Nip and Tuck
Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers for this week. Friday Fictioneers is a 100-ish word challenge hosted by Rochelle over at Addicted to Purple.
You’d think I’d have a million ideas for this week’s photo, contributed by Jean L. Hays. But no! It started off as comedy dialogue, but it got shreddited (shredded during editing – get it?).
I ended up trying to make a point. Sort of. Maybe. Then I shreddited this version as well. Not really my thing, but here it is anyway.
Click on the blue frog to see other contributions for this week.
Copyright Jean L Hays
Once, Adam Automobile had been happy.
But the cars on the billboards and in the adverts looked so – sexy! Suddenly his corners weren’t sharp enough. His lines weren’t sleek enough.
So… a nip here. A tuck there. A shovel on the front. Digger welded on the back. Made him look like a scorpion.
This is an improvement. Isn’t it?
Fame, fortune, women!
They’d laughed at him. They’d all laughed at him.
So here he sat, his bodywork mutilated in the pursuit of an impossible dream, a fantasy look.
But… maybe… a little more bodywork. Just a little nip here, a tuck there…
Once, Adam Automobile had been happy.
Sharing My World Week 43
It’s time to Share my World again. This is a weekly challenge hosted by Cee over at her photography blog – go check out her wonderful photos. Thanks for posing the questions, Cee!
What is your favourite time of day?
This is a tricky one. I’m a morning person in terms of getting things done, so I start work quite early. I really enjoy the evenings though, especially in the winter when I can snuggle up in the living room with the fake fire on.
Action shot of my fake fire.
The middle of the day is rubbish. I’ve started to get tired from my early start, but it’s ages until the evening.
What’s your favourite charitable cause and why?
Probably Macmillan Cancer Support. They help cancer sufferers, send round nurses, give advice and so on.
How do you like to spend a rainy day?
Watching TV, playing on my PS4. Colour me boring :-(.
When writing by hand do you prefer to use a pencil or pen?
I don’t prefer writing by hand at all. My handwriting has gone seriously downhill over the years, whether a result of age, laziness or lack of use I don’t know. I prefer pens to pencils because they “slip” across the page more easily, if you see what I mean. Pencil would probably improve my handwriting though, as “easily slipping” across the page is part of the problem, I fear.
Here’s an example I’ve scanned in. It appears to be a rapid “brain-to-page” poem-type thing I must have had some ideas about a while ago. If you can make any of it out, it appears to be about some cute little birds, then some lines I haven’t worked out yet (the dotted lines), then they all die! Presumably because they didn’t get up early, didn’t catch any worms and starved to death.
Does anyone know what this says?
That’s all for this week!
Spooky Puppy!
As some of you know, I always buy Puppies on a Roll toilet paper, and each pack gives me Puppy Points, until the end of the year anyway, when the scheme ends :-(.
I have used some of my last points to get a frightening, horrifying Halloween scene! Are you ready? Are you sure? Here goes…
Horrifying! Spooky!
Come out from behind the sofa! Here’s an aerial view.
We’re safer up here in the sky.
Will our intrepid puppy summon his courage and enter the haunted house?
Scary stuff!
I hope I didn’t scare anyone 🙂
Altered Reality
It’s Wednesday, and we all know what that means, don’t we? That’s right, Friday Fictioneers, the Friday writing challenge on a Wednesday! The photo we will be writing our 100-ish word stories about this week has been contributed by Melanie Greenwood and our host as always is Rochelle over at Addicted to Purple.
To read all the other stories for this week, click on the little blue frog below.
The window in this week’s photo looks tailor-made for someone to go flying through, don’t you think? 🙂
Copyright Melanie Greenwood
As head tester for ImmersiveTech Games, Jeff was hugely impressed by their latest virtual reality prototype. “Moving” into the simulated hotel room, he could sense the fear of his victims, feel their blood splatter his face as he pulled the trigger. He yelled with joy at the experience as a grenade exploded, blowing his avatar through the window onto the balcony.
“GAME OVER.”
His brain registered the simulated impact and shut down, believing he had died. Moments later, his body followed.
As his corpse was removed, a researcher made notes on his tablet.
Too realistic. Reduce bio-feedback.
Bribe coroner. Again.
Hire new tester.
Sharing My World Week 42
It’s Sunday morning and therefore time for me to Share My World again. Thanks as always for hosting and posing the questions, Cee!
What would be your preference, awake before dawn or awake before noon?
If I’m awake before dawn, I’m automatically awake before noon as well!
Seriously, though, I’m very much a morning person so I prefer to get up early, whenever I wake up (within reason). Not on a school morning, though. I have trouble getting up when I have to go to work!
On a weekend or a day off, I often have an afternoon nap to make up for any lost morning sleep. My bedtime at the moment is around 10pm.
If you could choose between Wisdom and Luck, which one would you pick?
Luck is all very well, but I think I’ll go for wisdom. Hopefully one day I will be wise enough to make my own luck!
Anyway, the question doesn’t actually specify “good” luck. Let’s not take any chances.
If you were given the opportunity for free skydiving lessons would you take them? Why or why not?
No way. Maybe once, but not any more. I’ve never had any broken bones and I don’t intend to start now. I’m not very adventurous and I always see the worst case scenario. Just thinking about skydiving, I can feel myself splattering against the ground in a tragic accident.
Since I’m so short-sighted I’ve been told I’m at risk of detached retinas and to avoid hard knocks to the head, so splattering against the ground would not be good for my eyesight. I would imagine skydiving might also invalidate my life insurance, as they need to know if you do anything “dangerous”, lifestyle-wise.
With all this over-thinking and worry, it’s a wonder I summon up the courage to get out of bed. I think I worry about dying of terminal bed sores.
Is the glass half empty or half full? What is in the glass?
After my last answer, can you guess?
That’s right, it’s half-empty. Probably a little less than half. It contains contaminated water. Or maybe lemonade that’s got all warm and lost its fizz.
In Plain Sight
It’s Friday Fictioneers time again, and I hear that it’s Rochelle’s second year anniversary as fearless leader of our little group. Congratulations, Rochelle, and thank you!
For the second week in a row I had trouble thinking of a story and I eventually ended up with this. I hope you enjoy it! The photo this week was contributed by The Reclining Gentleman.
Don’t forget to click on the little blue froggie to see all this week’s other contributions.
Copyright The Reclining Gentleman
Maximillian Zerrissen gazed mournfully across the lake. Behind him were plaques which, when depressed in the correct order, would cause the water to drain away to reveal a huge dish capable of focussing his patented death ray.
When he had started building his secret evil lair all this had been woodland. Due to a combination of recession and labour shortages, it had taken so long to complete that a whole community had sprung up around the site. Somebody would be bound to notice his evil-doing.
The waste of money smarted less than his subsequent demotion within the evil-doers community from “Evil Genius” to “Second Henchman”. Read, “Cannon Fodder“.
Sharing My World Week 41
Cee has posed another set of questions to Share My World with, so here goes! Thanks for hosting the challenge, Cee.
Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?
I would definitely prefer to take the pictures. Sets of photos from work Christmas parties are all full of my hand in front of my face, a hastily turned head or a blur off to the side as I make my escape.
I prefer taking photos of scenery rather than people, because I always worry that I’m making the people feel as uncomfortable as I feel when someone’s taking a photo of me.
What did you most enjoy doing this past week?
I guess maybe going for a drive in my new car. See the next question!
It’s got a lot of zip. It’s my mid-life crisis car. I expect next time I’ll get a car more suitable for my age 🙂
Singleness of Purpose
Here’s my contribution for this week’s Friday Fictioneers. This is a 100-ish word photo prompt hosted by Rochelle – be sure to check out her blog! – and this week the photo has been contributed by fellow Fictioneerer Douglas M. MacIlroy. Thanks, Doug!
To view all the other contributions for this week, click the little blue fellow below. Check back often as more are added during the week. Why not have a go yourself? It’s fun 🙂
Copyright Douglas M. MacIlroy
Resolute of purpose, the dreaded Snail Army made its ponderous way towards the art display.
“Look, my soldiers!” roared Snail-Commander. “Our shelled fellows, captured and affixed to wood! We shall rescue them!”
“LIBERATE! LIBERATE!” came the reply.
“We shall destroy their captors!”
“ELIMINATE! ELIMINATE!”
“And then, victorious, we shall eat, drink and be merry!”
“FORNICATE! FORNICATE!”
“Come, death or glory awai… hang on, is that lettuce over there?”
The dreaded Snail Army swivelled to look.
“I believe it is, Commander,” said Snail-Sergeant.
“My friends, we have a new goal!”
Resolute of purpose, the dreaded Snail Army made its ponderous way towards the salad bowl.
Windows in Truro
I was in Truro last week waiting outside a coffee shop for a friend and when I looked up I saw a photo op! I thought I would submit it to Dawn’s “Lingering Look at Windows“, as it has some cool windows in it. This was taken at around 1730, a couple of hours before sunset.
This is the side of the old “Coinage Hall”. A couple of hundred years ago Truro was a “Stannary Town”. Cornwall had a thriving tin mining industry, and ingots were brought to Stannary Towns for assay.
It now houses tea houses and a Pizza Express, though the outside has been left largely untouched.
Sharing my World Week 40
Week 40 already! I wonder how many sleeps there are until Christmas…?
Here’s my answers to Cee’s questions for this week on Share Your World. Thanks for posing the questions, Cee!
You’re given $500,000 dollars tax free (any currency), what do you spend it on?
“Money money money, It’s a rich man’s world” as Abba famously sang in 1976. $500,000 was probably a huge amount of money in 1976 too.
Copyright some music company probably
Tax free? Awesome! First, I need to convert it to pounds so I know how much I’m actually getting – £311,000. It doesn’t sound so much now, but still enough to have fun with! That’s enough to buy a house at the current average house price, with some left over for a car and holiday of a lifetime!
I’d pay off my mortgage, credit cards and so on. That would leave me with some money in the bank and lots of monthly disposable income. I’d maybe have a nice holiday in New Zealand to visit the Hobbits.
What’s the finest education?
Oxbridge? The University of Life? The School of Hard Knocks?
Whatever works for you and lets you get what you want out of life, I suppose.
What kind of art is your favourite? Why?
I don’t really have a favourite. I like different kinds of paintings, different kinds of music, sculptures, literature (if you can call the stuff I read “literature”). I know what I like when I see/hear/read it. That’s my favourite. What I like.
Is there something that you memorized long ago and still remember?
Nope.
You want more? Okay then. “Seasons of mist and mellow fruitfulness, close bosom friend of the maturing sun.” That’s all I got.
I’m hopeless at remembering stuff from long ago. I have friends who seem to remember all sorts of quotes and so on. Not me. I can’t even remember stuff from very recently.
Umm, banana? Pencil sharpener, there’s always a pencil sharpener. Stuffed Aardvark? I’m sure there was a stuffed aardvark…
On the other hand, I can quote most of “Black Adder” and “Red Dwarf” off the top of my head. Very useful.
See you again next week!
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