FFfAW – Countdown
I thought I’d have my first go at Priceless Joy’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. This involves a photo (this week contributed by Sonya) and 100-150 words (+/-25).
I immediately saw an Apollo landing thingumy when I saw this picture :-). Click on the blue froggy to read the other stories.
Copyright Sonya from “Only 100 Words”
“What the Hell sort of landing was that? We were supposed to splash down in the sea!”
“I’m guessing we didn’t. Millions of miles of ocean and we missed. Maybe restarting the Apollo missions was a bad idea.”
“Well, we’re back home and safe! The three heroes. Any landing you can walk away from, and all that…”
“We’re safe. Lieutenant Wilkins wasn’t so lucky.”
“Why, what’s wrong with him?”
“Scoot round and take a look. His acceleration couch failed.”
“Woah, nasty. That’s just wrong. I’m not cleaning that up. And then there were two…”
“Well, best disembark, I suppose. Just get out of these straps…”
“Careful you don’t slip on Wilkins on the way out.”
“Urgh! Just open the door here… half a million miles and now we’re home… ahhhhhh!” (splat)
“Wow, how’d we end up all the way up here? And then there was one…”
Friday Fictioneers – Christmas Cat Goes Clubbing
Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Scott L. Vannatter. That looks a lot like a driving licence in front of the cat, I wonder what he’s up to…?
To read the other stories for this week, click on the blue froggy. And have a wonderful Christmas everyone :-).
Copyright Scott L. Vannatter
Meow. Let’s see, that’s my fake ID ready. Name: “Pussy Willow”. Date of birth: “27/01/2012”. That should get me in.
I hear all the clubs are full of the cutest kitty cats at Christmas-time (whatever that is – all I know is at this time of year there’s loads of paper and boxes to play with).
Do I have everything? ID… check. Catnip… check. Have to hide that somewhere the bouncers won’t find it.
I’m gonna get some action tonight. Meeeeeow!
Have fun everyone, but drink your milk responsibly and take it easy with the catnip. Merry Christmas (whatever that is)!
Sharing My World 2015 Week 50
It’s week 50, and time for my Share Your World post, hosted by Cee.
Favourite thing to photograph? Write? Or Cook?
Photograph – nature scenes, like this scene at St. Nectan’s Glen.
Write: darkly humorous death fiction bwahahaha 🙂
Cook: Pizzzzzzaaaaa!
Yum
Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing?
Swinging? Whayhay! Oh, right, I see. Yes, it was fun. Whenever I see a swing I want to have a go, but firstly they’re too small, secondly they may not be rated to my weight and thirdly I’d probably get told off by disgruntled parents who think it’s high time their little Jimmy or Jemima had a go.
What has surprised you about blogging?
That I’ve “met” so many lovely people from all over the world. Who knew I would have so many friends? 🙂
List at least five favourite desserts.
- Black Forest gateau
- Eton Mess
- Strawberry gateau
- Any one of various ice cream concoctions, like knickerbocker glory, banana split and the like
- Pretty much anything else that’s not very good for me 🙂
Friday Fictioneers – Scorched Earth
Here is this week’s tale for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers. Rochelle also provided this week’s photo. To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
“How could this have happened? How could they not have noticed?”
“Maybe it’s hard to notice tiny amounts of chemicals building up in the atmosphere.”
“Until they catch fire and burn the Earth.”
“Yes. Until then.”
“How long do we have, do you think?”
“See that glow? That’s London burning. An hour, maybe?”
“I bet it’s an amazing sight from the space station.”
“I bet it is. The whole world on fire. It’ll burn until the oxygen runs out.”
“So this is the end.”
“For us. The world will recover. Nature always finds a way.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Pizza by Draliman!
I mentioned in a post last week that I was going to try making my own pizza. And I did! Here’s how it all began.
Evil Dr. Zog’s hidden volcano lair
I carefully mixed the flour into the water/yeast/sugar. They don’t tell you that when you do that, the water starts leaking out. And it’s gross. And no matter how much flour you put on your hands, the dough still sticks to you.
That done, it’s time to chop basil for the sauce while waiting for the dough to rise and go springy or whatever.
At last I get to use my big death knife
Fingers still miraculously intact, I check the dough. It has risen, hooray!
Risen and springy and whatnot
Open the fridge – what to put on it? Everything!
Pile it on!
Into the oven and – ta-da!
Yum
My first baking since Home Economics at school, early 1980s. Very tasty!
Sharing My World 2015 Week 49
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.
What would be your ideal birthday present, and why?
Hmm. I really have no idea. I’m not really bothered about birthdays any more. They come, they go…
What colour would you like your bedroom to be?
I’m not all that bothered. Nothing too “in your face”. I don’t notice these things. I’ve lived here going on two years and I have no idea what colour my bedroom is now, or whether it’s paint or wallpaper. Everywhere else is wallpaper so I guess my bedroom is too. If I haven’t noticed it I guess it’s currently some sort of off-white or cream.
Would you prefer snowy winters, or not, and why?
I would ideally, but I have to drive to work and therefore I wouldn’t.
Would you rather go a week without bathing, but be able to change your clothes, or a week without a change of clothes, but be able to bathe?
If I really have to choose, the same clothes but be able to bathe. I could probably make that work for a few days anyway. It would be pretty manky though.
Friday Fictioneers – The Beginning of the End
Here is my tale for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo this week was contributed by Luther Silar.
To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Luther Silar
“Waaaaa! Waaaaa! Uncle Jeremy shot Flapper! Waaaaaa!”
“What the hell did you do, Jerry?”
“I thought that the Christmas turkey had escaped.”
“IT’S YELLOW!”
“Big Bird’s yellow.”
“Big Bird’s not real! Turkey’s aren’t yellow!”
“What is it then?”
“It is… was a ‘Flapper Enhanced Robotic Companion’. Look at Timmy’s little face. You’ve shot his present. You’ve ruined Christmas.”
“Robots? Huh. Good job I shot it, then. It’s the Rise of the Machines. What’s this, now?”
I am Robbie, your helpful Kitchen Companion. You have murdered Flapper. Therefore I will now terminate you.
“See? Told ya.”
Literary Lion – Vera Versus Las Vegas
Here is my post for Laura’s Literary Lion. The prompt word this time is “gamble” and I’ve managed to get it just under the 400 word limit. Which is quite long, but don’t worry, it’s all dialogue!
This is Vera’s third adventure. Vera is a rather doddery old lady from “up North” (of England) who manages to get herself into all sorts of situations but always manages to extricate herself while remaining largely oblivious to the danger she’s in. Her other adventures are Vera Versus the Devil and Vera Versus the Muggers. This time, she’s off on a jolly to Las Vegas, America.
“Eee, look at this place, I think I’ll try the slots…”
Push. Shove.
“… eh, me money ain’t goin’ in…”
Shove. Bang.
“Excuse me Madam, what seems to be the trouble?”
“… ooh, you’re a strapping young lad, jus’ like me friend Ethel’s boy, do ya know ‘im, ‘e’s ‘bout your age, me money won’t go in the machine….”
“Ah, that’s English coinage, Madam, you’ll…”
“… if me money’s good enough fer the Queen (bless ‘er) it’s good enough fer me…”
“You’re in America, now Madam, so you…”
“… when I were a lass, all this were the British Empire…”
“Ha ha, Madam, very funny, now if I could ask you to…”
“… don’t you laugh at me, young man, me cousin Beryl’s youngest daughter’s hairdresser’s second cousin’s granny once stood this close to the Queen this close she’s prac’ly royalty so don’t you laugh at me…”
“I do apologise Madam (security to the slots, security to the slots), if you could just calm down a little…”
“…don’t you tell me to calm down, no respect fer yer elders your generation…”
“FREEZE! Don’t move!”
“… eee, who’s this now, waving yer gun around, what you need is a nice calming cup ‘a tea, now where did I put me flask, here in me handbag…”
“GUN!”
Blam. Ping!
“… eh, will you look at that, you’ve punctured me flask, that’s lovely Yorkshire tea all goin’ ta waste, all the way from England too…”
“Shit, I thought you were reaching for a gun…”
“… it’s just not good enough, does your mamma know you’re running round with a gun…”
“I’m so sorr…”
“… it would never have happened in my day, the youth today, no respect…”
“Madam, please…”
“… shooting people left right and centre, shouldn’t be allowed..”
“Oh God…”
“… there ought ta be a law, shooting little old ladies indeed, I never saw the like…”
“Excuse me, Madam, I’m the manager and as an apology, and on the understanding you never mention this little… incident again, we would like to offer you a thousand dollars worth of chips…”
“… ooh, I could just go some fish ‘n chips right now, that sounds lovely with a nice cup ‘o tea, lead on, did I tell you about me grandchildren, look, here’s a picture, ooh, there’s a bullet hole in it ramble ramble mutter mutter…”
Sharing My World 2015 Week 48
Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World. Week 48? I suppose I need to start thinking about Christmas cards and stuff. I’ll have to go up into the loft in a couple of weeks and get the decorations down, I guess. Yay!
Are you a hugger or a non-hugger?
I’m not a big hugger. I especially never initiate a hug, I’m not about to force me on anyone. And I’m more comfortable hugging women than men. You know us blokes, all macho and whatnot :-).
The only person I hug regularly is my mum :-).
What is your favourite toppings on pizza?
Everything “normal”! “Normal” does not include seafood or pineapple or anything like that. Meat, pepperoni, cheese, tomato, stuff like that.
Is that extra cheese? Why yes, yes it is.
A friend of mine gave me a recipe for pizza base so yesterday I bought flour and yeast and whatnot. I’ll give it a go next week. I haven’t “baked” anything since the 1980s (a jam tart which ended up splattered all over the classroom floor), so wish me luck!
If you were the original designer of one existing corporate logo, which one would you select?
I’ve looked at loads of logos and I can’t really choose one. I’m sure after posting this a really cool one will catch my eye. Therefore, though it’s a charity and not a corporation, I’m going for the World Wildlife Fund, as they have a cute panda.
Complete this sentence: Where I can seek my solace is…
… at home, I guess!
Friday Fictioneers – Cosmic Toilet
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo this week was contributed by Roger Bultot.
I’ve gone for a silly, rather juvenile story this week. If you’re not familiar with “Dr Who”, all you need to know is that he travels through time in a TARDIS which is stuck looking like an old police box since its chameleon circuit jammed, and it’s bigger on the inside than the outside.
Click on the blue froggy to see this week’s other stories.
Copyright Roger Bultot
“Wow, look, that could be the TARDIS. Like off Dr Who!”
“It’s a portable toilet.”
“No, let’s go inside to see if he’s in there!”
“Who?”
“The Doctor, of course!”
“It’s a portable toilet.”
“Hmm, it is a bit of a tight squeeze. And very dark.”
“That’s because it’s a portable toilet. Hey, what’s that noise?”
“I thought since we’re in a portable toilet I’d offload that curry I had last night.”
“Oh my God. Let me out!”
“Aaaahhhh, that’s better. Hey, the door’s opening. Oy, occupied!”
Creeeaaak.
“What the Hell are you two doing in my TARDIS? And what is that smell?”
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