FFftPP – Motherlode
Here is my story for Roger’s writing challenge Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practitioner. The supplied introductory sentence is in bold in my story.
I had a go at some “1950’s detective” this week. It didn’t quite work but it was a bit of fun :-).
Image public domain
We were within a mile-and-a-half of the service roads when we found it. Right where she said it’d be.
She came ta the office yesterday. Bull Duggan Investigations. I’m Bull Duggan. Pleased ta meet ya. She had legs up ta her ears so I had a listen. Said she knew where it was, tried to charge me for the location. I tried ta stall but she was tough, tough as my wife’s meatloaf. I caved. Paid the broad.
So here I am, slogging through Nowheresville USA like some schmuck on a hiking vacation. ‘Cept this hike’s about to hit the motherlode. I yell at the boy to get his legs moving. Lazy good fer nothin’ but he’s my cousin’s kid. Wanted me ta show ‘im the ropes. You know how that goes.
So we find the guy. He’s long gone. Deader’n a dodo spit roasted over an open fire. The kid chucks. He ain’t got the stomach fer this kinda work. I shoo off the vultures. Some don’t like ‘em, but they’re just surviving, live and let live. I pick through the body. I hit pay dirt.
There it is. Shiny like a brand new nickel. The Maltese Budgie. Pay day. Now to track down that broad…
Sharing My World 2016 Week 2
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World for this week.
Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?
Apparently there are at least a hundred billion galaxies in the known universe. Each contains a gazillion stars. Even if only one in every billion billion stars has a habitable planet (that is, habitable by any sort of life) that’s still a lot of possibility for life!
How many places have you lived? You can share the number of physical residences and/or the number of cities.
Quite a few. As a student particularly I moved around a lot, on and off campus. Let me have a think.
- Cornwall, SW England – 5 different places
- Surrey, SE England – 4 different places
- Hampshire, SE England – 1 place
- Hertfordshire, SE England, 1 place
- Stuttgart, S Germany, 2 places
- Cork, S Ireland, 2 places
Let’s add all that up. Let’s see, 4 plus 5, carry the 10, multiply by the day of the week, add Sunday, subtract the remainder, add the number I first though of… wow, 27,453! That’s a lot of places.
If you given $22 million tax free dollars (any currency), what is the first thing you would do?
I’d pay off my debts. That wouldn’t make much of a dent in 22 million, though. Then I would have a little holiday in New Zealand to visit the Hobbits.
The Never List: What are things you’ve never done? Or things you know you never will do?
I’ve never jumped out of, or off anything high up. That’s a good thing. I’ve never gone swimming with sharks. That’s a good thing too!
As for things I’ll never do, I’ll never use super powers to transport myself to the centre of the Sun where, protected from the heat by a personal shield I will never open a burger bar, catering to the hungry sun-dwellers.
I’m pretty sure I’ll never do that.
FF – Letting Go
Here is my story for the weekly Friday Fictioneers challenge, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s picture was contributed by Amy Reese. Thanks, Amy :-).
For the other stories this week, click on the blue frog.
Copyright Amy Reese
“Oh, Sally, look. It’s a complete mess already. Weeds, sticks…”
“Hun, it’s been weeks.”
“Has it been that long? It seems like only yesterday.”
Sally looked at her husband, eyes brimming with concern. It had been three months since the funeral. She took his arm. “Come on, we’d best go inside. Do you feel ready?”
Grief etched on his face, Harold looked up at the house, a house now empty of life. He placed one tentative foot on the detritus-covered steps and froze. “No… no, not today. Maybe tomorrow?”
“That’s okay, sweetheart. We’ll try again tomorrow.”
FFfAW – Long Gone
Here is my story for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. This week’s photo was contributed by Etol Bagam. Click on the blue frog for this week’s other stories.
Copyright Etol Bagam
“And here we have what was known as a ‘bar’. Please feel free to look around, and ask me any questions you wish.”
The crowd wandered around the little room, oohing and aahing.
“Excuse me, what was this strange table for?”
“We believe it was an educational tool. These balls probably represented planets, and helped patrons understand gravitational mechanics.”
The crowd oohed and aahed some more.
“What was in these bottles?”
“A good question! These held a flavoured mixture of toxic chemicals. They imbibed this mixture, would you believe?”
The crowd looked shocked.
“And these little plates held the burnt remains of a poisonous weed, smoked by the patrons.”
“My goodness,” said one of the crowd. “It’s no wonder they all died!”
“Indeed. After they blew their world apart, all our survey team found was this one little room, which we carefully transported across the galaxy to this museum. We can only thank Przzglub that these self-destructive hoomans never developed interstellar travel.”
The crowd nodded in agreement as they moved to the next exhibit.
Sharing My World 2016 Week 1
Here are my answers for Cee’s Share Your World.
As a child, who was your favourite relative?
Ooh, I can’t answer that, I might upset someone!
If you could be a tree or plant, what would you be?
I think maybe a cactus. I quite like the scenery in “cactus country” so I could just sit there all day admiring the view.
What would be your preference, awake before dawn or awake before noon?
I would like to be awake before dawn. I’m more of a morning person and I always wake up quite early even if my alarm is not set.
Would you like to sleep in a human size nest in a tree or be snuggled in a burrowed spot underground?
Definitely underground. That sounds quite snug and warm while the tree nest sounds very exposed. I wouldn’t want to be up there high winds and driving rain. Of course, I’d have to be sure that my burrow has adequate drainage in case of those heavy rains!
Over Exposure
I had trouble with Friday Fictioneers this week and I had trouble with this story too! Do you ever get weeks when the story just won’t come?
This photo comes from Pixabay.
Picture from Pixabay.com
“So, what do you think?”
“It’s rubbish. It’s set all wrong. I can see right through you. All I see is bones.”
“Perfect. The perfect diagnostic tool.”
“I wanted to see you in your underwear! This is no good.”
“Pig. Is that all you think about? This will help thousands in hospitals everywhere.”
“If you adjust it to see people naked, instead of selling it to a few hundred desperate hospitals you’ll sell it to three billion horny men.”
“I’m warning you…”
“Come on, Suzie…”
“Dr Chapman!”
“Whatever, come on, I wanna see you with no clothes on. Twiddle the settings.”
“Right, you sexist moron, that’s it…”
Two days later…
“… and as you can see, ladies and gentlemen, even without an autopsy my Diagnosticon (patent pending) allows you to see that a scalpel penetrated the kidney area, proving that he accidentally stabbed himself in the back while delivering sexist comments…”
Friday Fictioneers – Going Green?
Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo this week was contributed by Melanie Greenwood.
You’d have thought a picture with a plane in it would have instantly forced any number of stories into my head, but no! Finally, I came up with this one.
To read this week’s other stories, click on the little blue froggy.
Copyright Melanie Greenwood
“Ah, the sleek lines, the beautiful curves… one’s aeroplane is not bad either!”
“Oh, Tarquin, you’re making me blush.”
“Come, darling Genevieve, let us board our jet.”
“Indeed, light of my life. Are the Farquharson-Smythes also attending?”
“Why of course, my scrumptious sweetmeat, that’s their aircraft just leaving the runway.”
“Super. I say, you there, watch what you’re doing with the luggage! That’s genuine snow tiger pelt! You can’t get the staff.”
“True, my love. Come, we must away! The ‘Rich Hypocrites Save Our Beautiful Green Planet Benefit’ waits for no man. Fly, Jeeves, and don’t spare the jet fuel!”
FFftPP – A New Job
Here is my contribution to Roger’s first ever “Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practitioner” challenge. The rules, in brief:
- Up to 200 words
- A beginning, middle and end (no serial stories)
- A photo and (optional) opening sentence are provided
- Content to be PG-13. It will be a new challenge not to include any hideous deaths in my writing 🙂
The supplied sentence is in italics in my story.
Click on the blue froggy for the other entries!
Image public domain free stock photo
Of all the places I thought I would end up on New Year’s Eve I can’t believe it’s here. I used to be somebody. I used to be a contender. Last New Year’s Eve I was in a boxing gym. I saw the greats. I was punched by pretty much anybody who was somebody.
Okay, so I’m a bunch of processed petrochemicals. I don’t get a choice of career.
But the boxing gym… Oh, the joy as a gloved fist smacked me hard. Those people knew how to live!
Whap – boing! – whap – boing!
Life doesn’t get any better than that.
And now I’ve been recycled as a bowling pin. I still get smacked in the face, but it’s not so personal any more, you know? Just a ball rolled down an aisle. There’s no finesse. No “up close and personal”. Trashed by a random unknown at long range. Oh, the dents I’ve suffered. The indignity of it all!
Here comes another one. It’s swerving, it going to miss me, it’s just gonna clip the edge… ouch! Tough luck, Chester, my fellow pin-at-arms. That had to hurt! Hey! No strike this time, loser. Loooserrrrr!
Sharing My World 2015 Week 52
Here is the last of my posts for Cee’s Share Your World for 2015. Even though I didn’t get round to squeezing it out in 2015 :-).
Tell how you are feeling today in the form of a weather report. (For example, partly cloudy, sunny with a chance for showers, etc.)
Misty and drizzling with a small possibility of sunshine poking through on occasion, mostly at the weekends.
(This is the wrong question to ask me in January. January sucks!)
What is most memorable about your high school years?
I don’t know the age range for “high school” so I’ll assume 12-16. I have a little list!
- Two school trips to London
- Rushing out of class at break time to grab a tennis court
- Playing yo-yo’s at break time
- Triple Latin (not memorable in a good way)
- Summer holidays which seemed to last forever, back in the days when the sun actually came out during the summer
Have you ever owned a rock, pet rock, or gem that is not jewellery?
“Pet rock”? Is that a thing?
I had one or two nice little rocks that we’d bought from visiting mines and whatnot. I think one was a lovely amethyst.
Complete this sentence: I like watching…
… all manner of things, mainly on Netflix and Amazon Prime. I’ve just finished “Hemlock Grove” and “How to Get Away with Murder” (series one) on Netflix, and I’m currently watching “Sleepy Hollow” and “The Walking Dead” (series 4) on Amazon. There’s always something to watch on those two services.
And finally, in case anyone is interested, you can click here to read my 2015 annual report, which I think I have successfully made “public”.
“The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 20,000 times in 2015. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 7 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.”
As recommended above by WordPress, I have tried to book Sydney Opera House for a blog performance, but I haven’t heard back yet :-(.
Friday Fictioneers – Backwards
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, the weekly flash fiction challenge hosted by Rochelle. The photo was provided by Jean L Hays. It’s apparently another rerun, but before my time!
If you look closely, everything outside the window is the wrong way round! I’m still trying to get my brain to work out the specifics of it all :-(.
To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Jean L. Hays
“Open your eyes and take a look outside.”
“Everything’s… backwards! You weren’t kidding. The 708 Fulton really is a dimensional transport vehicle! Who’d’a thunk it?”
“Indeed! How old do you think I am?
“Um… thirty-five, thirty-six maybe?”
“Three hundred and five.”
“Wha…”
“Time travels backwards here. For every year I spend in our world, I spend a year here… getting younger! The net effect? I never age!”
“Woah… really?!”
“No, not really! Man, you’re so gullible! I positioned a mirror while your eyes were closed.”
“Whaaa… grrrrrr!”
“?eeffoc fo puC. eeh eeH”
“!ylevoL”
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Woohoo!
I totally didn't win!
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