Scotland and she’s no longer with us, and my brother and his girlfriend don’t always make it for Christmas dinner, but I love driving over to my parents’ house in time for coffee, chatting, having Christmas lunch and so on.
If you could go back and talk to yourself at age 18 what advice would you give yourself? Or if you are younger than 25 what words of wisdom would you like to tell yourself at age 50?
I’d probably be better off keeping my mouth shut. Failing that, I’d try “Shit happens. It’s going to happen to you. Just roll with it, it’ll get better.”
Here Today…
It’s Friday Fictioneers time, hosted by Rochelle.
I haven’t felt very well the last couple of days and couldn’t come up with anything cleverly witty, but I finally put something together. This week’s photo comes from Jennifer Pendergast.
To read all the other stories for this week, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Jennifer Pendergast
Bartholomew stared out across the desert, watching it shimmer in the heat. Seemingly barren, he knew it teemed with life. Such rugged beauty, stretching endlessly into the distance, a primitive land where only the strong could survive.
He reached into his backpack and retrieved his camera, snapping off a shot. “Desert framed by Railway Carriage” would look good on his wall, he thought.
Finally tearing his gaze from the awe-inspiring sight, he motioned with his hand. The sides of the carriages dropped, disgorging trucks, bulldozers, all manner of equipment.
The desert’s all very well, he thought, but everybody loves a mall.
No Happy Endings
Here is my contribution for Barbara Beacham’s Mondays Finish the Story.
We get a photo and a starting sentence and then 150 words on top. It appears to be fairy tale time this week, so that’s what I’ve written! Thanks to my rather odd sense of humour, my story makes me laugh. Ha ha.
To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy. The supplied sentence is in bold in my story.
Copyright Barbara W. Beacham
Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a pixie called Mike. Pixie Mike.
All the other pixies made fun of him. They all had cool pixie names while Pixie Mike was stuck with “Mike”. Floats With Flowers, Runs With Unicorns and Sleeps With Fairies never stopped taunting him.
Pixie Mike was very upset.
One day a great evil came to Pixie Land and all the other pixies ran to hide. Pixie Mike saw his chance to save Pixie Land! The other pixies would never make fun of him again. All he had to do was cross the Chasm of Terror and retrieve the Orb of Light.
He stepped tentatively onto the bridge and inched across. “I’m going to make it!” he thought.
But halfway across he slipped, fell into the chasm and broke both his legs. Because real life’s not a fairy tale. Bad things happen.
And nobody lived happily ever after. Especially not Pixie Mike, who finally got his pixie name. Stumbles and Splatters.
Sharing My World 2015 Week 13
Here is my contribution to Cee’s Share Your World, the weekly challenge where we answer four questions posed by Cee.
What was your favourite subject in school?
Definitely not maths or Latin. Yuckity yuck yuck!
I enjoyed Physics, which is what I went on to study. I also really liked English Language – that’s the grammer/composition part. I didn’t like English Literature. Wordsworth, Shakespeare, Dickens, Austen, Bronte(s). I know these are the “classics” but life’s too short. Sorry.
Now if this gang had written “The Taming of the Vampire”, “A Midsummer Night’s Werewolf” or “Wuthering Decapitations” I might be interested.
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away” (George Carlin). When have you had such a moment?
Hmm. I’m not sure I ever have. I’ve seen lovely landscapes and such which were “breathtaking” but I never got a massive emotional reaction from them to the extent that this question suggests, just a feeling of contentment. I don’t like sudden highs and lows anyway.
What’s your choice: jigsaw, crossword, or numeric puzzles?
I’ve never tried numeric puzzles – my maths is horrendous. I have no general knowledge whatsoever so I can’t do crosswords (unless they’re aimed at kids). So that leaves jigsaws, though the last one I did was a Star Trek one and that was a few decades ago.
If I did a jigsaw I’d have to put it in a frame, though. I wouldn’t be able to spend hours making something only to tear it apart immediately.
If you found an obviously abandoned car with $50,000 in the back seat, what would you do?
I’d call the police. This amount of money in an abandoned car? It must belong to drug dealers or the mob, and they’d miss even a single dollar, I reckon. Plus it would take ages to convert it all to pounds without “attracting attention”.
Even if it doesn’t belong to anyone, taking it would be theft. The concept of “finders – keepers” doesn’t exist in law (in the UK anyway). I wouldn’t do well spending time at “Her Majesty’s Pleasure”. I’m too pretty :-).
Mind the Step
It’s Friday Fictioneers time, hosted by Rochelle. Here’s a rather silly story befitting quite a mad photo, which came to us from Lauren Moscato by way of Amy Reese.
You’d think I’d have a million ideas for this photo, but no. Or perhaps the problem is that I have a million ideas but no decent ending. Here’s what I decided on in the end.
To see this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Lauren Moscato
Sitting in their van, the builders watched as a dog shot out of the doggie door, pedalled its legs comically in mid-air and then crashed to the ground.
“When he said ‘add a second storey’, d’ya think he meant ‘on the top’?” asked one.
“Dunno,” said the other. “If that’s what he wanted, he should have said so. I taped a sign to his door, just in case.”
“What’d it say?”
“Mind the step.”
“Nice.”
The door opened and a very irate owner stared out.
“Did he pay up front?”
“Yup.”
“Good. Let’s get out of here before he finds a ladder.”
Never Happy
Here is my contribution to Mondays Finish the Story, hosted every week by Barbara Beacham. We get a photo, a starting sentence and 150 words.
I was very busy at work and couldn’t think of a story so I’ve done some dialogue. A little snippet of life, between two old friends, perhaps, meeting for lunch. Or maybe a husband and wife.
Click on the blue froggy to read the other stories. The opening sentence is in bold in my story.
“Pizza anyone?”
“Mmm, pizza. Food of the gods.”
“Food of the gods?”
“Pizza – Italian, right? Italy, Rome, Roman gods – Zeus and such. QED.”
“’Jupiter.’ Zeus was Greek, moron.”
“Whatever. Dig in! Mmm. Argh! Wait! What is this nonsense?”
“What’s wrong now?”
“A strange taste… in my mouth… little black globes of death…”
“Olives.”
“Olives? Urgh.”
“If you don’t like them pick them off, for God’s sake. Stop making a meal out of everything.”
“Ha! ‘Meal.’ Well punned.”
“Can I have your olives, then?”
“If you’re sure you wanna risk it, go ahead.”
“If you don’t like olives, why did you order olives?”
“You gotta take the good with the bad.”
“But you’re picking the ‘bad’ off.”
“It’s the principal of the thing. Pass me the garlic bread.”
“’Please’ would be nice.”
“Mmm, garlic bread. Argh! A strange taste… in my mouth… little shredded cloves of death…”
“That’s the garlic. Shoot me now.”
Sharing My World 2015 Week 12
It’s time for me to participate in Cee’s Share Your World challenge. Here goes!
When was the last time you sat on a park or garden bench for more than ten minutes? Describe the occasion.
Ten minutes is actually quite a long time. When I’m out walking somewhere nice I generally only sit for a couple of minutes and then I’m keen to see what’s around the next corner.
I think the last time I sat for more than ten minutes was in my back garden last summer. I had bought a sun lounger and I sat out for about 45 minutes reading a book. Since it was “only 45 minutes” I didn’t use and sun tan lotion so I got a bit burnt on the legs :-(.
Would you ever be interested in observing a surgery or do you turn away when the nurse brings out the needle?
I’m not squeamish about needles. I often look as I’m intrigued by the blood suddenly spurting into the container. I watch surgeries on TV dramas (never reality, only fiction). I would not like to see surgery performed for real on an actual person, whether it be on TV or live.
In fact, having seen surgeries on TV I’m scared about having surgery in real life. The surgeons always seem to be chatting about their relationships or having meltdowns. I suppose that’s just required to advance the storyline, though!
Where’s your favourite place to take out-of-town guests?
Back to the railway station/airport. Begone, foul out-of-town guests bwa-ha-ha!
There are so many lovely places here. It would depend on their preference.
Woodland (Cardinham Woods):
Cliffs and whatnot (Tintagel):
Gardens (Trelissick):
If you had an unlimited shopping spree at only one store, which one would you choose? Why?
I would imagine I’d go for an electronics-type shop. That way I could get a whole bunch of computers and cameras and stuff.
Merby’s Beatles Competition!
Merbear over at Knocked Over by a Feather is having a competition! Thanks for the timely reminder about that today, Mer!
Merbear is a huge Beatles fan, and her challenge is to do a post based on one of several snippets of Beatles lyrics she has supplied. I have chosen this one, from “Across the Universe”. This song has now been stuck in my head all day!
Words are flowing out like
Endless rain into a paper cup
They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe.
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
Are drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me
I thought I’d take you back in time, back to 1960s Liverpool to watch two of the Fab Four at work as they come up with these lyrics. Imagine Flower Power. Imagine free love, the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament and whacked out hippies. Let’s drop in on John and (not yet Sir) Paul and see what’s going on, shall we?
(Cue spooky music and swirly effect so we all know we’re going back in time…)
“I can’t think of a new song. The words keep slipping away from me, like all the way across the universe, man.”
“Hey, that’ll do for a title. ‘Across the Universe’. Profound. Take a toke on this and see if it helps.”
(Puff puff)
“So what do you see?”
“Wow. Colours. Lights. Rain falling into a paper cup.”
“Cool!”
“Yeah! And there’s words too. Slithering around the place.”
“We can work with that. What else?”
“There’s sorrow and joy in pools and waves, man.”
“Good, good…”
“My mind’s all, like, open, and it’s caressing me and all sorts…”
“Yes, yes, very sensual, I like it.”
“And then it’s all like ‘goo goo g’joob’.”
“Always with the walrus. What’s the matter with you?”
“Sorry, man.”
(Cue swirly effect again…)
And thus, “Across the Universe” was born. Thank you for your time.
Moving On
Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, the weekly 100-ish word flash fiction challenge hosted by Rochelle. This week’s picture comes from David Stewart.
I’m still in a weird mood but here’s a bit of odd dialogue for you. I had a whole run of comedies and then recently it’s all gone a bit sombre. Hey ho.
For this week’s other stories, click on the little blue froggy. Here he is!
Copyright David Stewart
“The horn player’s out of tune.”
“He is a bit. You’re right.”
“That used to be me, you know. Before my lungs began to fail.”
“I know. You were good.”
“I was. I was good. Not like that fellow.”
“I’m sure he’ll improve with time. You weren’t always good, were you?”
“I suppose not. Will there be a brass band where I’m going?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you know? You’re an angel.”
“‘Facilitator’. I told you. I help you move on. That’s all. Where you go is a mystery to me. But I’m sure you’ll find your brass band.”
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Woohoo!
I totally didn't win!
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